What I've Done In 2014

It's the end of the year again and I thought that I should reflect on myself. New year brings up mixed emotions for me cause I'm happy that its a new start, scared of what happens for the next year, proud of what I've done, and kinda sad of what I didn't do.

2014 was a mildly eventful year.

I got the longest holiday ever which lasted seven months because I ended secondary school and was waiting for my SPM results. Since I was 4 years old in preschool, the longest holiday I have had was 2 months. And then suddenly I have more than half a year of nothing, so I didn't do anything productive. The next time I'm gonna have a holiday this long will probably be because of unemployment, marriage, pregnancy (but even pregnancy also no holiday actually), or I become terminally ill. Knock on wood. *taptap

This year I also scored straight A's in SPM and that landed me a scholarship to a foundation in engineering. I got really angry at myself for a while after I accepted the scholarship because I have never wanted to become an engineer. But I already chose it so just accept it la.

And thus in the year 2014, I became a college student majoring in engineering yey.

Through studies, I learnt to live in an apartment with 3 other girls. I found out that living is expensive, which sucks.

I wasn't really homesick but I did miss home occasionally. But I went home every month so what do I really know of homesickness.

I found out that I don't care if I wear the same 8 shirts, 3 jackets, 3 jeans to class in cycle over and over again because clothes are expensive.

I also learnt that precalculus is out to drive me mad slowly and the thought of taking Calculus I next semester makes me burst into tears. But that's okay.

I learnt how to board airplanes by myself. It still makes me anxious though.

I had not much bad times this year but one of it would be GPA nda sampai mark. Aiya, this is something I'm so angry at myself. Did you know that the grade for A range is >90?! But its okay, I'm persistent.

I feel like the year started after I went to college haha. Before that,life was too uneventful.

I didn't expect my life to turn out this way. EVER. Nevertheless, I am.grateful to God that it is the way it is. Please 2015, be my year!

Please let me have the willpower to study hard. And maybe sprinkle my life with a little bit of luck. A dash of happiness and a buttload of fun. Also add wealth and fortune la while you're at it lol.

TOEFL

I am so happy! I just checked my TOEFL (TEST OF ENGLISH AS A FOREIGN LANGUAGE) results and I got 115/120... WHICH IS PASS MY SPONSOR'S FLYING REQUIREMENT OF MINIMUM 100!

I feel so alive! *happy dance

I was already bracing myself for disappointment.

I always get a score of 100++ during my practice tests so I should've had more confidence in myself... But if I suddenly had a mediocre or bad score for the real TOEFL, that would have been more frustrating!

And I usually do my TOEFL practice tests carelessly. I sometimes drift off, just hantam an answer, don't take notes and my main goal during practice tests is to finish it as fast as possible... Cause its super tiring and I just wanna get it over with.

So I guess those bad habits leaked into the real test. I even finished an hour early. I live dangerously like that.

TOEFL is hard work when you live in Borneo. Have to use an airplane, book a hotel, use taxis and eat expensive outside food that sometimes isn't even yummy. But my test centre was just outside of the Petronas Twin Towers so I got to do a little tourist-ing, and consumed and buned about 3000 calories in one day. SO MUCH EATING AND WALKING!

And I always hear how KL stuff is so cheap. Manada! In fact, it might even be more pricey.

The hotel I stayed at was right in front of the twin towers so I lived next to a celebrity AND had very nice wifi connection so I 9gagged to sleep. (9gagging=giggles=best way to fall asleep)

So I'm happy! This must be one of heaven's gifts for me this Christmas. :D 감사함니다.

Which reminds me! Its Christmas time aka the most wonderful time of the year! Merry Christmas and may all your wishes come true!

Babai!

Sigh Sigh Sigh

So I did it. I ruined my life.

When I first started college, my lecturer brought one of my seniors into class to talk to us. He could answer all of our questions.
P
He said, "This is one advice that you should always follow: Don't mess up."

And surprise! That's exactly what I did. I messed up on my final essay which costs 20 percent of my final grade for the subject. *sob uncontrollably

And the more embarassing thing is, I told my friends that I thought I did well on the essay! I should stop saying these kind of things, the opposite always happens.

People say that great people dare to fail. That's always easier said than done. When you're the one who fell down and bruised a purple bump on your knee, its hard to smile and say, I'm ok.

