Faith In Humanity... and Dragon Age

 

This video made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. And I hope it'll make you feel warm and fuzzy too!

FAITH IN HUMANITY RESTORED!

I don't really experience much compassion from strangers before.

Like when I first started my swimming lessons, I idiotically and unknowingly commited suicide by jumping into the deep part of the swimming pool and I don't know why, but I sank to the bottom. I don't know if that is possible in matters of physics (the sinking part), but that was my memory of it. So either nobody saw a little girl in a purple tutu swimsuit jump into the pool and didn't float back up, or nobody cared enough to help. Anyway, happy ending, my dad saw me and stuck his hand into the pool which I grabbed and he pulled me up. Thankfully, I wasn't traumatised of swimming. So, lesson learnt.

And there was this one case where an old woman was asking for help and nobody wanted to help her. Sad no? Until a young man helped her cross the road, sparing his time and energy and compassion to help her. Sweet? Then the old woman sued him for molesting her in order to get money. I don't know who the good guy is in this story though. Up to you to decide.

But I do know a little bit compassion.

Like when I was a little girl (again) and I lost one of my colour pencils, and my teacher made the whole class search for it.

And when I got lost as a little girl (again) because the lift closed a little too early and I got separated from the rest of my family in Centre Point and I was all alone in this basement. Until two men came along and just walked past me!! But I said with a tremor in my voice that I was lost and they helped me find my mom. I'll just take that as compassion.

Now that I think about it, most of my deep crap moments are when I was a little girl. Not to say that I never experience deep crap moments now, I do. Like that time I accidentally sent a teacher's laptop crashing to the floor.

On a completely different topic, I am spending my mornings playing computer games!

Right now I am waiting for Big Brother to go to sleep so I can steal his laptop away. I have been waiting since 2 am and its 3.40 am now!!!

*8 hours later*

Okay, I'm done playing Dragon Age 2 for now. I did take a couple hours of break in between, okay.

I sort of finished the first Dragon Age game a few days ago. And I say sort of because I got heartbroken by a fictional character and am too pissed off to see that ass' face again. And all because I made him king and he can't marry me because I am a commoner. Oh well, let the ugly darkspawn (thats what the monsters are called in the game) eat him.

 

 

I even found a gif of him breaking up with my character!!

I can't believe that I am sad because a character out of a game broke up with me. Well, thats the only lovey dovey action I'm gonna get for now. Haha.

Anyway, now I have moved on! Because in Dragon Age 2 (the sequel.. obviously) there is another character called Fenris.


 

As you can see from the ears, he is an elf. Wadafa.

 
Much, much better than Alistair.

Hahaha, say hello to my new fantasy crush. Screw you Alistair!!! Have fun ruling your bloody kingdom I gave you!!

Geez, am I really going on about my fictional crushes?

Yikes, I need to get out more often.

No you know what?

I like being single! And delusional! And a teeny tiny bit psycho.

*slither back to laptop to continue playing....


**Update**

Ok so lets set something straight....Alistair slept w/ dogs, was left to rot at the chantry, was told he was a nothing better than a bastard, and no one but Duncan was nice to him....then my super hot Dalish elf comes along.....Yeah she has a chip on her shoulder because humans treat her kind like a second class citizen....maybe being treated like crap is something they have in common....Alistair is so scarred to lead, that he puts my chick in front and forces her to take charge...She deals w/ the teams constant complaining....treason in some cases.....but manages to keep everyone in line and save there ass in every quest...She saves the family that gave Alistair every personlity disorder he has....She tells him "I like you for you, not for you blood".....She holds his hand when his hopes of having a family are crushed by his materialistic **** sister......He watches as the one he so called "loves" saves the world.....puts kings on thrones....and makes sure every team members personal life is sorted out....did I mention he watched as she jumped on top of a dragon and slayed the shapshifter Flemeth?....then comes the landsmeet.....she is willing to forgive Logain his treachery, enslavement of her people, and constant assasination attempts, but instead gives her "love" the justice he seeks for a dead brother he never had a relationship with, and for poisoning a man that treated a little boy as a duty w/ out reverance to his feelings or personal trials.....but most of all she gave Alstair justice for Duncan.....then after telling him over and over that he will make a good king she places him on the throne....Then what does he do?....he says she's not a noble and cant be his wife....then he storms in and tells her ( in front of EVERYONE) that she cant make babies and suddenly everything that he always scoffed at and never wanted is so important that they cant have a happy ending unless she wants to be whore.....hmmm.....Who cares about Blood now?.....Logain was right....Alistair is Emmon's puppet.....and Morrigan you were right....He's a complete Idiot...

