Full Of Drama

Earlier this year, I had my heart set on not joining the drama team for all the responsible reasons.

-I needed to study.
-I needed to study.
-I needed to study.

Yep.

So, life went on as normal, without drama. (Hahaha, geddit?)

Even when I heard that the drama audition was taking place a few weeks ago, I didn't think much about it. Just... ngeh.

Until!

During recess, I was sitting with Sarah and she told me that she met Teacher Walter who was in charge of the drama production. She said that the script was written for us, the past drama team and I was like, awww... That's so nice!

He also said that we had to go to the audition.

How can I just turn my back when there was a character made for me? No, I can't so I just thought I'd audition that very day. Not join. Just audition.

During the audition, there were a few suckish and horrifying auditions. As for my audition, it was okay. It wouldn't be something worth boasting but it was not suckish, that's for sure.

And during the audition, Teacher Walter told me to find some people to audition because there were only about 15 people in the room and when I said, woah, I'm not even joining, he said, "You MUST." So, I thought about it and even wrote a blog post about it. It was such a dilemma.

Then I remembered the good old times last year and the fun that we had. IT WAS SO MUCH FUN!!!

So I thought, yeah sure. I'd join. Its my last year also right? Yeeee! I'm so excited!!!

So the next week, Sarah and I went to find some people to audition. There was Fish, Voon, Nadzhan, Ben, Clairey and lots more la!

For this audition, I knew I was really suckish. REALLY. I auditioned as a nurse and my whole character was soooo wrong. Ugh but some other people were suckier haha.

And so we waited for two or three weeks for the results and I happened to pass by Teacher Walter on Friday last week.

"Did you get the script yet?" he asked me.

"Nope."

"Ok, when you have the time, go meet Teacher ***** to get your script ok? The cast list is out."

SERIOUSLY I GOT IN??!!! HAHAHAHA OF COURSE I GOT IN, TEACHER SAID I MUST JOIN RIGHT RIGHT?'

Unfortunately, there was some technical problems and the script and cast list couldn't be printed yet so I had to wait till Monday, which was today.

But on Saturday, as Sarah and I was chilling before tuition starts, she said her little sister saw the list already and Sarah was the lead and I was the nurse. She told me that the nurse so fits me cause she's very flirty and is money hungry which yes is so me! So I was so very very excited to know the rest of the cast and Monday seemed like an eternity away!

Today, Monday, I went to school and after some talking with Frieda, Sarah and I decided to go buy some food and after that check out the cast list.

Imagine my surprise when I saw that my name was nowhere to be found. Along with surprise comes anger and along with that comes a little tinge of embarassment. Ya la! Its very embarassing to have told your mother and siblings about it and then this happens! Just thank God that I didn't tell any of my friends or I wouldn't be able to look at anyone in the eye.

Fish got in.
Voon got in.
Karen got in.
Clairey was the nurse and so I hate her now.

When we went to class, I really felt like crying because I always cry when I want something I can't have but the anger hasn't kicked in yet.

I really wanted to go the three teachers who were in charge, bang the table and demand an explaination why my name isn't there? After all, I was in the drama team last year, have the experience and my voice is already loud, SO WHY???

Then they'd probably say that I don't have the talent lol FML and that I'm just delusional, double FML.

A Form 4 guy named Wong became the director and Sarah said I should be the assistant director but I don't wanna. I'm already rejected, why bother squeezing myself into a role right? It seems like such a desperate thing to do.

So Sarah said that she wouldn't want to join because the cast is shitty haha and Voon and Fish also said their pulling out cause they have MOOTing and debate so.... haha, screw you drama!

Fish was so nice, I was telling BJ, Adrian and Vanissa about everything and I was saying, "Even Fish got in!!! *wail*"

Surprisingly, Fish was right there in front of me, so I joked around and said, "I HATE YOU!!!!"

And I don't know if he knew it was a joke and said, "I pulled out already!" (That's what she said hahahhaah!)

"Don't talk to me anymore!" I said and walked away to my seat.

And he followed me and said, "I pulled out already...." (cute or not awww!) and I was like, "Sure... sure you did..." and right at that time, my moral teacher came in and Fish had to get out.