It has been 4 days since I got the news of my screwed up essay and I still have to stop mid-something and sigh and bury my face in my hands.

When I watch a comedy movie, I stop mid-giggle and sigh.

When I drink water, I stop mid-gulp, choke and sigh.

When I read a book, I stop mid-chapter to throw the book across the room and sigh.

Oops, I just sighed writing that last sentence.

I just wanna forget this situation. Cause its not like I can do anything about it anymore and I've learnt my lesson. I gotta study more and be more careful. *sigh

I sighed again

I need a hobby. I think I've read about 10 books already in a month. My current book is Red Queen. Its a story where a world is divided by the colour of your blood. The plot twists are just.... Twisty haha. It didn't really make me go gasp OMG. But enough to make my eyes go wide.

I've also just finished reading a book called 'Heaven Is For Real'. Its an okay book about a kid who went to heaven and he met Jesus and God and experienced heaven exactly as how it is stated in the Bible.

I should try going swimming for a little while. Perhaps tomorrow. Enjoy life while I still have the chance and try to get in shape before the new year.

Stupid Dog That I Love

My dog, Hachi who works as a full time bodyguard for my house disappeared a few weeks ago. I suspect that someone stole him because he is such a badass bodyguard or maybe cause he’s so noisy so someone killed him. Its possible! The world is a cruel place.

Anyway, one of our neighbours asked us what happened and when we told her that Hachi is gone, she said that it was a shame cause Hachi is a “special” dog. Hachi is very very very loud. Every time a stranger passes our house, he goes berserk. But, Hachi is a smart doggy.

He is so smart that he knows all the cars and people around my area, so he doesn’t bark at them. But when he sees someone he doesn’t recognize or a new car, he warns us that there are strangers around.

And I also love that Hachi has expressions. The neighbour said that even though he’s loud, he’s a nice dog because he SMILES. Yeap, my dog smiles at neighbours which is something that even I don’t do.

I want Hachi to come back but at the same time, taking care of a naughty dog is hard work. He climbs over our gate at night and prowls the neighbourhood and pees at people’s tyres. We call him Batdog because of that. (Haha geddit geddit? Cause he’s a bad dog.)

I think someone took him away cause he’s the type of dog that would bite on sight. He doesn’t even hesitate to try to amputate my hand off! Me! The person who feeds him! So terrible la this dog…

But as terrible as he is, I kinda love this doggy. So come home and let me love you, you stupid dog!

2nd December 2014

It has been raining heavily these past few days and yesterday, it rained the whole day. The weather is so pretty like this! :D

I am back in Sabah now, having my semester holidays and I feel unusual. I was so busy with studying and assignments back in school that I was begging for the holidays to come. But now that I am having my holidays, I don’t know what to do and I feel empty.

And everyday I think, what am I gonna do today? And then I answer myself with nothing or something incredibly boring like sleeping. But before I know it, night comes and my family comes home and yay I have company again.

On a sadder note, I just found out my GPA pointer for the semester and its… not as good as I want it to be. I was aiming for 3.5 and above and I didn’t reach it. I got a 3.31 CGPA.

I am tempted to explain to everyone that the grading scale is high and the subjects were hard to justify my less than satisfactory results, but I think its immature to make excuses like that. So I’m just going to redeem myself next time.

There is a reason for me to want a 3.5 CGPA and that is because it is a minimum requirement for me to fly overseas next august. It is a huge setback for me but nevermind la, just study in Malaysia for another year also ok. :D

I don’t know why I am so desperate to fly next year. I really really want to but then again, there are some silver linings. Like for example, I could grow to be more mature and learn to find myself in a familiar environment.  And I’m still figuring out my life so waiting another year might be a good idea.

So for now, I don’t have to worry about university applications or interviews or anything that’s weighing my shoulders down. The CGPA thing is pretty bummy, but I’ll live.

Oh and also, I am totally loving living away from my family. I know some people who are incredibly homesick, and I myself get homesick sometimes too, but most of the time, I feel more free to live on my own with housemates. I like being able to buy late night snacks, and doing my own laundry without any of it going missing, and I like going to study rooms to study and staying at the library late.

Living in boarding school (although I’m not in a boarding school. I’m in college) is awesome. I can see why people love it.

I have also made some friends who I've really come to love and care for and who I know will always be there for me, so that just proves that I'm not the socially awkward seal I think I am!