March 2014 Has Passed Already?!

A no sense post to end March :D If you can tolerate my constant blabber that is.

I can't believe its the end of March already! So much has happened (actually all that happened is getting the SPM results)

First, after getting results is going back to kampung last weekend. By coincidence, that weekend my parents and uncles and aunts and distant relatives had planned to make a family meeting so they would never lose touch.

A lot of people asked me what I want to do what I want to do when I grow up now. I guess I am kinda grown up now, at least grown up enough to have to think about this latest nuisance.

My answer had always changed throughout my life and now I know what the true answer is. I don't know. *lol facepalm

 Basically the general answer is "Whatever that makes me filthy rich in the future". =.=

I need to wake up and be brave. I can't be worried that I might hate my life in the future. I can't be worried about things that I haven't experienced yet, that's just irrational.

BUT I CAN'T HELP HAVING THE NEED TO PULL MY HAIR FROM MY SCALP!

There's that frustrating  feeling of butterflies multiplying in my tummy again. Always there to remind me of the future that isn't predictable. I admire people who would think of this as an adventure and take it all in stride but that's just not me.

I commented on Sarah's blog that everything would end up fine, and if it doesn't then that means that its not the end of things yet.

So, I'm going to try to be positive and optimistic! :D

Another thing that happened is that my taste in shopping just upgraded lol. Suddenly all the cheap items have no attraction to me! In fact, I just bought RM 130 worth of products from the body shop the other day and I never usually spend that much in one go.... Is this good or bad.

I saw a top at Padini that is very gorgeous (*salivate) and I have wanted to buy it for a long time but.... its RM 120! That's more than my usual entire outfit put together!! It's right in front of the shop so every time I pass the shop, I'd be sighing because this particular shirt is almost never on sale.

It was on sale once for 20% but I thought... its Padini. Padini always has crazier sales. Now Padini has a huge sale but that particular top isn't even 10% off. Come on shopping luck! Work!

Btw, I wrote about a pair of jeans a few weeks ago.

I saw these pair of acid washed jeans and they were on a buy one free one sale. I wished I had a friend to share the free one sigh at that moment. I think it was around RM 88 which is super expensive for me. So, I just sorta caressed it and left to the general direction of Etude House where I once again regained joy.

And I bought it!! My cheapskate luck worked and it was on sale and I bought it for RM 35+-+-.

I've also found a new favorite book! Its been a while since I've read a new very good book. I read the divergent series recently because the movie came out but its just not working for me. So to keep myself occupied, I re-read the Harry Potter series. But now, I found a book called Persephone by Kaitlin Bevis. Really interesting eh! My knowledge in Greek mythology has leveled up drastically (hail wikipedia!)! I wanna read more books with greek mythology!

Maybe I should become a greek mythology professor, if such an occupation really exists.

    

I keep thinking of Nana as Aphrodite in my head. Need two pics cause she's so beautiful *starstruck

I read the the whole three books in the series in 2 days. That's how good it is. I know its silly but I've always had a stupid habit of getting too emotionally attached to characters in books I read. Even right now I'm experiencing book-end-withdrawal and I've been moping around goodreads trying to find another treasure.

I should go slow and savour it next time, like when people drink wine.

I'm so thankful that such good and entertaining books exist. Reading is the best on a boring, uneventful day. Sigh, I hope that when I go to school again, I'd have time to read but somehow, I have a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach that I won't because I'll be so busy.

Short Post For Today

Yesterday I watched the Critic's Choice Awards and I wonder how can people be so beautiful and elegant like that?

By the way, YAY ANNE HATHAWAY WON AN AWARD FOR LES MISERABLES!!!

I like her with long hair better. Just like Miley Cyrus and Emma Watson.
I've always thought that my family watches a lot of movies because everytime there's a new 'famous' movie out in the cinemas, my dad would bring the whole family to go watch. But it seems like all the good movies are out all at the same time!!!! HOW COME AH? Haiya, I definitely have to go to the store to buy them... ASAP!
After watching the Critic's Choice Award, I realised that I've actually missed a lot. Wreck-It-Ralph, Looper,  Argo, The Silver Linings Playbook.
I feel like time is slipping by too fast!!! NUUUU!
Okay, sudden subject change.
I always learn something new in EST class like today, we had a long discussion about pregnancy and giving birth.
A myth about giving birth is that it hurts like hell when you're trying to push the baby out. Well, this was a silly myth that the movies have pushed into my head because I thought that the delivery rooms was a place of cursing, screaming and crying.
But surprisingly, my teacher said that's not true! The pain is actually from the contractions and even that only lasts for about 5 seconds and then you rest for like 10 minutes, depending on how close you are to pushing.
And when you are ready to push, the pushing helps counter the pain so you don't feel much.
And then when you see the face of your baby, all the pain goes away. ^^
At least, that's how my teacher explains it. I'm not sure how much of the truth is in there. But I'm more reassured of the future after she explained that cause I've always thought that it was just one of those things that women had to deal with.

Haiya, a girl my age shouldn't think of these things yet and yet, I am. *shakes head

Ok I'm going to go for tuition in an hour so I'm gonna take a short nap.

Shit!!!!

Oh crap oh crap oh crap. I'm in serious deep crap now.

I lost the attendance list of st johns ambulance meeting on October and i might as well just commit suicide now.

Oh crap oh crap oh crap.

I SERIOUSLY FEEL LIKE FLINGING SHIT AT MY MOM BECAUSE SHE THREW IT AWAY!

I know that's a horrible thing to say but thats exactly what i want to do.

I want to fling shit at myself actually.

Omg omg omg what to do? God I beg you to somehow help me make things right

I already fished te dam list from the trash once and im not doin jt gain. Especially not if its asked in ih rotten food but i m really desperate....

Fears

Everybody got fears right? I got millions of fears so I thought I could list my top 3.

1. Fear of failing in life.
This is why I'm so obsessed about figuring out the future. Oh update! I'm also considering opening my own business.

Anyway, I'm mildly competitive and when I become mildly competitive, I get mean. Lol, and its not even my self evaluation eh! People actually tell me upfront that I am a bitch in competitions which I take seriously.

So I actually get competitive with my cousins because I want to be the best among them but its not easy. They are the kind people that go to Europe and other famous oversees places to study... on scholarship some more! Becoming engineers and such how to beat? By becoming smarter and richer of course! Wadafa.

Have to beat have to beat have to beat have to win have to win have to win.

2. Fear of criticism.
When I do something or meet people or talk to a large group of people and I'm feeling particularly unconfident that day, I'd spend the whole day thinking if people are criticising me.

But now I know, that the person who critisizes me is myself and if people to critisize me, then its constructive criticism.

But I'd still blog crap about them if they critisize me lol.

3. Fear of rejection.
I've only confessed my feelings to one boy in my life and got rejected ngaw. But nevermind! It doesn't matter. It's great blogging substance lol.

I also fear being rejected like when I lose in some competitions but nevermind la, failure is the first step to success and often is the hardest step to get by. And its nice to know that I'm on my way up the ladder :D

Learn from failure and all that right?