I feel so mean now but at that time, I really hated him. Its so easy to bully him hehe.

And got one more guy who was really sweet who sat with me and listened to everything and poked my arm when I cried. I don't know if you read this BJ, but that was really nice of you. 100 XP to Magikarp!!

Throughout the day, I got more and more pissed.

I feel so unappreciated. After everything I've been through with drama and in the end this happens. How can you ask someone to auditiona and go find and beg others to audition and then tell her that she got in and in the end, not even a word from anyone except the absence of her name on a piece of paper.

I feel so betrayed and confused.

And really upset.

And I kinda want the whole drama team to turn out crappy and in tatters.

And I want them to be sucky without me.

And I want this Clairey girl to suck.

And I want them to beg me to be a part of the team just so I can reject them though this isn't likely to happen.

Oh well, in school just keep quiet about it. In my blog, blog shit.

Education System As I See It

This week was the least hectic week I've had this year but so far its the most stressful because its the first test of the year.

Its supposed to be super easy but for me, its moderately hard.

Let me explain to you non-malaysians out there the education system in my school in my point of view.

Every year, we have two tests and two exams, a test and an exam for each semester. The tests are useless (to me at least) but the exams are what determines your place in class so its important to do well in that. But I don't like to look at class placings because even if you get first in class, you can still get the 100th in the whole form.

The tests are only for when you need to ask to not be lowered a class. You are determined what class you are by how smart you are. When the school decides you're stupid, you get lowered a class or two. No point sugar coating it. Last year, I dropped down three classes which I deserve to because I failed five subjects then.

For my year, you have to hand up two years worth of experiment reports for chemistry, physics and biology where you do experiments and report (duh..), four essays on moral values, four reports on community services, four oral tests for english and also for malay.

Not much to do actually if you think about it, but I am perpetually lazy so... yeah. Even going to the library was strain.

So we do all these in two years which isn't so bad unless you do all of them in the last minute, which means you're screwed.

When you're in form 5 or form 3 though, you have to do more tests and more exams than usual because there is the PMR and SPM examinations.

PMR examinations determine which stream you go to. Literature, Science, Economy or Commerce. The people with good PMR results go to Science Stream obviously. When you go to Science, you can go anywhere else but if you are in the others, you can't go to science.

SPM is for applying for university scholarships and also for leaving your name with a bang.

During these two years is when your pimple come out, you get fatter or skinnier, get white hair or get humongous dark undereye circles and eyebags.

Then after that, there is the extracurricular activities.

First there is the 1 Murid 1 Sukan which means that a student has to do 1 type of sports for a given time. I think this is useless and thankfully, I get to skip these activities because I have to attend my classes. Classes comes first.

Then there is the three compulsory clubs you have to join. Uniform, games and clubs. I joined fencing, St John and nature lovers. Each year, the teachers will rate your activeness in each club and give you a grade.

After the five years you attend your secondary school, you have to get an A. NO B OR C OR D. This is so that you get accepted into universities more easily.

Ok ok, maybe other schools are a bit more lenient but my school puts an emphasis on getting A. So far, I have a B.

I don't understand whyyyyy!!! I've joined so many competitions and school activities and I never skip a meeting before. And yet they give me a mediocre B.... I hope that I can finally get an A by the end of the year!

So there you go! Its pretty uninteresting.

Till next time then.

Mighty Minds 2013... SHOW YOUR MIGHT! And someone cheated.

Today was the Mighty Minds competition and haiya, my feelings are topsy turvy today.

Early in the morning I woke up and went to school then waited for Sarah and Ben to come. When they did, we planned what to do for the hands-on challenge. We had to apply a biology concept to our model and so we decided to create a cell, as a city!

I thought that was very creative of us hahaha.

We were so into it you know! Now I can totally pass the cell section of my biology test because of that!

Then, we boarded the school bus to go to Suria Sabah, which couldn't accommodate all of us. Three people were standing, Chong, Genevieve and Carmen and so we offered one of them to sit on our seat and we were the only one who offered!! Sarah thought that these people were so selfish lol. In the end, Ben sat with us cause you know, a group that sticks together is a healthy group lol.

When we arrived there, the mall was full of students. Having nothing to do because the lower secondary was going to sign up first, Sarah, Ben and I decided to wander around.

