Happy New Year!

Its the last day of 2013!!! I feel like 2013 dragged by soooooooo slowly, BUT! I had so much fun this year! It was full of stress and worries (SPM) and disappointments (failed subjects*cringe*) and happiness (friends and family ^^) and stupidity (myself lol).

Aw man, I'll really miss school though. Before this, it was always a burden going to school but when I think about it, there were only a few days when I'd be burdened to go to school. Sure la, there were times when I'd be lazy and skipped school because I was lazy but never because I hated school.

It has also been a year since I met the darling of my life.

Mrrroooow. This is him in a good mood. His current name is Sehun (his name is always changing).

And I cut my 4 year old hair again and I totally regret it! It was beautifully long and luscious....

But on one fateful exam week, it just became too stressful for me and I felt like my hair was made of snakes and got in my way too much. So off it went!

I cut it to shoulder lenght at that time and now its a bit longer. Sigh, I will never cut it short again!

<-- That picture was taken exactly 365 days ago. Sigh. Short legs....

My empty class on the absolutely last day of school, when only us EST students were there. I felt so blessed to be in this school! When we had a 3 hour break after the first paper of EST, I walked around and sorta, 'absorbed' everything.

A pic of me with one of my best friends. This is on her (and many others) last day. You don't see it in the picture but my dark circles and pimples are smashing! How does Frieda maintain her skin?!

I think a lot has changed in one year. One obvious thing is my motivation. Last year, I failed 5 SUBJECTS and got no A's and only like, 1 or to B's out of 10 subjects. I couldn't even get an A for english or EST which is ridiculous. Then I didn't even care lol.

But this year, I passed everything except Add Maths (DARN IT!) and even got a few A's! Ok ok, its not very spectacular but progress is what matters! And I've made progress yay!

I've also become more sparing with my money spending, I think. Last year, it was shopping trip almost every weekend. But this year, if I counted my new clothes and makeup, it would be less. I think hehe. This is the kind of thing that I can be very delusional about.

And not to forget! I've also fallen for EXO this year!!! EXO has completely won over my heart and they're on my mind every day for the past three months.

T.T

So pretty!

They're so fashionable, which makes me wanna be fashionable as well!

Oh which reminds me! I've started wearing more dresses. It's a top and bottom at one purchase so my money is well spent lol. *cheapskate Its legit right?

Now, these are my new years resolution. I'll limit them to 5.

1. Continue learning Korean, eventhough its snail paced. It doesn't matter if I'm crawling or running, as long as I keep moving.

2. Get a job!

3. Take better care of my skin!!!! I'm still struggling but between this and and last year, its definitly getting much better.

4. Not be so cheapskate and to put quality over quantity.

5. To be selfless, brave, smart and peace-loving. I'm always finding myself hesitating when it comes to helping others because of stupid reasons like, what if they push away my help and what if I say the wrong thing?

Day #003

What are two habits that you have?

I use sarcasm a lot. I guess some people might be insulted but its not you, its me. My favorite sarcasm phrase is "Geeeeeeeeee, reaaalllllyyyyyy?". And I also have this useless habit of looking at downloads or installation bars as they are moving. Like the youtube buffering bars. I look at that every 3 seconds.

EXO RUMOURS AND I'M A LOSER

I read some rumours about EXO and my love for them declined dramatically.

Then I realised pshfft, whatever, even if it's true, I'll just fall in love with their on screen personalities. But it's so hard to believe that what I'm watching on TV isn't the real them! The on screen them is so funny and close and kind. And the off screen them could be cruel and mean.

Haihhhh someone slap me cause I feel so loserish right now. No cool person would be sad because their favorite celebrities are accused. Or maybe I haven't seen the sun for so long I'm going insane. Or maybe my life is just so boring that my girl hormones are craving drama?

I'll just continue believing that EXO members are perfect haha. *deluded

Here's what the rumours said. It's not so horrible la, haha I kinda laughed at some things but to be honest I was so disheartened when I read this. EXO WHY AM I SO OBSESSED WITH YOU TO THE POINT OF LOSERISM?! The kpop world might be full of deceptions and I'm ok with that.

Yes it's true EXO-M is much closer in relationship than EXO-K. Absolutely true that the Chinese member stick together, because of being bullied and such by other trainees and SM staff.

First, I will go through each member and think of something I can share. There is a lot. Quickly, I will say that none of them are dating now, that is something I do know even now, even though some members may be interested in someone or something like that.