Wahahahhaah!!! I found this in a forum when I typed Alistair is an asshole. Made me laugh!!

Breaking Dawn, Part 2

Wahahahhaha!!!! This was funny.

I watched Breaking Dawn Part 2 today!!! I was so ready to mindlessly hate it (Robert Pattinson's quote) but I ended up loving it!

I won't ruin it for you if you haven't seen it, so highlight the text if you don't mind spoilers.

Kristen Stewart got better at acting!
When I watched the first twilight movie, I kept on vomiting inside my mouth out of frustration of her lack of expressions. But now I guess there are more expressions to potray and I love it! You can definitely understand when things are supposed to be funny or sad or sarcastic.

Couldn't say the same for Edward though. He sucked.

The plot isn't the same as the book!!!! How can? I like it!
When Carlisle died, I was horrified and upset. How can you kill off the kindest man in the book?!! How dare they? Then when Jasper died, I was on the edge of my seat! And when Seth was crushed, my mouth hung open. Then when Jane was literally thrown to the wolves, I was smiling in glee. Hehe, screw you Jane!

But then it turned out that all the killing and dying was just Alice's vision. Haha, got me there! I love it! Its not the same as the book and that's a nice change.

I hated the sex/kissing scenes.
I'd rather they put more effort on the plot than waste precious minutes on Edward and Bella kissing. Seriously, we get it! They love each other to death. And its just glimpses of skin here and there, its so frustrating! Its useless to put such things in an otherwise great movie! And its awkward how my mom is just sitting next to me. Its also awkward to know the amount of couples making out in the theatre.

But I loved watching all the beautiful vampires! Its so fun to see their face structure and figure out what makes them so beautiful.

Dakota Fanning was a good actress in the movie too. She didn't say much, but I hated Jane. I was so happy when Alice killed her.

But it was such a nice twist to the whole thing! ITS SO OVERRATED THAT IT IS NOW UNDERRATED!!! GENIUS OR NOT?!

You win this time director!

So yeah, I loved it! Best twilight movie ever! I know how people say its gay or whatever and I agree for the second, third and fourth movie. But this is different! It made the whole audience go gasp!

But I'd rather watch the movie by myself at home. These people in the cinema are so easily humored. They laugh at leaves falling... seriously.

So I'll definitely buy the DVD and watch it by myself at home while eating maggi. Yeah, thatll be nice and undistracting.

I FRIGGIN LOVE SHOPPING RAWRRRR!

Aaaah, balance to the world has been restored for I have gone shopping!

On Sunday, after church I went to City Mall with Mia, my cousin and our aunt. I only brought RM 20 because I am strictly not going to spend like a maniac anymore. So all I bought was Vaseline which costs RM 4.50 and 2 pairs of earrings for my mom's birthday which costs RM 13.

I really love sparkly rhinestones. But my ears aren't pierced so I don't buy earrings which is just as well because if I did, they'd be all over the house.

And then Mia bought me some croissants! I have never eaten one before this and it was like heaven singing inside my mouth. Its only RM 5 for 5 pieces but the guy selling them was so nice, he gave us an extra one so each of us can have 3!! Just the advantages of being cute, hehe.

And I saw lots of my friends on City Mall but couldn't be bothered to walk over and say hi because I'm lazy like that. And shy, but mostly lazy.

Then we bought a cake which the best aunt in the world paid for and we went back home.

At home, I savoured my croissants and Mia taught me to play the guitar! Right now, I'm learning how to play Safe and Sound by Taylor Swift and I think I'm getting the hang of it. But still kinda noob la of course because I don't have the dedication to practice.

It hasn't been a couple of hours when my aunt asked us if we wanted to go to 1 Borneo. Are you kidding me, YES! And this time, the beast inside me came out and I brought RM 200 out. I have no self control T__T

But thats okay, I didn't even spend up to RM 20!

I spent RM 5.50 for some peppermint milky tea and waffles and RM 8.70 for a pastel pink nail polish from Etude House and thats it! I was very very very tempted to buy some useless crap but I held my ground and my pockets didn't pay the price (punny or not?).

I love it! But I took it off after a while because I wanna wait for my nails to grow out a little bit more.

Then we were going home and just happened to pass VOIR where there is a huge sale up to 70% off!!! AMAZING OR AMAZING??

The last time I went to the VOIR sale, Caroline and Carlin bought a pair of mint green shorts for RM 40 or 50. And I remember the feeling of green envy over these mint green shorts (I am so punny today) and of course I don't want to miss the oppurtunity again.

