All right.
I have been missing from my blog for close to 6 monthys and have probably lost all my readers by now. Well, there was a reason for that and that reason is...
I went to college!!!
Yup I went to college, and am currently doing a foundation in Engineering.
I don't know where to start because it has been such a while... perhaps, at the beginning? Yeah okay.
First and foremost, it happened. I finally left home and started living on my own. On my first day of living in my apartment, my father went back to Sabah, and I almost cried in public. I don't mean the silent tears falling down my face (cause that did happen) but the full out bawling kind of crying. Then two arese started snickering at me from their car near us and it kinda ruined my moment.
Then that night, I cried in my room while my housemates went out lol.
Any other big news? Well, Meow died. I came back home a total of two times since I left and he was totally fine! Then one night, Mummy called me and she said he died... A WEEK BEFORE. T.T I got news that my cat died one week late....
So, how's life Krystal? Are you enjoying it?
Well honestly, I have been quite depressed (not clinically la lol) because I am taking a course that I have no passion in. And I have always dreamed of doing something I love and that I will have fun with my life that the idea that I probably won't takes so much time to sink in. But then, when it did sink (like a month ago) and I thought "Oh my God what have I gotten myself into?!" I got angry at myself and kinda ruined relationship with the people around me with my bitterness. I've been an awful person lately... sensitive, mean, insensitive, an arse to people gosh I don't like myself.
But you know what, I am getting around to accepting. There are some falls like the other day I got a 39/65 for a pre-calculus test and I broke down in class, sobbing. Only about 3 of my classmates saw me though. They were speechless cause maybe that was the first time they had to deal with an overly emotional girl (they were from an all boys school). I rethought my whole life and kinda melted into the ground haha.
But then I got myself together and scored 62.5/65 on the next test woo!
There's so much going on in my life. University applications are going on all over again. Assignments, presentations, homework are given out every single week. But somehow, I am not drowning. I am pretty bad in my socialisation skills though. I seem to say the wrong things and react the wrong way and offend people. Wanna say sorry also, too cowardly to do that.
I don't know what to do about that except to just let it be and hope time will make things better.