This is the story that inspired my SPM english essay.

I read the book a week before SPM (I know right, sempat lagi) and fell in total love! My teacher asked us to write an essay on being a better person and I plagiarized wrote something inspired by a scene in the book.

Then when SPM came, I wrote about the same storyline as my essay in the book again haha. It was already in my head right, might as well use the same storyline.

I got an A for it :( 

I was expecting an A+. Sometimes I wonder if my essay was too deep and sad and melancholic for the examiner.

Anyway, this casting is so wrong!!!!! Hazel and Augustus are the Prior siblings from Divergent. And I imagined Augustus to be more good looking.

TMI

1. What are you wearing?
- I am wearing a brown comfy dress my dad bought for me.

2. Ever been in love?
-Nope. Except to fictional characters and celebrities haha. *coughjongsukcough* Some of my obsessions were Natsume Hyuuga, Edward Cullen (I was young and stupid), Lee Jong Suk, Mathias Lauridsen

3. Ever had a terrible breakup.
-No... *shifty eyed

4.  How tall are you?
-I am 153 cm or 5 feet tall. For 5 years I thought I was 156 cm..... haih, the agony!

5. How much do you weigh?
-45 kg. I plan to lose some.

6. Any tattoos?
-No and I don't think I'll ever have any.

7. Any piercings?
-I've pierced my ear 8 times and the last time was in 2009 but it always heal closed because I take such bad care of it. Now I only have one piercing on my right ear.

8. My favorite OTP.
- I had to google what OTP means hahaha. It means ONE TRUE PAIRING. I don't really have any... I guess Monday Couple la. Just hantam haha.

9. Favorite show?
- EXO Showtime!!! I can watch each episode an infinite amount of times. I also love Running Man and The Heirs but EXO Showtime is my favorite. If its western ones, I like Law and Order, Castle and Bones.

10. Favorite bands.
- EXO. (Even though they're not really a band, and in that case its CN Blue)

11. Something you miss.
- My secondary school days. I miss my friends and food and life and going out of the house daily!

12. Favorite song?
- My Lady by EXO.

13. How old are you?
- I'm 17 going on 18.

14. Zodiac sign.
-Libra.

15. Quality you look in a partner.
- Funny like Baekhyun, kind and joyful like Chen and real and relatable Tao.

16. Favorite quote.
- "The timing is now". -Yoo Jae Suk.
  "A wolf doesn't care about the opinion of sheeps". I think this everytime my confidence breaks down.
  "It all goes back in the box." Whenever I get too competitive in Monopoly, this is important to remember.
  "If you can't fly, then run. If you can't run, then walk. If you can't walk, then crawl. But whatever you do, you have to keep moving forward."

17. Favorite actor.
- Park Shin Hye. I also like Katherine Heigl in her comedy movies.

18. Favorite color.
-Pinkish beige.

19. Loud music or soft.
-Soft. Loud music annoys me.

20. Where do you go when you're sad.
- To 9gag. If after that I'm still sad, I'll drown my sorrows in blogging.

21. How long does it take for you to shower.
- 10 minutes.

22. How long does it take for you to get ready in the morning?
- Half an hour.

23. Ever been in a physical fight?
- Well I was in fencing, so yes. I also fight with my little brother. Usually over something like the tablet or book. If its like a catfight, I don't think so. Way to sissy for such things. If I soil myself how?

24. Turn on.
- You have to love EXO for us to be friends haha no I joke. Kindness, a sense of humour, brains and sensitivity. A good heart is what's important.

25. Turn off.
- Pretentious and rude people who think they are better than everyone else are the absolute worst! Just confidence isn't enough to be charismatic, we need compassion as well.

26. The reason I joined blogger.
- To have fun :D

27. Fears.
- Uncertainty.

28. Last thing that made you cry.
- Watching a series called Bones just now.

29. Last time you said you love someone.
-  few moments ago. I said, "I love Chen!!!!"



30. Meaning behind your blogger name.
- Krystal Cera is the pronunciation of my name but not the spelling. I thought it was clever lol.

31. Last book you read.
- The Charisma Myth by Olivia Fox Cabane. I read this to ace my interviews and I think its really interesting!

32. The book you're currently reading.
- Crown of Midnight by Sarah J. Maas. Not very impressed, but its ok.

33. Last show you watched.
- Bones.

34. Last person you talked to.
- My sister.

35. The relationship between you and the last person you texted.
- Friends.

36. Favorite food.
- Waffles right now. *salivate

37. Place you want to visit.
- South Korea!!!!!! Pleaseeeeeee someday... and I will go see a kpop concert! And eat the food (although I hate kimchi and tteokbeokki)! And go shopping!