So I searched for some pastel pink pants, long pants so I can where them to church and I found one hot pink pants that costs RM 120 and it is only on a 50% discount. So that is still RM 60... Then I found a pastel pink one but it had no price tag on it so I assumed it was very, very expensive because thats their tactic, you see. You expect it to be an 'okay' price and only find out about the ridiculous price at the counter. By then, your girly pride and ego wouldn't want to be shamed so you buy it anyway. Or maybe thats just me.

Then I searched and searched and searched FOR 3 HOURS for other clothing that would take my mind off of those pair pink pants and to no avail... it seems nothing can calm my raging thirst for it.

In the end, just as we were going to pay, I gave in and snatched the second last pair of pastel pink pants. And at the counter I found out it was only around RM 100! So that is RM 50, because it was 50% off. NOPE LOL. It was 70% off that day because it was the last day of the sale! *jumpinjoy

 

I LOVE IT SO MUCH!!!

Then we went home, ate cake and I did my nails and went to sleep.

Seeing, the cake makes me wanna eat more. It's cheesecake with cranberry and strawberries on top. The price is ridiculous for a cake, I won't even mention it.

Songs For My Funeral

Songs for my funeral :

Fuck You by Lily Allen for all the people I hate in life. Like A#1, some of my teachers, ants, hot weather and probably some people who were mean to me. This song should be the first one played as the last laugh by me! "Hahaha, its great to be away from you suckers!!" would be the message I'll convey. "Don't keep in touch"

Gomenasai by T.A.T.U for all my friends that I've been unfair to. I don't have any feuds with friends right now (thank God) but maybe some people out there might have a misconception of our friendship. And I would be very scared in the afterlife I'd imagine. So its always less scary with friends"Gomenasai till the end. I never needed a friend like I do now"

Thank You For Loving Me by Bon Jovi for my family! Because despite the teasing and mean things, there are more of the good things than bad. Like a 1:2 ratio. "When I couldn't fly, oh you gave me wings"

This Is Where I Belong by Bryan Adams because I hope I'll be buried here in Sabah. If I'm gonna fertilise any soil with my rotting body, it better be Sabahan soil!  "Under the starry skies, where eagles have flown. This place is paradise, its the place I call home." "Cause everything I want is everything thats here"

And of course, there should be a gospel song, right? And that would be Come Holy Spirit Fall On Me Now. This is my favorite song and I heard it once in Joy Club when I was 8 and I loved it ever since!

 

There would be no songs for my "significant other" (ew) because I have no "significant other". Ew ew ew, I can't find any word for boyfriend that wouldn't sound so disgusting. And coincientally, my favorite lines of each songs are on the preview of the vid.

 

 

By the way, I'm not dying. I did this just for giggles.

Itchy Skin

I've just finished reading a book called For Darkness Shows The Stars by Diana Peterfeund. 3 stars. It didn't make me go *gasp!!!* except for the ending but it did have a nice twist!

Anyway, I was staring at the cover and I hated how flawless the girl on the cover of the book was. I just want to strangle that bloody skinny neck of hers and curse her for being so bloody perfect!

Which made me self conscious of my skin again. My darn bumpy, rough skin... sigh.

Which reminds me, a few days ago, I sitting around at my grandparent's home, when the biggest itch overcame me. It was like my whole body was being infested with lice and all my sensitive parts were itching like mad. So I took a bath for half an hour, scrubbing every crook and crany of my body with soap. Then rinsing. Then scrubbing myself all over again. I scrubbed for so long that my mom thought I died in there.

But alas, my grandparent's bathroom isn't the cleanest bathroom ever so no amount of scrubbing would make me feel thoroughly clean.

When I came out, my mom panicked a little because my skin was horribly red and bumpy. So, home I went with my dad and everything got a little better.

But then a few days ago, I was cleaning the store room and the itchiness came back, itchier than ever. I bathed 3 times and I still felt like my skin was infested with little bugs crawling around me and I shed a few tears. Geez, just remembering it makes my skin crawl.

So, I told my mom about it and we went to the pharmacy and bought a cream and pill for it. Apparently though, I was allergic to dust. Can you imagine it, DUST!! One of the most common things in the world. But all is well now that I have my pill and cream, yay!

But the damage has been done to my skin. Bloody scabs everywhere, its scary! And I'm still feeling itchy!

My face especially is horrific! Its red and bumpy and dry and I don't wanna put any facial products anymore because I'm scared it will cause further damage...