It was so empty you know, and I can imagine playing running man there. It would be so awesome!

While wandering, we wanted to go to toilet but alas, all the toilets were closed. Except for one toilet... for men.

What to do what to do!!! We just went in and the stall I went into had a little piece of poo floating there!!!!! HAIYA HOW CAN IT BE?! But I just peed and flushed and asked Ben if it was safe to go out. You never know....

So that was that. We went back to the others and then waited....

And waited....

And waited......

And waited...................

The line was sooooo long and that was only the lower form.

 



FOR A WHOLE HOUR OR MAYBE MORE BEFORE WE COULD SIGN UP AND THEN THERE WAS MORE WAITING TO ACTUALLY START THE COMPETITION.

During the whole time of waiting, we were doing nonsense like watching videos in youtube and talking to friends from other school, which is actually not nonsense at all. But we spent only a few minutes researching for facts and stuff, which I think is what we were supposed to be doing. But even if we researched, it would be all in vain also since there's such a small chance of that coming out. So we just chilled and talked.

Me, Sarah and Ben.

 

BESACRYS TEAM!!!

 



Us chilling.

 



Oh ya, right before our part of the competition started, I saw Asshole #1! :O

Sarah so him first and whispered to me, "Omygod, there's Asshole #1..." Then I looked behind me, saw him, and tried to make myself as inconspicuous as possible.

Then Ben and Sarah told me that he saw me also and was staring (how rude), but oh well, doesn't matter. We didn't see him the whole day also after that.

Then it was time for us to go in! They divided everybody into two groups, Blue and Red. My group was in Blue.

They gave us a remote and then we would just press the answer. Pretty easy.

So the quiz starts!!

And we got the first question wrong... and the next... and the next.... and basically we sucked bad la.

How were we supposed to know if dogs and cats sweated on their feet??? I have never heard that before. Or that the Grammy award trophy is a barophone.

The people in front of us was so annoying. They kept on screaming and losing their cool everytime they get an answer right. Then when they found out that they placed first in that round, the girl in the group was screaming and pushing and pulling the guys' shirt.

I feel like punching her guts just thinking about it....

As for us, even if we got the question right or wrong, we kept our cool and hd our poker face on heh.

In the end, we placed the 38th..... *purse lips

It was expected but, I kinda felt disappointed.... What to do when you're upset in a shopping mall??

SHOPPING OF COURSE!!! :D

But before that, we went to eat first.

Because we lost so very terribly (but not as terrible as the last placed la hahahaha FTL), I lost my appetite and so didn't want to eat. I should get upset more, so I become skinny lol.

Eventhough we lost, we still smile!!

We went to the food court and sat at a table joined with three other people. We thought it was an empty table but then four other people came along and they had to sit at another table because of us.

So we asked one of the people if they wanted us to move and we would have gladly done it but....

THE GUY JUST IGNORED US! I don't know if its because he doesn't understand english or what but... Ha, dunno la.

Soon, we finished our meal and went away to shop! First (real, food doens't count) purchase of the day!

 

A diamond case for my phone! Nice or not?

 

I was actually looking for a phone casing that has a mirror so I can be vain in public but sadly, no. So this had to do. Price was RM 32.90. Its hard to believe that this little thing was the most expensive thing I bought that day.

 

Sarah bought a simple purple case and then after a little bit of walking, she went home.:(

 

So it was just Ben and me after that.

 

 

Then I bought this pastel blue french sleeve style top!

 

The price was RM69 (OMG I KNOW!) BUT it was 70% off.

 

AMAZING! So I paid RM 20.70 only. I love sales.

 

I wish I had gotten the pink one though.

 

 Then we went to Metrojaya and I saw these two beauties on a half priced sale. *big sparkly eyes

 

It looks cropped top on the left one looks really orange but really, its a soft pastel peachy colour. I bought that for RM 45.90 and the blue one for 49.90. Divide by half and so I paid RM 47.40 for both.

 

Then I was done and tired!

 

 

This is the hands on challenge. Not the buzzer.

 



Ben and I, went to see the Mighty Mind and the lower form has just started the buzzer quiz. Lok Yuk has some representative in this part, thank God!

