Miracles Of November

So, November is coming to an end. I got this title from twitter just now. I've been having writer's block again, probably because of EXO.

Speaking of EXO! I saw their first variety show on youtube called Showtime and and and they're so charming! My heart was literally aching from just watching them. Any EXO fans out there? Exothermic's? Hello?

*stares dreamily* 

Tao laughs like a girl.... -.-

Why why why why why must they be so perfect! Everytime I watch them, my self-esteem goes down drastically....

Ok, enough about EXO.

Now, miracles of November. I've not finished my SPM examinations yet - there's one more week to go - but since my last paper is English for Science and Tech, I feel like I've already finished it! It's more of trying to fit everything you know into the given title in 2 hours than actually writing a real report, as long as it makes sense. Just bullshit through it and you'll be fine also.

My reports aren't very professional heh.

It's a miracle of November to be feeling this kind of freedom that I am feeling now. Playing games, reading story books, going out, sleeping, 9gagging (YES)  is all guilt free. Before this, I used to always scold myself for not being very productive, which is actually most of the time.

Miracle of November #2, I am ignored by a guy friend now that he has a girlfriend. Now that I think about it though, I don't think he even liked me (as a friend hey ahem ahem) before, and was just amusing me lol. Yeah... there goes half of my self esteem.

Miracle of November #3, I finished high school! Oh my goodness, has it really been five years. Yeah, there were a lot of fun, embarrassing, cool, sad, happy memories made there. I actually remember my first day there pretty well. Everything looked very very big. Now its small and familiar in the way that you know almost every twist and turn of it. But I still think that the toilet and canteen is sooooo far away from each other.

And that's pretty much it. SPM was fine and not as stressful as I thought it would be. I always dreaded the SPM month cause I never have handled pressure and stress really well. I always try to deal with pressure by assuring myself that everything would be okay. No not assuring, deluding.

My paper 2 of history was a total mess though. And after I finished it, I was very convinced that I would get B. Then I checked my paper 1, which is and A B C paper, and I got 38/40. *pat's self on back

So my confidence shot right back up.

Now, life is pretty boring. I bet all kids are like that huh. Or is it just me that's a loser? *dark

I have to find something to do for five months and the obvious think is to get a job. But what and how? I have never worked a day in my life and suddenly I'm a woman haha. I really don't want to work but at the same time, I really don't want to rot at home.

This is the curse of having an easy life. You work not cause you need the money, but cause you have nothing better to do. My tutor warned me about this last time. After SPM,  wouldn't know what to do. At tht time, I just said no la, there's tons of things to do after SPM. Like being best friends with the internet (we would never part).

But now, the internet isn't looking so hot. Its so boring! This must be Stockholm Syndrome (when the prisoner grows attached to the kidnapper aka Beauty and The Beast). SPM is my kidnapper and now that I'm free, I keep wishing that I kinda wasn't.

EXO EXO WE WANT EXO!

Today I'm gonna spam my blog with EXO. Like A LOT OF EXO.

Sarah loves Lay. I don't know if this guy is Lay actually. I think it is? This was from Running Man episoe 171 when Lay was trying to say 'Jong Kook hyung'

Actually, that episode of Running Man was when I saw (and fell in love with) EXO for the first time. I think its cause they made eye contact with the camera a lot.

(Eye contact makes you fall in love and if you make eye contact for 8 seconds when you meet sometime for the first time, it could lead to love at first sight or hate *fyeah EST student)

BUT OMAIGAWD SEHUN IS SO COOL. Look at the way he sticks his tongue out. He does it so photogenically.

Lay and Tao *faints from gorgeousness

By the way, does anyone else notice that Tao has elf ears? Its pointed at the tip. And his nose is so straight ad his jawline is so defined. If I stand next to him it would look like plastic surgery before and after.

(Revives from looking at Kris) 

And Luhan!!!! He's wearing eyeliner. I like how his teeth is so straight and white. When I earn my own money, its straight to surgery with my teeth. I don't think I can stand waiting for braces to set. That's two, three years! That's one of the things on top of my must-do list, get straight teeth in 5 years.