Which makes me think about giving away my beauty products for the price of RM 2 each and mind you, Most of the original price is like RM 50 ++. But I haven't decided yet la, becauseI'm afraid someone will get infected with what I have.

And currently, my family is going through some decluttering! So, I also want to sell my clothes for RM 2! I just gotta figure out how to ship it out and how to transfer money first, but that should be easy right? Haha, its still all talk and no doing. This plan of mine might not even be carried out. But it seems like such a shame to throw my clothes away! It feels like Toy Story 3 where Andy is throwing his toys away. Speaking of Toy Story 3, maybe I should just donate the clothes.

I'm Really Sad

I'm really really sad....

Because my dad scolded me for something I didn't do again.

I was happily starting eating my chicken rice which was damn yummy, when my dad came through the door and said to me..

Dad : Snap your fingers.
Me : *confused *snaps fingers
Dad : Did 20 cents come out? No kan. Pick up the 20 cents outside.

Then I went outside to search for the 20 cents.. search... search and search....

If Big Brother hadn't helped me search, I would've been there forever.

So I found the 20 cents and went to the kitchen to wash my hands and went back to the table.

I tried to eat a bite but my lips were already quivering so I took my plate, which was still full of chicken rice and dumped it in the trash.

Then I went up to wite this blog post because I feel like my dad hates me now because he's been really mean to me lately and I don't know why and I really wanna cry but I'm scared he will hear me and then scold me again.

But then I heard him being really nice to my little brother and I can't help feeling that its something I did that is wrong.

Or maybe I'm just being overly sensitive again.

Haiya, I really hope things like this will pass.

Boohoo emo posts begone lol.

As A Little Me

I was having dinner just now when my mum suddenly exclaimed what an adorable child I was, which I could do nothing else but agree.

So here are facts of Little Me.

When my little brother was a baby, I used to point my finger at his mouth and giggle every time he opens it. Then I would scream, 'Mummyyyyy! Baby wanna eat already!!' Then I would turn to my baby brother and say, 'Eat this first....' while stuffing a blanket into his mouth.

I used to be really gullible! My cousins used to say how a turkey makes the sound 'Turkey!' And not just simple clucking like a chicken.

And one day, my cousin and I was taking a walk, and we passed an unfruitful durian tree. She said that my uncle married two durian trees and the husband durian told the wife durian to not have children, so that's why te were unfruitful.

My mom told me women gave birth through the navel.... which I believed till I was 9 years old maybe.

When I was five years old, I swallowed a coin because I thought that it was cold so it was really yummy.

I found out about how people reproduce at the age of 11 when I asked my PJK teacher.

I wrote the same date everyday for my Chinese exercise books when I was in kindergarten. Seriously... I don't know what my mother was thinking to send me to a Chinese kindergarten. My English and Malay was bad and then have to learn Chinese again? All I knew then was 'wo ai ni'.

I used to go outside at night sitting beside the pond, under the mango trees at my old house. My family said that that was my creepy, melancholic phase.

I used to run outside to greet my sister when she came back from school by bus everyday.

I used to wear dresses! There was this dress my mom made and I really loved it. It was blue and white checkered.

I loved people touching my hair! So I always insisted that my aunt, cousin, sister or mother braid my had into small single braids just to prolong the grooming.

I was obsessed with colour pencils and I loved colouring. I used to spend hours just so that I colour only inside the lines. There's just something really fun about colouring.

I loved to make chains out of flowers.

You know how Asian children have gone through the Asian hairstylesio like the wok or bowl or helmet hairstyle? Well, I did when I was 5 years old. When I first went to a Chinese kindergarten.

I have been using the same blanket since I was 5 years old that the best aunt in the world hand stiched for me.



I had an over abundance of creativity that I developed a way of naming my pets. Meow Putih, Meow Hitam, Meow Kuning, Meow Kelabu, Fifi, and Fufu. And there was a phase where I adored Twilight and named two hamsters Carlisle and Esme. And there was also a hamster named Neo based on the movie Matrix but I ended up calling him Hammie anyway. Oh ya, and my most recent pet is a fish named Caramel.



Whenever we had art in class, I always drew a sunflower or a butterfly. And I remembered at Standard 1 I had straight A's, except for art.

I used to avoid vegetables at all costs. But now I love them because I always imagine the good they will do to my overall beauty!

I used to pretend I was a mermaid and pretended that I was swimming on the floor.