 

The questions were so simple, I could answer most of them!!!

 

What was the BCG shot used for? TB of course!! The number killing disease in Malaysia.

 

What is the jump rope style that requires two ropes? DOUBLE DUTCH!!!!!! I was practically screaming that answer out.

 

Park Geun Hye is the president of a country. What is the capital of that country..... Seriously, some said North Korea and some said Pyongyang. The answer is Seooooooouuuuul!!!!!!

 

AND AND AND I witnessed something that seriously pissed me off.

 

As I was quietly chanting the answer under my breath, hoping that our school's group could read my mind, this uncle beside us (us as in Ben, Me and Teacher) frikking told his son or student or whoever, THE ANSWERS!!!! And that school, TEAM A, got the first prize!!!

 

Then when they have done that, the uncle then so promtly put his dirty finger to his mouth signalling the kid to shut up. It's not even once but a whole bunch of times.

 

YOU'RE NOT A WINNER IF YOU CHEATED!

 

Then the kids were smiling and giggling like little annoying hyenas as if they are so smart. AS IF THEY ACTUALLY DESERVED IT.

 

I don't know why teacher won't say anything and why Ben won't say anything but I didn't say anything because we had no proof except that we saw it. But this is my blog and if you believe me or not, that's your judgement.

 

That school has lost all respect from me now. STUPID. Now, if there is a competition and they join, I will see all their winnings as void, they must be cheaters.

 

The uncle is also so very stupid. How can you teach that kind of attitude to a kid. HOW CAN YOU TEAR AWAY THE DREAMS OF KIDS WHO ACTUALLY WORKED THEIR ASS OFF FOR THIS COMPETITION.

 

WHAT ABOUT THE KIDS WHO ACTUALLY DESERVED IT?

 

Ok, they don't deserve it. I can't do anything now.

 

After that, Lok Yuk team got 2nd prize, which they were already happy about!

 

Daddy called me to go home but before we did, we went to 1Borneo.

 

Where I bought a final piece....

 

 

Final shopping piece is this orange and blue top and I really like the collar and sleeves! This had no sale but since I fell in love, I just bought it without thinking. It was RM 29, which isn't so bad.

 

So that was my Mighty Minds competition experience. How nice! Expect for those little shits who cheated, I am happy with my day!

 



Its Been A While

Oh yay I've just slept for 8 whole hours since 7pm last night and its 3.30am now so I am in a very good mood...

And its been such a long time since I've blogged!

I am very irritable and hateful this week, mostly to boys because they are less sensitive than girls.

On bio, BJ sat next to me and I was very mean to him. I didn't laugh at his jokes, undermined him and I consistently had a pissed off face the whole time.

But it wasn't his fault also haha.

It was because that this week, there was a second drama audition and I was horrible!! D: I stuttered, paused and my expression was totally off.

Its not like I am confirmed to join or anything but its so embarrassing for a senior to have a bad audition while the others did great... If only there was a pissed off bitch in the script, I'd nail it.

Great just great. Now I'm gonna be a tree or worse, a rock.

I have a small inkling that teacher won't give me a role at all ... What to do!

No, I shouldn't think about such negative thoughts.

Ok never mind about that. What's done is done.

*crawls to a corner and weeps

Anyway something else that made me hateful is my Additional Mathematics teacher.

I know how people say that should forgive and forget if someone does us wrong but everytime I forgive him, he would just piss me off all over again in the next lesson.

I asked him a question about index numbers and all that and he was so undetailed about explaining it. And then he used a patronising voice when I asked about everything he wrote. In the end I just said I understood what he said and he said, 'So boring,' and left.

Sigh, I am emotionally scarred and traumatised. How can a teacher act that way??!!

So I decided to take up Add Maths tuition and it is awesome! I don't get scolded when I ask questions.

There are teachers who are horrible and there are those who are overly nice. Like my chemistry teacher.

A guy in class was eating some biscuits in right in front of her so she told him to put them away.

But then the guy just slowly put the biscuit into his mouth and slowly chewed them as if to say, what can you do to me? The whole class laughed.

Not me la of course, I don't find being an asshole funny.

Cause when a teacher is so nice, why the hell would you provoke her? The whole class would pay the price if she gets really pissed off.