Oh my goodness, how can these boys be so talented, good looking, charismatic and cute? How can???

One of my classmates looks like Sehun! His name is Li Xuan and when I told him so, he said he loves Sehun. Hahahaha. And when I said I love Sehun and Tao, he said he loves Tao too!!! Unfortunately, Li Xuan is kind of mean and takes jokes too far.

Sehun's ideal type is :

160cm-164cm. Dang it, I missed the minimum requirement by 6 cm! *makes note to drink more milk

Prefers older girls. He's 19 now, and I'm 17. Oppa, don't you like younger girls?

He prefers kind girls. Yeah, well, don't all boys?

He likes Miranda Kerr. Whaaaaat? (I like her too haha.)

Likes pale skin. *goes to bleach skin

WEIGHT IS 99 POUNDS WTF SEHUN YOU'RE DATING BARBIE. Seriously, 160 cm and weighing that little? He must like models. Oh wait.... Miranda Kerr...

HAIYA ALL OF THESE CRITERIAS DON'T APPLY TO ME! Except he likes bubbly girls, and I'm bubbly right right right? And he likes double eyelids and I have double eyelids! And he likes neat girls and I'm neat what!

Hohoho, there's a chance after all. *delusional

And this is for Sarah, who is also a fan of EXO who likes Lay.

1)Kind

2)Respectful

3)Someone who's shorter than he is.

4)Long hair

5)Someone who's cute.

Hmmmm. It's weird cause Sarah has all these characteristics. Sehun-ah whyyyyyy! *moody and dark

But I still love Sehun cause I'm just that faithful.

EXOthermic

I've fallen in love with EXO! Especially Sehun and Tao. Tao being the guy who opens the door in the beginning and Sehun is the blonde guy with a beanie.

They're so cool and when I saw them in Running Man Ep 171, I was like OOOOOOOHHHHHH, pretty boys!

I LOVE LOVE LOVE THEM!!!!! While doing moral and add maths exam the other day, this song was playing in my mind in repeat despite the fact that this is in Korean. Yerrr, I really wanna learn Korean and Chinese now (cause EXO is Korean/Chinese group)

Maybe I'll do Chinese first.

Xiaole yixia hao qiguai. (You smile strangely at me?)

I mean, how do these guys manage to look so cool and glamorous??!! What do they drink, what do they eat?? Is the water in east Asia that magical?

Hahaha, nope not the water, the doctors. Most idols' beauty is man-made. Which makes me feel better about myself cause they had to work to be perfect too. So, there's a chance for me to become as perfect looking as them, provided that I have the money and time and desperation lol.

But alas, as it is, I am pretty happy with the way I look now.

I STILL LOVE EXO TO INFINITY AND BEYOND!!!!

None Of You Understands This Post LOL

I guess its true but I can't help it!

I was worrying that my history answers for my exam was wrong today and guess what, one whole essay was completely out of topic so because of that, 20 marks were gone just like that.

So I just stared at my rotten exam paper and accepted the fact that I'm not gonna get an A for this subject. But I couldn't make myself accept it. So I just hoped that there would be an abundance of idiots taking this SPM, or at last, more idiotic than me so that the curve would be just a bit in my favour.

And then a while later, Tiara, a very good friend of mine texted me the answers to the objective parts of the exam which is basically just shading in alphabets.

Guess what! I got 38/40 answers correct!!!!! While I was taking the exam, I thought, hmmm, too easy? Or maybe my standards have sunk so low these past two years lol. SO YAY!!!! This is the highest marks I've ever gotten for SPM standards.

Hmm, what else. Ok, about the subjective parts, which is the writing and essays.

I opened my paper and was so shocked because I didn't anticipate the question. It asked about two cities in the history of India. My first thought was, 'nobody would know that'. So I did the most stupid thing ever, which was to leave it blank. Only later did I find out that everybody else knew the answer to that.