Big Sister used to say that I had fleas and bluffed me by pretending to kill them on my head. And I loved the feeling of people touching my head so I demanded that she do it while I am bathing everyday. Even when she finally told me that I didn't have fleas, I still wanted her to kill fleas on my head.

I liked to chase chickens and when I finally did catch one, I didn't want to let it go and cried when it slipped away.

I had fun playing Paint at my old PC.

My favorite pastime was either playing Snakes on my moms hand phone or catching fishes in the pond in my backyard.

I used to marvel at the stars back at my kampung and shone a flahslight to it to see it clearer. Then a man said that God would be angry if I did that so I cried and ran to my mum.

I used to hate taking a bath and back then, we didn't have a shower, just a pipe. So I took some baby powder and applied it all over my skin especially my leg. And I applied it for maybe half an hour until my leg bled. Yikes.

I used to put an empty fish bowl in my dining room and wrote 'Crystal's Money' and my dad filled it up everyday. I was so happy whenever he did!

With no internet or computer or phone, I had a lot of free time as a child. So I spent it reading a Childscraft book collection. And most of the things I read there I learnt in Form 2 like photosynthesis and Inertia. So all the things I read about at the age of 5 was not in vain after all!

Ahh, I really loved my Childscraft books. Especially the History book. Surprisingly.

And there are many more that I can think of probably but I'm too lazy to even do that now.

Omegling

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You and the stranger both like books.

You: oh hey!

Stranger: Hey

You: finally someone who likes books.

Stranger: How's the day stranger?

Stranger: same feeling!

You: quite uneventful I must say.

You: How about you?

Stranger: We might be living in parallel spaces I must say

Stranger: For its the same for mw

Stranger: And one thing before we talk

You: Mmmhm?

Stranger: My responses might be a bit slow as I have a horribly slow net connection

You: Haha, no problem cause my laptop is spazzing too.

Stranger: Name a book that comes to your mind..now!

You: Harry Potter Book 1

You: Thats the first thing.

Stranger: I say cloud atlas

Stranger: Ha.nice choice

Stranger: I like book 3 the beat though

Stranger: Best*

Stranger: Wonderfully crafted that one

You: Yeap, agreed

You: Okay name your top 3 best books.

Stranger: Oliver twist

Stranger: Harry potter series

Stranger: And wait..id like to sneak in sharp objects too

Stranger: By Gillian flynn

Stranger: And you?

You: I've only read one of the books you listed T_T

You: The Harry Potter series.

You: Northern Lights

Stranger: better that way..we can give each other more recommendations that aren't common.. :)

Stranger: name your top there books atramger

You: haha true. and i liked the hunger games

Stranger: .stranger*

Stranger: ;)

Stranger: if you have a name thatd help ye know

You: Haha, okay. Its Crystal.

Stranger: Okay crystal. I like hunger games..

Stranger: Nice series

You: oh, you can visit my blog. http://purcrystally.blogspot.com/

You: whats your name?

Stranger: I'm venky btw

You: where from?

Stranger: Visit mine at venkatiyer2007.blogspot

Stranger: .com

Stranger: India

Stranger: You?

You: ah, we're 'almost' neighbours. Malaysia.

Stranger: Hello crystal you there?

Stranger: Ahh

You: oh sory yeap, just checking out your blog.

Stranger: Always wanted to be there once

Stranger: Kuala Lumpur!

You: haha, well yeah but im far away from there.

Stranger: im doing the same too

You: im in the bornean island, sabah.

Stranger: Okay..will google itnout

Stranger: It out*

Stranger: I'm reading this post of yours..'A letter'

Stranger: Pretty good I must say

You: Hahaha, thanks.

Stranger: I hope your laptop doesn't shut down by itself today though

Stranger: .;)

You: It better not! I'm writing a paper.

You: So, what are you doing now?

Stranger: Ahh..you a student?

You: yeah, im 16. u?

Stranger: 21

Stranger: I read your past 4 years of my lifetime

Stranger: Good again

Stranger: You introspect a lot

Stranger: That's very goos

Stranger: good*

Stranger: Youl be successful crystal

Stranger: And you seem optimistic

You: ahh, thanks venky!!

Stranger: Don't think im judgemental

Stranger:

Stranger: Just my views..:)

You: hahaha, thats fine, really! :D

Stranger: Read any of my posts?

You: yeap, but its so... deep. i dont really understand it. im a really shallow person.

You: but i think its really interesting.

Stranger: I think you're more deeper than you think you are

Stranger: I don't know..just your posts

Stranger: Made me feel so

Stranger: But it's better to be shallow ye know..we remain happy that way

Stranger: crystal you there?