Be appreciative of what you have. In this case, its a nice teacher.

So as of today, my respect for that guy lowered significantly. I don't like assholes. AT ALL! *scoffs

On a more happier note, I am going to the Mighty Minds competition tomorrow! So that will be a full day of being in Suria Sabah, one of the most popular shopping mall, and I kinda hope that we lose so I can go shopping. Haha, silly selfish thought.

Mighty Mind is a quiz competition where you have to build models and answer questions as a group. So basically, I'll be a parasite

But seriously, I hope that we really give our best. Even if we lose, then at least we (I) can drown my sorrow in shopping.

Its been such a while since I've had a proper shopping outing. Eventhough this isn't really a proper one, but its good enough.

Yeeee so excited!

Wish me luck!

P.S : Wish the other groups misfortune so they lose.

Swayed

I am so easily swayed!

Today, Sarah told me that the drama auditions have started today at 12pm. At first I thought meh... whatever. Not like I'm joining anyway.

Then she said that she's going because Teacher Walter told her that they wrote the script for us. T__T I am so honored! How can I just turn my back when they've done that, right?

So I called my dad and told him to pick me up a little late because I decided to go to the auditions as well. You know, just to know what kind of script and people and how its going to be this year.

In the end, I auditioned for a role and now I'm thinking about joining.

At least join one competition in a year, right and as long that I promise myself that I'd work extra hard for school, its all gonna be fine....

I am so delusional nowadays. Why am I like this?

I know that I won't be able to do well in class if I join. And perhaps it won't be the same as last year after all cause last year, my seniors were awesome.

Now, I'm the senior. The ONLY senior (if I decide to join that is), unless I can find other people to join. Teacher says we need mature looking people around. All the 13 year olds and 14 year olds and 15 year olds won't cut it. If we can't find anyone mature, then we'll just have to rely on the power of makeup.

And if I don't join, the younger students won't have a senior to teach them anything.

Now I'm just making excuses. Truth is, I really do want to join! I am denying my own happiness! Plus, I wouldn't be able to stand seeing someone else playing my role. NO CANNOT! I'll beat myself up harder for it and will definitely be unhappy.

To join, or not to join. I'm gonna have to ask the wisest teacher I know. Dorothy.

Downside

The downside of having a big exam at the end of the year and being incredibly left behind on your studies is that you can't join any competitions. That's how I see it.

I really really really wanna join a lot of competitions this year but I know that if I do, then that would mean sacrificing my classes and study time and also I'll be 'that member' who holds everyone back.

Nobody wants to be 'that member'.

I really want to join drama this year and if I was just a normal student with no big exams then I would totally go for it like I did last year. It was much fun and I had an awesome time with the rest of the cast. We played truth or dare, dressed up, talked all day long and made fun of each other and...

Oh my, I wanna cry! I miss it so much!

When it was the end of the competition I fell into depression not cause we lost, but cause it was the end! We wouldn't see each other everyday anymore!

After months of seeing the same faces and having fun with the same people every day (we didn't attend classes. HOHOHO, I felt superior), you'd get attached. All I didn't like was the photos taken during the comptition because I looked horrible in most of them except one or two. T___T Not joking. All I can say to comfort myself is that anybody will look ugly when they're so into character... except my character was a beauty queen.... an evil one though! :D

So yes, ugly is good! (Delusional)

 

Having fun with Jed's webcam.

 

Left to right : Sarah, Me, Dawer, Isaiah and Ryan.

 

Sarah is supposed to be my rival and the heroine of the story and I have to be a bitch to her. I felt so bad because she makes this really hurt face and it seems so real! Then I would just laugh and ruin the whole thing.

 

 

 And then there's Fitra!

 

Sob... DON'T WE ALL LOOK SO HAPPY?!!... sob... Oh, the reason for all the holes is that we were trying to change the background but something went wrong. Just saying la, I think we looked good in the pics.

 

 

Sarah and I couldn't stop talking about anything but drama after that and slowly we stopped thinking about it altogether. I'm not sure when we stopped feeling withdrawn but it came gradually. Which just goes to prove that we can get over anything.

Now that I'm writing about this I kinda feel depressed again though...