Suho – It's not so true that he's an asshole/douchebag, but he does not have any close friends in EXO. Before in trainee life he trained for quite a while so he considered himself above the others. That is why he also gained leader status, because of past experience. But the other members do not respect his experience that much, because he is not really admirable. He did not debut for a while because he was not ready by the company's judgement, so they see him as more of a failure than experienced. The relationship between Kris is mutual respect, not friendship, and only since EXO was formed. As for dating, he has dated within SM a lot. Many of his girlfriends have since left SM or their career didn't work out for them. He had plastic surgery.

Kai – It's not true anymore that no one in EXO gets along with Kai, but around the time of this year until debut, maybe. It's because Kai got too much attention and the other members felt like they were in the shadow. Also Kai used his friendship with Taemin for status. Taemin/Kai is not just PR friendship as they really are friends since before but since EXO debuted they have not been in contact mostly at all. For most of the other trainees there is a big wall between trainee and debuted idol so many of them were jealous of his ability to do that. Since debut Kai's popularity has gone down so it has humbled him to the other members, truthfully. Many people said Kai has a girlfriend after debut, but he does not. He had a noona girlfriend before debut, but he has had a lot of girlfriends anyway. At his age it's not serious.

D.O – His relationship to the other members is more professional, not friends. He is friendly to staff and such, but he is a private person. Truthfully, he does not get along with everyone. The furthest distance is Chanyeol/Baekhyun, I have seen him be annoyed by them quickly many times. He thought he would be chosen for EXO-M and was surprised when Chen was chosen instead. When he thought that he would be chosen for EXO-M his attitude was good and he was prepared to have a life overseas. His dating life is very private, he keeps it to himself and does not let everyone know what is going on. He has a private circle of neighborhood friends and he still puts them above everything.

Chanyeol – I want to say to his fans to believe what you want. For me, I don't like him. He makes life very difficult for all staff because he does not behave well. In life, he thinks everything is a joke. He's very immature. And he is two-faced! There is one member who he really admires, of course, it's Kris. When he's around Kris he acts so different, like a good child. (Actually, many of the EXO members admire Kris). When Kris is not around he becomes the bad child again. I can't say how I know, but he is racist AND homophobic as well. He really thinks homophobic jokes are funny. As for dating, he did date a trainee everyone knows about, but he cheated on her before. His type is the voluptuous club girl with sexy clothes. He had a lot of plastic surgery.

Baekhyun – He is also not nice. He's so two-faced, who you see on TV is not the real Baekhyun. He gets along with Chanyeol so well because they are the same type, so immature and think everything is a joke. Baekhyun is the coldest to the Chinese trainees, even more than Chanyeol. He is not really close to Tao like they say. He felt sorry for Xiu Min and Chen when they were chosen for EXO-M and to leave Korea, but happy that it wasn't him. He really looks at Chinese as lesser than Korean. As for dating, he says he likes the cute type but it's not true, he likes sexy, well-endowed in the right place type of girls. Between Baekhyun/Chanyeol is a wall between the other members. No one will challenge them because they really gained a lot of popularity since debut and so they help promote EXO. On screen, their personalities are the strongest, but off screen it becomes annoying.

Sehun – I know, everyone is thinking of Lu Han, but it is not true that Sehun is in romantic love with Lu Han. During trainee days, Sehun did not have many friends. Lu Han was the first true friend he made in the company, and Sehun becomes clingy to friends easily. Behind the scenes, he is not easy to get along with. Not because he is mean. He doesn't read the atmosphere very well and he is the most difficult case to make camera-ready because his answers are so short and he is always disinterested. The company noticed Sehun and Lu Han's friendship and used that to film the joint teaser. This is the type of thing the company will watch for, which quality they can emphasize to gain public interest. Since debut, Sehun and Lu Han do not talk as much and Lu Han already made different friends in EXO-M, but Sehun is not very outgoing so he is still a little bit alone, even though he is not disliked. As for dating, he has not had a serious relationship beyond girls in school. I do not think he ever dated within SM.