For the essay part, we had to choose three out of six questions and one of the things that I chose was about the reopening of the city of Makkah.

Now, there are four Muslim themed chapters in the SPM syllabus and they are not my forte. I don't even know why I chose that question!!!! Dammmitttttt!

But yeah, I got the whole concept wrong so my whole essay was filled with silliness and so, I lost 20 marks.

According to my calculation, assuming that I have full marks which is 20% for my Paper 3 tomorrow and I got 29% for my Paper 1, I just need another 23% to get an A.

Which means I need 46/100 in that paper!!!!!

I hope it was enough!!! Please God please!

What am I supposed to do now.... study more would be the wise thing to do.

Its SPM month/season/time now!!!! It has finally come!

I don't know if its because I am a teenager and my hormones are getting the best of me but suddenly I feel like all hope of getting good results are sucked out of me. And I'm not even saying straight A's ok, I mean, 8A's is good enough for me already.

But I read some blog posts by people who got good grades and their marks were all A's and B's ONLY.

http://jovylky.blogspot.com/2012/03/spm-results.html#

http://fatiguechic.blogspot.com/2012/03/spm-result-day.html

http://littlemissmeencollections.blogspot.com/2011/03/my-spm-results.html


And here I was struggling to even achieve a C in almost everything. T___T

I'm damn emo right now, let me just rant this off. Feel free to judge.

I am a stupid girl and the only reason (some) people think I am even mildly smart is JUST because I got slightly smarter than last year. And last year, I failed 5 subjects and didn't even get a B in a single one. But eventhough I am getting better than last year, I am still lacking A LOT and I am still struggling.

But I shouldn't be saying that about myself....

Because SPM hasn't ended yet and there's still a chance for good results!! The only limit to our realization of tomorrow will be our doubts today.

This is my 1 year dream (?) and I will definitely strive towards it. And eventhough I may not achieve my good grades, I will still be happy because this was my effort after all, and I'm only angry when things happen that is out of my control.

Everyone, please pray for me ok? Cause I am freaking scared right now.

Haha, I just remembered something my sister said the other day. "Crystal!! You must get straight A's!" she said as she pointed her index finger to my nose. "Yeah yeah..." I sighed, rolling my eyes towards the ceiling above. "How much did Daddy invest in your studies this year?" she said with a warning tone.

Then I went to study lol. He had invested so much in my SPM!!!! Like thousands of ringgits. So, I must do well!

And, I'll pray for everyone else too! Especially SPM, STPM and O-Levels dudes. We'll win this battle together.

Afterthought : Actually, I should hope that other spm-ers would do badly so the grade will drop hoho. Such evil thoughts shouldn't even be contemplated!

The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.

My greatest concern is not whether you have failed, but whether you are content with your failure. 

Letter To 13 Year Old Crystal

(If anyone wants me to blur out their faces or put down any photos, feel free to tell me and I'll do it ASAP).)

When I was 13, I always thought to myself, remember this moment when you finish high school. Those moments were always useless and boring ones haha but I remember that once I stared in the clock and imagined what difference life would have in 5 years.

I imagined that by 17, I would be in a relationship. Yes seriously, I was so desperate to have someone I could call mine and he had to be heartbreakingly handsome, smart, doesn't smoke, is strong spiritually, mysterious, sweet, kind, and most of all, makes my heart flutter. *gag

Big shoes to fill huh?

Yeah, so big that until now no guy has ever filled it haha.

And then I imagined that I would be breathtakingly gorgeous and smart and cool and very very mature and sophisticated. Again, big shoes and I have such small feet.

And I also thought that I would move to All Saints and mingle with rich people while drinking champagne (?).

I hated my classes. I hated the people (yeah, I did....) And I hated the overall thought of my school.

Needless to say, I was miserable and I wanted out.

But you know what 13 year old Crystal, when you turn 17, you would have already met some of the most awesome people in the world. You have laughed soooooo much till you choked and formed abs. 