You: aww, haha thats more compliments than anyone has given me.

You: Thank you!

You: Did you write the poetry yourself?

Stranger: I've to go now. Work..:( Nice talking to you..i hope we shall chat sometime soon..even when you grow older, stay as you are crystal

Stranger: You have a good heart

Stranger: You might feel im just a stranger trying to flirt but then I dont know why im telling this to you

Stranger: Yup

Stranger: my poetry..:)

You: its beautiful. :)

Stranger: Thanks crystal

Stranger: I shall read more of your posts soon..,:)

You: bye venky. haha, i'll make sure to credit you when i rule the world.

Stranger: I'm vencuts on twitter

You: haha, alright! i'll follow you then. and on blogger too.

Stranger: Real nice talking to you. All the best

You: You too! :D

Stranger: Haha..one post among the 100 should be this conversation..;)

Stranger: Kidding..;) Cya crystal

You: maybe i'll post it ;D keep reading me then.

Stranger: I will..:D

Stranger: Bye bye

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

I Am Genuinely Happy With My Life

Have you ever felt that feeling when you're genuinely happy with life? Like you go to sleep at night looking forward to the next day? Then you look around you and you just think, I'm SO BLOODY HAPPY!!!!

Because thats how I feel right now!

I mean, I've got pretty clothes, quite a nice family, everything I could want in life and thats pretty awesome for me.

A lot of people I see around me are just overall having a shitty time but the way I see it, its for the silliest things.


Ehem.

Happiness does exist.

Fun does exist.

Freedom does exist.

Maybe this asian was particularly emo in that post but, lets just say.

Anyway, I find happiness when I concentrate more on what I have rather than what I want. And when I think all of these things that I have, it makes me realise that I don't really need the things that I want.

One day, a grandfather told his grandson that there are two wolves that are constantly battling each other inside of us. One of the is called UNHAPPINESS (resentment, hatred, jealousy) and the other is called HAPPINESS (love, compassion, gratitude). So the grandson asked, "Which one wins?" And the grandfather replied, "The one you feed."
 

So let go of the negative thoughts that you have lurking around because they just may not be true about yourself. Be happy with what you have, be GRATEFUL. If you're never grateful, then you'll never be happy with what you have because you'll always be wanting MORE MORE MORE.

I try to always remember that nobody owes me anything. Every good deed that people have done for me is something that I should remember all my life. Every good deed I have done for people shouldn't be expected to be returned, and if theres anything is to return is that they made me happy because I am always happy whenever I do something nice willingly.

Sometimes, you hate your parents. They could have easily chosen not to have you when you were a baby, and they could just as easily kick you out into the cold night. They could easily let you starve. They could easily clothe you in rags. If they did none of the above, call Child Services lol. But people keep on dwelling on the things the parents don't let them have they forgot all the things their parents did give them.

This may be weird, but I got slightly worried that my dad doesn't care about me when he didn't get mad at me on my results, but then, I thought nah, he just has confidence in me lol. Sorry for the digression.

And I think its amazing how much we all want to be accepted into society. Like if someone out there doesn't like us, the world would stop turning and we would all die. Now I know that that is bullshit. Its really easier to accept that not everybody will love you right? And so many of us dwell on our haters more than the people who love us. So why not take all these haters and put them in a dark corner where they belong and put the people who love us on a mantlepiece?

So don't worry about things that won't change even if you worry. Don't worry that it will rain. Don't worry that you're ugly. Don't worry that theres something stuck between your tooth. Don't worry that people won't like you. Don't worry because these negative thoughts will destroy you. Besides, these thoughts are often false anyway.

Basically live by the saying, don't worry, be happy!

Lol, this wasn't supposed to be a useful post so I'll stop now because I have absolutely no idea what I'm saying anymore. And who the hell do I think I am telling you how to be happy. Different people have different kinds of happiness right?

My Crushes Eyes

Because I have nothing better to do. So expect a LOT of posts this month and the next.

OH OH!

I CHALLENGE MYSELF TO PUT UP 100 POSTS THIS MONTH!

Hahaha, f my followers life.

Okay, the first challenge is...

*drumroll please...

My crushes eyes!

He had such quiet eyes.... lol no.

Okay, he has those kind of eyes that just smoulder you into ashes.

He has light coloured eyes which seems to change shades depending on his mood.

His eyes are free of make up because boys who wear make up freaks me out.