Kris – Kris is a private person. When he first joined SM as a trainee, he was very motivated and wanted to learn everything, like a child. But he was told before directly by staff that he wasn't good at anything, even up to this year. He thought he wouldn't debut at one point, but he was too scared to quit the company because of the debt he incurred as a trainee would be hard on his family to pay back. I think for him, middle of 2009 is the lowest point in his life. In the past, he had depression and low self-esteem. Even though now he is a celebrity, he has not forgotten that time. He did not start out that way but until the time of EXO's debut, he became a very wise, empathetic person. Sorry if you want to hear bad things about him but he did not do anything bad. Most of his bad points are within himself. This is why the other members really look up to him like an ideal type of guy they want to become. It's not true that he thought he would join EXO-K, actually I do not think he ever considered not being chosen for EXO-M. When EXO is 12, he is the leader. As for dating, yes he had a girlfriend, but sorry I can't tell more. The girl idols who were cold to him when he was a trainee, you can see which ones they are by the way he looks at them now. 

Lay – Lay was a trainee for a long time but he was treated more highly than Kris because of his dance skill, but not equal to the Korean trainees still because he is Chinese and that is considered lower by the other trainees and staff. Lay and Kris are only somewhat close even after knowing each other 4 years, but Lay had the advantage as a trainee whereas Kris was a low trainee and they did not really become very close. Lay became closer to other trainees. When he danced for SHINee, he looked at them as a fan who got to go on stage with their idol, not like a professional from the same company. Lay became closer to Lu Han because Lu Han was also a more advanced trainee than the low trainees (but still under Koreans). Lay is very tied to Chinese culture, but at one point he did want to debut in Korea instead, because Kpop is so popular and the entertainment scene in China is very structured and more humble. As for dating, he dated a Chinese girl for a long time and maintained a long distance relationship. He never dated a Korean girl, or if he did it was not significant.

Lu Han – There are many things I want to fix besides Sehun. He was not a JYP trainee, also he did not join SM in 2008. He came to Korea to become a trainee, yes, but he was stopped by his parents. His parents do oppose him being a celebrity but he will always save face for them and he would never admit it. He is not a bad person, but he did lie to his parents about why he wanted to come to Korea. That's why they called him back home. He returned to Korea in 2010 and that's when he became a trainee. He went through regular auditions like anyone else. I know there is some "evidence" to show he was a trainee since 2008 but it's not true that he was waiting because of SM. SM does not extend enough to make someone wait 2 years to be a trainee. If you are not available at the time then you aren't a trainee. He does make friends easily, but he is always especially nice to the person who has the most trouble fitting in, like Sehun in Korea or Xiu Min in China. He can't stand to see someone left out or ostracized. He is also close to Lay, but not in the same way. They are truly just like bros. Lu Han really admires Kris, even though he does not show it on screen. As for dating, you couldn't believe it with his face but he is always being dumped. He says he likes quiet and calm girls, but from what I have seen, it's actually the opposite. He will be attracted to girls others would consider challenging. It is true that he almost had plastic surgery on his nose.Oh, I want to say one thing about the scars on his face. It's from a fight. He is not violent himself but he does end up as the victim of fights, because he is small and an easy target. The fight was very cold, because the other guy purposefully wanted to mess up his face. And it's not true he wasn't bullied as a trainee. In fact, other trainees did harass him sometimes. He blames lots of things on himself, which is sad.

Tao – It is true that many of the trainees didn't like Tao. Tao is confident in himself, but he is also so warm and nice that it was sad to watch. Before EXO, out of all the trainees Kris and Tao were considered the lowest. Lu Han and Lay were above them, and then the Koreans above Lu Han and Lay. So, they are especially close, although after debut now that they are all equals their relationships are changing a little. Also, it is not true that Tao smokes or drinks, it's the opposite. He treats his body very well because of his martial arts practice. When he first became a trainee, he would always buy Starbucks, because in China to drink Starbucks is a luxury, but now that has worn off. Tao comes from a commoner family so he was the most dazzled by celebrity life.I forgot to say that part: Tao comes from a commoner family (middle lower class by Chinese standards which would be low class by American standards), Kris comes from a family that was poor in the past, and Lu Han comes from a wealthy family. Kris and Tao send any money they get back home. Lu Han does not. He does not talk about his family life much so I don't know why.

Xiu Min – I feel like he is okay now, but in the past he was very depressed about being chosen for EXO-M. Among the Korean trainees, he started out high but dropped to very low. Many people thought he wouldn't be a good type for an idol. He was chosen for EXO because he began to work really hard and show he would not quit. Everyone is very sensitive towards him because of his anxieties. Oh, and it's not because he doesn't like China, actually he was one of the closest Korean trainees to the Chinese trainees and did not think of them as lower. Because the team comforted him he feels better now, but he still wishes he was not viewed as lower than the Chinese members by the media. As for dating, I think he has the least experience out of all the EXO members.