Point is, I want that feeling again. I wanna be part of something like that again but I can't cause of stupid SPM.

And yesterday, Vanissa asked me if I wanted to join an architecture competition and join her group. I thought awesome at first, cause my dad is an architect and it was like following his footsteps but then... SPM ruined it once again.

A dark side of me wishes that they'd lose so that there wouldn't be any regrets for me and I could feel better. So bad yet that's the truth. Can't help these kind of feelings and thoughts.

If they did win and get the prize money (A LOT OF MONEY), you'll see me banging my head against the wall... But! The good side of me wants them to be the best also cause they are my friends after all and I'm not always a thoughtless selfish bitch.

I also wanna join all the fencing competitions actually!!!! But because of SPM, I don't think I'd be able to take the risk of missing classes for training. Better do well in one than be mediocre at both right?

I'm just training once a week for the whole year and to me, that's not nearly enough. I want to train every single day! I like the feeling of soreness and cramps the day after training! I like hanging out with the fencing gang! I hate that this is my last year and I just know this is where it ends!

These are all 'fun' type of competitions. I never go for the stressful ones cause they always make me cry.

I like fun.

And unfortunately, what's fun doesn't seem to ever be the right choice.


 

When I Was A Kid #4 #5

#4

When I was a kid, I always seemed to see movies where kids in other countries studied outside, like on the grass and singing and having fun.

I really really wished that I could do that someday then.

Then today, my class didn't have a classroom so we all studied physics outside in front of the teacher's office. There was no grass or anything though but still, it was outside.

Expectation : My classmates giving ideas on the subject, someone playing guitar, butterflies flying around and a soft cool breeze blowing in my face and me laughing and feeling great.

Reality : Hot air blowing in my face, classmates (including me) complaining about how hot it is, noisy students walking around and me losing weight just sitting there cause its so hot.

So.... NEVER AGAIN.

#5

When I was a kid, I read this article that Malaysia wouldn't be peaceful forever. Back then, I thought that NOTHING would change ever so I thought that it was a ridiculous article.

I remember feeling sad and scared though because as a kid, everything on the internet, tv and newspapers were always true because Daddy read them everyday. Whatever Daddy did and said was smart because he was the smartest person ever to 7 year old me.

Now, my home, Sabah, is invaded in Lahad Datu.

And I'm feeling scared like I did 10 years ago. :(

When I Was A Kid #3

When I was a kid there was a point in my life when I didn't have Astros, a TV channel company.

So all I had to watch was TV1, TV2, TV3 and TV7.

So that was when I was educated on Indonesian, Philippine and Chinese TV shows. I remember that that was the highlight of my days.

This was also the point in my life when I had no books, phone, or computer. Just a small TV.

Now that I think about it, I wonder if my parents were having money crisis back then. I was 11.

Anyway, everyday there would be 2 whole hours of the same infomercials. And everyday without fail, I'd be there watching it from start to finish expecting it to be different from the day before.

I was a stupid kid.

When I Was A Kid

Ok I'm gonna start writing these posts called when I was a kid. Basically it tells stories of when I was growing up.

I suddenly had this idea because I bought this really funny book that tells cute and funny stories of when the author was a kid.

So it begins! :D

When I was a kid, I was really stupid. I didn't understand about death I think so I guess that's why I end up doing things that could get me killed.

One night I was playing with coins. Other kids play with coins by stacking them or counting but I play with them by putting them in my mouth. I remember that I thought that they were delicious.

That night, I swallowed a coin. Thank God that I knew enough to tell my parents about it.

So they took me for an xray and true enough, there was a coin stuck on my throat.

Then we went to the doctor andthey vacuumed it out. I got to eat lots of ice cream after that and I wondered what I did to male me deserve the reward.

#2
When I was a kid, I used to stay at my mom's teacher's lounge after school sometimes. It was nice because it had air conditioning.

One day, I tried doing some gymnastics because I thought that it was cool. The only thing I could achieve however was putting my right foot on my waist. That was good enough for me.

So I ran to the staffroom to show my mom. "Mummy!! I got a talent!!"

And showed my trick. In front of all the teachers. And I felt so damn proud of myself.

I can't do it anymore though.