Like this, yeah the guy you called rude, 13 year old Crystal. Unexpected righttttt?! But he's not rude at all!! He makes you laugh like crazy every single time you talk to him, so obviously you talk to him a lot. But at times, he can be mature when he needs to, which makes him kinda cool hoho. He's super nice! He'll be the guy who talks to you when you're all by yourself.

You would have cried, and there are friends who gather around you and say what you need to hear.

In form 5, you'll experience your worst nightmare 13 year old Crystal, you went down to third class! But no worries, the 16 year old you doesn't care and the 17 year old you loved it! It was a blast to study there, trust me.

 Again with this guy haha. Also, you'll be talking to the coolest trio ever. Zul, Hafiz and Adzman. They are seriously the best trio ever!!!

 There's this girl called Frieda. In form 3, she'll come up to your seat in the 3rd row by the window and she'll randomly tell you about her new boyfriend. Then your friendship bloomed from there. *shiny eyes And you should watch out for the day when she'll say she has a blog cause that'll be one of your favorite hobbies.

Also, there's a guy named Calvin from the chinese class who will be your classmate in form 2. He'll sit right behind you in form 2 and in form 5, he'll be one of the kindest people whom you can speak to

Jessica has been in your life since 2005. She'll change a 270 degree turn trust me. In a good way of course. You love her to death now and don't stop.

And this is Brian John, another guy from a chinese class. You'll be in the same class with him from form 2 till form 5, yeap. No matter how derpy he looks, don't underestimate him.

He is one of the guys in school that you trust. And you love talking to him cause you guys share the same kind of sick humour.

You still make weird faces without knowing that you do at the camera. But now, you start liking the way you look. Don't worry about how you'll look like, you'll start blooming when you become 15 year old Crystal.

Caroline you will meet next year. She'll sit next to you at the back of the class and that is when the party of the next four years of your life starts. Click the link. Theres one whole blog post about her haha.

Vanissa will turn out to be one of your best friends! You'll love her very much, trust me. I'm not sure how you two got close but just go with the flow. What I do know is that, you two will start talking more after form 3. I don't know much, but what I do know is that she'll be one of the people who will mean a lot to you.

Carlin also! She is damn smart ok, ask her any add maths questions in form 5. And also, dunno how you guys got close, eh heh...-.0 However, I don't think we've talked as much as I would have loved to. :( But nevermind, we've talked during those days that we both wait for our parents in front of the school. :)

Sarah is a new girl next year. You will be immediately envious of her beauty and then more envious of her singing talent. Listen to her, cause she gives the best advice ever. In form 4, you and her will bond over drama. And you will love drama, trust me.

Aina and you will bond over her textbooks in form 3. You will be a bad class monitor and will be entrusted with the responsibility of helping her with her textbooks. In form 5, you guys will talk A LOT.

Donovan is a random guy in your life, forget about him. HAHA JUST JOKING. He is the class clown and will be responsible for most of your laughter in form 5. He has become more good looking huh?

The person taking this picture is Asrie and he has become wayyyy taller. You thought he was good looking then, he's very good looking now! Haha, and he's one of the nice guys that you love hanging around with.

Oh ya!! That crush you have right now will go on till form 3. He will be nicknamed Mathias (based on your favorite model). And Mathias will never ever like you back. EVER. Or at least, not so far. But its no use telling you not to waste energy and breath over this one way feeling, cause you will.

Right now, hmmm, I don't know. He's made you fall for him (hard), and now, I'm kinda spiralling back. Though now I know that I need to resist. And btw, you make it so obvious you like him, so he knows you like him all this while. But you guys have never talked about it.

Well, 13 year old Crystal, there are lots more pictures out there but people haven't uploaded them on facebook yet. Yeap, that thing you signed up for this year has officially replaced Friendster lol.

In 1st November 2013, you will have your last real class of high school. You didn't cry then. But while taking pictures with your best buds, you feel like you lose a part of yourself. You will hug them tightly as if you will never see them again.

And you feel that if you could, you'd have another year with them all over again.