Chen – Chen also did not feel happy at first with being chosen for EXO-M, but it was his only choice to debut as an idol, or else leave SM. Chen was not as close to the Chinese trainees before debut so he is more distant from them than Xiu Min. Chen really admires Kris a lot, and so they became a little closer, but Kris still remembers the time when he was a low trainee and the Korean trainees didn't look at him seriously, so it's a little difficult. Chen did not bully them, though. He joined late so he didn't have a history, it's just that he became with the Korean trainees quickly. When he was chosen for EXO-M, the Korean trainees didn't talk to him as much. The debut period was the hardest on him, and he covered up a lot. He's much more comfortable now. As for dating, he had a long-term girlfriend who he broke up with when he became confirmed for EXO. He had her picture set on his KaKao ID up until debut. I don't think there are any remaining feelings now.

All of them got skin treatments before debut. Kris and Lu Han had their teeth fixed. Chanyeol and Suho had plastic surgery. The company asked Lay to have plastic surgery but he really felt strongly against it. In EXO-K, all of the members come from lower to upper middle class families. The wealthiest member of EXO-M is Lu Han of course. He will always treat the others though and he doesn't like to talk about money. And he doesn't have much interest in designer clothes and things besides accessories. Actually before debut, Lu Han was a fashion black hole. Tao is interested in designer things, not just Gucci but he likes luxury brands. EXO cannot yet afford these things so he will have to wait a little while longer. Chanyeol is also interested in designer things, but more like street or hip hop fashion. He buys many of his own clothes that you can see him wearing even in MVs.The group is not "OT12" and they are pretty comfortable in their own teams. The Chinese members do check the internet for comments about them, but the Korean members don't. Besides Taemin and Kai, none of the EXO members were really close to any debuted idols. Kris became close to Amber because of SMTOWN. They are not particularly close to Zhou Mi and Henry either, there is some tension there.There's more in my head if anyone has another question but this is just a summary. If I said I can't share something then I can't share it, sorry. I won't expose myself."

On another related note, The Heirs has finally ended T___T *sobs What should I do with my life now?? Continue drawing circles in the corner I guess haha.

I wanna get a job sooooo badly but I'm a coward. And also my mom keeps promising to send me to places to hunt for jobs (cough like today cough) but she keeps on breaking those promises haih mommy why u no support daughter's dreams.

And I'm so sick of staying at home only so sick so sick so sick!!!!! I was planning to go to Tiara's prom but it didn't work out and at that time, my head wasn't throbbing like it was going to explode. But now I feel like I wanna punch someone and tear my hair off my scalp.

Daebak this is the power of boredom,

Tomorrow I planned to go to my class party and for a few days before, that was what kept me sane. The thought that I could dress up and make up and go hang out with someone. Then the date changed. Before this the date was changed from 14th to 20th to next year to 15th to 16th and I thought that finally we agreed on 15th. But then people voted on another different date and I thought, ugh, screw it, I'm not going to something with people I'm not close to and pay RM35 for it.

Screw it screw it screw it. You can tell that I'm a 'little' bit upset lol.

Ah well. My mood was good at the beginning of this post then decreased dramatically. See, this is what I said about my hormones craving drama. I'm making a drama all by myself now.

Hahaha, annyeong!

Day #002

A question a day. Day #002.

Who is the most mysterious person in your life right now?

Hmm, if I'm gonna be honest in this question, my answer would be very silly and shallow and weird.

The most mysterious person in my life right now is a namja at school and I liked to be friends with him.Then he got a girlfriend and totally ignored me for the rest of the school year!

He's mysterious. I couldn't quite figure him out. Is he awkward with me? Does he hate me? Did I do something wrong?

Cause he was very very friendly and nice but then suddenly, he wouldn't even talk to me.

Yeap. Kinda psycho and clingy of me.

Actually, I don't think about other people or care about others much so no one is very mysterious to me.

Day #001

A question a day. Day #001.

What's your favorite drink?

Iced lemon tea. I think anyone who's had a meal out with me would know this haha. I'd either order iced lemon tea or just plain water (or as the fancy restaurants would call it, Diamond Water). I love lemons and I love tea and I love ice lol. So iced lemon tea is the perfect drink for me on any day, any time. :D

I want some now...