His eyes are soft and relaxed so it has a homey feel to it. And because soft eyes will automatically make me feel relaxed too, it helps me in times of stress. Rather than stricken eyes that people have when they're scared.

He knows how to wink with his eyes.

Okay, he has a glint in his eyes, just a bit because too soft can be boring also.

His eyes could hold eye contact and not be so shifty.

His eyes are expressive. Like you know how the eyes roll when someone gets expensive or gets squinty when someone laughs or gets huge when someone is sursprised? Yeah, like that.

I don't know how to explain it but his eyes can smile.

Timeline of Myself

 Timeline of the last 4 years of me.

Age 13

This is the second outing of my life where I could bring RM 20 and its already enough. Ugh, look at my chubby cheeks... Actually, now my cheeks are still chubby, but not as chubby. I've lost some of the chubbiness I hope.

 

Age 14.

Ooooh model? Puh-lease. Unattractive at the age of 14.

 

Age 15.

Ahh, a  bit better. This is back when my skin was in okay condition but the acne was just starting between my eyebrows. Now I know that the cause of acne between the eyebrows are rich food so thats cured but my forehead is being a bitch. But my eyebrows are so... ungroomed here!! Oh Lord...

Age 16

 

I did my eyerows but my skin is "thumbs down". I started wearing more make up. In this pic I wore brown eyeliner and some brown eyeshadow but my powder looks cakey especially in the under eye area. But at least theres no dark rings. And I finally did my eyebrows!!! Though at this time, I didn't know the existence of eyebrow pencil hence the "too thin and light" eyebrows. But its okay now, I think. And I finally, FINALLY, got a fringe, which I can't imagine my life without now.

 

 

So yes, I believe I am getting better along the years though by not much. But at least some.

 

And none of these pictures are photoshopped... unfortunately.

Cool Things I've Become

School has ended for the year and it was a pretty hectic school year.

Become a blogger (by starting a blog)
Which is probably the best hobby I have ever had! Through blogging, I have something to do each day, and I can never forget the things that has happened to me so yes, very grateful to the person who invented blogging! Cheers to him or her!

Be a businesswoman
I became this during the school bazaar and I learnt that to get what you want, you have to be friendly and super polite.

Become an actress (drama team)
Which probably resulted in my bad results but if I had to do it all over again, I would. It was so much fun with my seniors and my friends! When it was over, I felt like there was no meaning to life lol. But this has taught me to treasure every single moment of happiness.

Just bitches being bitches.

Left to right : Sarah, Natalie, Kim, Me

Sarah and Natalie are supposed to be the excited, OMG, happy go lucky people, and Kim and I were supposed to be the cool, confident, I don't care, I've won already types.

 

My eyes were either closed or half closed in half the pictures, I don't know whats my problem.

 

Become an inventor (Sindex)
Honestly, when I joined, it was just for the fun of it and not winning. We weren't serious in planning anything but wait, we were one of the winners! And if you judge by the project, I think my group's project won most of the prizes hehe. But then I didn't get chosen for KOREA. Boohoo. this taught me that a small decision can affect the biggest part in your life. Like, joining SINDEX was a small decision but we're now bringing our project to Korea!

And here I am trying to make some decorations for our booth. I made the mushrooms and the card soldier and Ben wanted to help but I screamed "NO!!!" because I wanted it to be the way I want it lol okay I'll shuddup now.

Become an addict (shopaholic)
Last year, I wasn't this fanatic in shopping! I dressed really ugly and my shoes! I wish I could just take those ugly memories away! This taught me to dress like you're meeting your worse enemy.

Become a singer (by singing Les Miz all day long)
Which resulted in Sarah and Frieda falling in love with them too!

Become a badass (by being called to the principal's office)
Not really. Because I am such a good student and they told me I had a chance to go to Korea. What a dork I am.

Become a dumb blond
No bloody lie, I have some blonde strands of hair! So combine that with a bad academic record for the year and you have a dumb blonde named Crystal! Okay, I wanna be a smart Asian again now please...

Become a surgeon
I disected some really unfortunate frogs, which were crudely named after the most hated person by me! Haha, felt really good to do that! Anyway, I am now, a surgeon!

I really hope you weren't eating or drinking anything just as you saw the picture. If you did then...

 

Become a director (in choral speaking)

I tried not to be too harsh, and tried to be the laid back, encouraging kind of director. But then I ended up getting trampled on, so next time, I'll try to be a little more uh... "more".

 

Become a librarian

Though a very irresponsible one. I think I may want to quit being a librarian next year.