38. Last place you were.
- A restaurant to eat noodles yeammm.

39. Do you have a crush?
- Nope.

40. Last time you kissed someone.
- I don't know haha. This question presumes that I have kissed someone! So the answer is, in a parallel universe lol.

41. Last time you were insulted.
- A few weeks ago, when this guy called me to recruit me to his university. So I said I wanted to study psychology and he said its a waste of my "talents" and I'll just end up working in an asylum. Bas After that, I said ok thanks bye and scratched that university from my list.

42. Favorite flavor of sweet.
- Milk sweets. There was this milk sweets sold in my school canteen last time and those were the only ones I would buy. If there wasn't any, and I really needed something sweet, it would be guava.

43. What instrument do you play.
- I don't know how to play anything. I would like to learn piano though.

44. Favorite piece of jewelry.
- I don't wear jewelry.

45. Last song you sang.
- Overdose by EXO. Oh she's got me, oh she wants me, oh she hurts me something something in korean bla bla overdose.

46. Last sport you played.
- Basketball or badminton waaaaaay last year.

47. Favorite chat up line.
- "I'm not supposed to speak to strangers, but we've met before." -Princess Aurora- hahahah

48. Have you ever used it?
- No, but I hope to someday. Its so funny eh! I have tried "Can I give you a kiss? *opens palm to reveal hersheys* A hershey's kiss?" I don't think thats a pickup line though.

49. Last time you hung out with anyone.
- On monday, Sarah, Esther and I had the same interview.

50. Who should answer these questions next.
- YOU.

Gif Of Chen Winking

I think Chen may have bumped Tao for first place in my exo bias list.



"When you cry, the sun shines"

Pent Up Anger

Yayyyy all my college and scholarship interviews are done! I had three interviews - JPA, MARA-JPA and UM. Should I write an experience blog?

The more that I think about it, I think I have made a grave mistake.

Eottohke?!

My mistake is letting other people tell me what to do. Back then, it seemed like a pretty good idea because I had no idea at all what I wanted to do with myself and I thought adults knew better than me anyway, so a huge part of my choices (like 50%) was all about other people's thoughts on what I need to be.

I don't have the passion for most of the things they tell me to do.

So, my advice to my juniors who are fresh out of school... DON'T LET ANYONE, NOT EVEN YOUR PARENTS, TELL YOU WHAT YOU WANT. If you don't know what you, think about it until you do. Ask for advice but don't let people force you. Ask yourself, what do I desire? What Alan Watts said is true, if you really like doing something, you will eventually become a master at it and it doesn't matter what it is.

I should have just applied what I wanted!!!!! *sigh Now, looking in at my list of applied courses, it makes my heart heavy.

In fact, I'm starting to resent everyone who told me what I needed to do. And its not even a suggestion, its like an order. Said rudely to me some more haih.

Everyone (well almost everyone, mostly the aunties) is telling me, "Don't be stupid. You got 10As. Be this be that. What for become this and that. Eh, money is everything you know so don't need to put your passion and happiness into this decision. Trust me, I'm an aunty and I know everything."

And its just so frustrating!! Its me who is going to make this my whole life! Its me who is going through the stress! Hey aunty! Go tell your own children what to do  la!!! The worst thing is, they have been absent for most of your life and suddenly at this moment, they can tell you what's best for you.

I want to be what I am passionate about and what is going to make me happy. Money is numbers, and numbers will never end. The people who make their whole life working just for the sake of gaining money will never be satisfied.

I don't want to get money just to continue living a shitty life.

Lol, is my pent up anger showing? Well, that's cause I am angry.

Mostly angry at myself for not standing up for myself in the first place. They told, and I listened so that makes me equally, if not more, or even if not entirely at fault in this situation. 

So when the time comes, I will have to decide. If I were offered a scholarship or accepted into a course in something I don't want, will I take it? Maybe a miracle will happen.

Ok, so now my mind is past on what to do in the future.

And has moved on into getting the means of how to get to doing the future! Yayy progress from one worry to another slightly less stressful worry. Because choosing what you want to do is like so permanent, but getting the means of doing it has a lot of options and is quite straightforward.

So its interviews time! Though this is so syok sendiri and delusional because I haven't even been called for an interview yet but there has to be at least one in my life right? So if I prepare now, it wouldn't be a waste of time anyway.

I divided my time into reading self help books on how to get people to like you instantly and reading up on the courses I applied for. Let's just say, that its not as easy as I had imagined it to be.

First of all, my malay deteriorated rapidly throughout the holidays. My accent is weird and forced and I can't figure out the words to say. Haha, I keep asking my mother to translate for me. Just just now, I asked her what was human nature in malay twice! (Its 'sifat semula jadi manusia' btw)

Its my malay that worries me the most because I sometimes get tongue tied in tight situations. Dahlah nervous in english, nervous in malay is twice the trouble.