Korean Obsession

It has been a month of post-school-days and I'm so culture shocked by this freedom haha. First freedom-ish thing I did was to dye my hair a yellow brown colour. To be honest, its a bit too yellow for my taste so I'm gonna darken it a bit soon.

No pics though haha, I don't take pictures of myself often.

And with my sudden abundance of free time, I started to learn Korean. So far, I've finished learning how to read it and learning random words. My pronunciation still sucks though.

눈 (nun) eyes

보조개 (bo jo gae) dimples

Just simple words but I feel so proud hoho. Korea here I come! But have to get degree, job and money first. T__T And also, I've got a long way to go in learning a new language.

Recently I've been thinking about how awesome university life is gonna be. I've talked to my cousin about it and she said that its not really all that but she talked about carnivals and projects and outings how is that not all that?! I'm so starstruck with the idea of university/leaving home. :D So I'm really excited for SPM results to come out. COME FASTER!빨리!!!!

Ugh, I am so addicted to korean culture. Its just so fascinating!!! The kpop idols are the most fascinating hehe cause they're so beautiful and perfect. Maybe I should go to Korea for university. Then I'd kill two birds with one stone, go to Uni and go to Korea.... meet a Korean man and get married and have korean children haha. Then me and Korea would be connected by blood! *psycho

In fact, I'm so obsessed with Korean culture that I never go out in the sun if I could help it so I could achieve their fair skin look. These past few years, I have turned a bit dark for some reason that I don't know. During the day, I would keep my curtains closed and when night comes, I open it to ventilate my room. I don't notice any difference yet (T_T) but I'm gonna keep trying. Buy whitening products, go to whitening facials and keep out of the sun. And sunscreen. Always suncreen.

I don't know why westerners want dark, tanned, bronzed skin. Its NOT good for your skin and I don't think it looks nice. Well, to each their own.

Except Tao. Tao rocks his dark skin. But Tao isn't korean, he's chinese. He looks so good in that bulletproof vest! <3

Why Is Life So Easy?

Ahh, why is life so easy?

Now that SPM is finished, I am doomed to spend my days in total boredom, just like today. But during my pre-SPM days, there was an abundance of things to do (besides studying). I guess 12 hours of doing nothing really does feel like crap.

This is exactly what my Physics/Chem tutor told me about!! After SPM, I would be craving for something, anything to do. And I just scoffed at his words and thought that internet is my best friend. What could be so bad about having free time?

How wrong was I...

Now, I'm trying to find something useful to do with my time. The current things that I do is watching Korean dramas and variety shows.

OMG SPEAKING OF DRAMAS!! I'm watching one called The Heirs, The One Trying To Wear The Crown, Withstands The Weight. It's about a girl, Cha Eun Sang who is played by Park Shin Hye (ohmahgerd she's so pretty). Eun Sang is poor and she meets a guy, Kim Tan a rich heir played by Lee Min Ho (eeeeep) and they fall in love.

So, of course they can't be together right? Cause Eun Sang is the heir of poverty and Tan is the heir of Jeguk Group.

I am telling you, this drama is so amazing! I'm not exaggerating when I say every episode makes me cry and laugh and feel so many emotions at the same time.

Everyone in this drama is beautiful!

And Lee Min Ho (centre) and Kim Woo Bin (the one in the very left) are natural beauties supposedly. And its believable cause Kim Woo Bin's nose isn't super straight and Lee Min Ho's jawline isn't very sharp.

I recommend this drama to everyone. Trust me.

This drama is already at episode 18 so there's only two episodes for me to enjoy left. Wuahhhhh whyyy!!

Hehehehehehehehehehehehehe...

So yeah, I'm watching The Heirs and Running Man everyday now. Which isn't so bad but The Heirs is finishing in two weeks so I'm gonna need some backup drama's now.

Last night, I went to my Senior Prom yayyyyy. I don't have much to say about it and I didn't bring a camera and my phone sucks at taking pics so all my pictures are in other people's camera. *sad

I can say that the desert was awesome. Chocolate cake was awesome. Pudding was awesome. Soup was awesome. Cream puff was awesome. Jelly was awesome. Drinks were awesome. Stuff I don't remember was awesome. If there was ever a time to let go of my self control, it was then. Eating time should've been longer! *bangs table

2 hours of eating isn't enough for me! 

Right now, I wanna go back and eat again hahhhhh. And suddenly I feel like I wanna karaoke (???) . 

But more than anything, I wanna have something to do.