And that, I think are all the cool things I have transformed into through the whole school year! Ahh, quite a fulfilling year, no? Well, for me, it bloody is! I really loved my classmatates, the people I got to know and the people I got to know better.

All the mistakes I've done this year made me become who I am right now, and I quite bloody like who I am now! *sparkle

Bloody

Today, I watched Skyfall.

And I know lots of people haven't seen it (faster go!!) so I'll just be very vague about it.

James Bond is so classy, it makes me want to risk my life and be a spy too so I can be just as classy!

If I were a spy, I would be wearing a little black dress, and whenever theres an explosion, I'll just walk away, act all cool and maybe just flip my hair, OMG this is so fun to imagine! Then I'll have a sidekick of course and HE, it has to be a guy, will be really reliable and saving my bloody arse all the time. He won't be too muscly, but just the right combination between lean and buff.... and witty, witty is a must. And he must wear a tuxedo.

Anyway, James Bond is the classiest hero ever! But the other people... well, they can go die if they want to. Except for James Bond's housekeeper. His chubbiness is bloody adorable!

By the way, my new curse word is bloody now. But I would probably use it in the wrong context.

Skyfall has taught me to always stay to the left sight of the escalator, because James Bond might be running to catch a guy.. or so my dad says.

Today, I became a bloody bitch of a daughter because my mother bought me a type of pill that supposedly was going to cure my skin, but I got mad at her because it costs a bloody RM 70 or something. BLOODY *$%#!!

I'm still pretty pissed because I think my skin will heal on its own and theres no need to bring some troublesome pills into it. Very very pissed eh! I'm still pissed on the Oxygen shit that I bought which doesn't bloody work.

Yes this. What a waste of my bloody RM 200!!!!!

 

Wait, why should I care? Its not even my money for the pills. But the bloody Casmara was my money! Stupid crap full of lies!

Okay, I'll try the pills. Actually its just some vitamins. Then she bought some concealer thing thats supposedly will make them disappear. Which I think is just bloody LIES! LIES LIES LIES LIES TELLING ME THAT I WILL BE KOREAN SKIN WORTHY IF I USE THAT! BULLSHIT!

But we won't know if it is truly a miracle worker until we try it so... we shall see in a month.

I hope they won't let me down! Cross my fingers!

 

I also bought the cutest notebook ever and a book called The Time of My Life by Cecelia Ahern. 30% off!!!! I love stuff that is on sale.

Next thing on my shopping list is the Hada Labo whitening skincare range! I know this one works because my friend, Jessica tried it and her skin is super korean worthy! *shiny eyes

 

Maybe just the cleanser will be enough for me already so I'll buy that as soon as I can!

 

Today, I got my results of the year and something shocked me... my weight was 49kg?!

 

How can this happen??? I can bloody tell you right now that I am a 42.8kg girl and I am 156cm tall, not 160cm as my teacher says! How can how can how can???

 

Lies once again. *heart bleeds

 

And my kokum marks were a disappointing B.... which is a bloody bullshit evaluation of my activeness in kokum because I'm very active!

 

And then my academic marks... were well, not so good either.

 

But everything went okay. My dad didn't get angry or anything, just told me to deactivate my facebook account which I can easily, willingly do... next year.

 

Today, I am grateful for :

Having such understanding parents.

Getting to watch Skyfall.

Having a generous Daddy (he paid for all the stuff we bought today. My stuff being around RM 200, a small portion of the random shiz we all got)

Having a caring Mommy. Since she bought me the skincare stuff.

Having a protective Big Brother. Since he followed me around like a stalker because he was scareed that some dirty old men would disturb me.

 

And with that, I am going to swallow my pride and apologize to my mom for being a bloody brat.

 

 

 

 

 





Dear November

Dear November,

You left me after 30 short days last year and now you're back again? Tsk tsk...

I hope you will treat me kind because you're my holiday month! I think this may be the month I get my first job?

My first job! I hope it may be something beauty related and fun and pink! But then if its beauty related, I have to be beautiful first too. Who wants to take beauty advice from an acne ridden girl, right?

So for November, I will put my heart and soul into beauty!


Its been a while since I put some photos of myself.

 

Original pic. With my dark skin, fat face, yucky blemishes, small eyes, uncute nose, rough skin... I like my eyebrows though!

 

 

After photoshop.

 

 

If these were twins, which would you date?

  Personally, I'd date the one on the right, lol. I like my natural face. And by natural, I mean with makeup, but no photoshop.

 

 But my skin! I would definitely want my skin to be like in the photoshop version.. fair and smooth and even.