Im also worried that I might not have enough opinions. I'm not a very opiniated girl. I don't oppose much. I just go with the flow. If you told me that 2X89 was 118, I wouldn't even care to object or count it myself lol.

Which also makes me gullible to facts haha. I counted that, its 178 right right?

So if the interviewers asks what I think about global warming... add my un-opinion-ness and my nervousness and I'll probably say some BS like, "Global warming is a myth."

Oh my goodness. That's actually possible. *knock on wood

I should say something like, nature will persevere. Mankind is only harming itself. Nature will evolve, and mankind is foolish to think that just because we won't survive, nothing else will.

Sehhhhh, read that in a mature, slow, confident voice. Now, can I turn that phrase into malay? No I cannot. Well, I can, but it will take some googling and asking my mum.

I went shopping yesterday and it was sooooo nice! I went to VOIR and it has 70% off sales. *squeal

I bought two tops for me, one for my mom and another for my sister. Everything amounted to around RM80 which is okay for me. But this is VOIR we're talking about, I should have been paying RM300 for the studd I bought.

I think I'll stop shopping for a while...

But I always say that anyway and go into crazy shopping mode whenever I go out. I need to save money for when I go to uni. *sigh

March 2014 Has Passed Already?!

A no sense post to end March :D If you can tolerate my constant blabber that is.

I can't believe its the end of March already! So much has happened (actually all that happened is getting the SPM results)

First, after getting results is going back to kampung last weekend. By coincidence, that weekend my parents and uncles and aunts and distant relatives had planned to make a family meeting so they would never lose touch.

A lot of people asked me what I want to do what I want to do when I grow up now. I guess I am kinda grown up now, at least grown up enough to have to think about this latest nuisance.

My answer had always changed throughout my life and now I know what the true answer is. I don't know. *lol facepalm

 Basically the general answer is "Whatever that makes me filthy rich in the future". =.=

I need to wake up and be brave. I can't be worried that I might hate my life in the future. I can't be worried about things that I haven't experienced yet, that's just irrational.

BUT I CAN'T HELP HAVING THE NEED TO PULL MY HAIR FROM MY SCALP!

There's that frustrating  feeling of butterflies multiplying in my tummy again. Always there to remind me of the future that isn't predictable. I admire people who would think of this as an adventure and take it all in stride but that's just not me.

I commented on Sarah's blog that everything would end up fine, and if it doesn't then that means that its not the end of things yet.

So, I'm going to try to be positive and optimistic! :D

Another thing that happened is that my taste in shopping just upgraded lol. Suddenly all the cheap items have no attraction to me! In fact, I just bought RM 130 worth of products from the body shop the other day and I never usually spend that much in one go.... Is this good or bad.

I saw a top at Padini that is very gorgeous (*salivate) and I have wanted to buy it for a long time but.... its RM 120! That's more than my usual entire outfit put together!! It's right in front of the shop so every time I pass the shop, I'd be sighing because this particular shirt is almost never on sale.

It was on sale once for 20% but I thought... its Padini. Padini always has crazier sales. Now Padini has a huge sale but that particular top isn't even 10% off. Come on shopping luck! Work!

Btw, I wrote about a pair of jeans a few weeks ago.

I saw these pair of acid washed jeans and they were on a buy one free one sale. I wished I had a friend to share the free one sigh at that moment. I think it was around RM 88 which is super expensive for me. So, I just sorta caressed it and left to the general direction of Etude House where I once again regained joy.

And I bought it!! My cheapskate luck worked and it was on sale and I bought it for RM 35+-+-.

I've also found a new favorite book! Its been a while since I've read a new very good book. I read the divergent series recently because the movie came out but its just not working for me. So to keep myself occupied, I re-read the Harry Potter series. But now, I found a book called Persephone by Kaitlin Bevis. Really interesting eh! My knowledge in Greek mythology has leveled up drastically (hail wikipedia!)! I wanna read more books with greek mythology!

Maybe I should become a greek mythology professor, if such an occupation really exists.

    

I keep thinking of Nana as Aphrodite in my head. Need two pics cause she's so beautiful *starstruck

I read the the whole three books in the series in 2 days. That's how good it is. I know its silly but I've always had a stupid habit of getting too emotionally attached to characters in books I read. Even right now I'm experiencing book-end-withdrawal and I've been moping around goodreads trying to find another treasure.

I should go slow and savour it next time, like when people drink wine.

I'm so thankful that such good and entertaining books exist. Reading is the best on a boring, uneventful day. Sigh, I hope that when I go to school again, I'd have time to read but somehow, I have a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach that I won't because I'll be so busy.