It Seems Like Yesterday

It seems just yesterday when I joined the drama team. Yes, it is still consuming a great deal of my brain.

A part of me is thankful that it will all be over in less than a week but another part of me wishes really badly that that wouldn't happen. Who knows, maybe we'll win? I want us to win. God, please give us all this moment of glory.

Oh yeah, I have yet to know why my name wasn't on the list on that day. I wanted to ask teacher about that but then again, wouldn't that seem a bit too... delusional. Ha.

Anyway, back to winning, I really want to win. How about I write that 10 times everyday for the next few days up till the competition?

Get first prize on the drama competition.
Get first prize on the drama competition.
Get first prize on the drama competition.
Get first prize in the drama competition.
Get first prize on the drama competition.
Get first prize on the drama competition.
Get first prize on the drama competition.
Get first prize on the drama competition.
Get first prize on the drama competition.
Get first prize on the drama competition.

You know, I did this once last year for my SINDEX competition. I asked all my teammates to write that we would win 10 times and then we really did win!

But, if I ask the drama team to do this, then I would be rising up their hopes and the higher it is, the more painful the fall will be if we lose.

Its not about winning, its about having fun. That's what I thought last year.

I really wanted to have my juniors experience what I experienced last year. Unfortunately, time is of the essence and there is simply not enough time for us to laze around.

This sucks! I hope that next year's will be better.

On that sad note, I would also like to say that I took my history paper today and it was horrifying. The questions were so hard and I just wrote anything that crossed my mind in the answer sheet.

Same goes to chemistry papers I took yesterday. Just as horrifying.

Its going to be so embarrassing when I get my paper back yer!

Sorry that this blog is so sad. I'll try to blog about happier things next time.

Perhaps that we won the drama competition?

What Happens When You're Pressured

I went to my BM debate competition this morning and needless to say, we lost. But its fine, its fine!

I found out that two things can happen when I get pressured during a competition.

Either I become stellar.

Or I become a complete idiot.

Just now, I became an idiot, definitely.

Ok ok! What's past is past, I don't wanna blog about this anymore.

Recently, I've been really busy with drama and juggling schoolwork at the same time. I won't let drama be an excuse to get left behind in my studies like last year.

So on rehearsals, I would be reading my books and doing schoolwork backstage. HAHAHA! Yeah right, like that would actually work.

Drama is too distracting too be doing work.

You know what else is going on with my life?

A whole lot of annoyance.

I feel annoyed when people act like they know everything when they actually don't and try to teach others to do it. Cool, wallow in your stupidity, but don't drag others into it.

This is all because of my darling director of drama who keeps telling stupid things to the actors.

He acts like he's the boss of every single thing that has to do with drama and maybe he is, but he doesn't know jack shit about a thing and he doesn't listen to others.

He thinks that he is right all the time when its so obvious that he is wrong. He does things that aren't necessary and his priorities are warped. His attitude is horrible OMG!

He always uses this tone that makes me want to punch anyone within a three feet radius and I feel like he is disrespectful to the rest if the drama team.

And in turn makes me disrespectful as well. It makes me feel bad sometimes and other times I promise myself to be nicer since he is just joining the team this year but I can't help that I am such a bitch.

I can take it if other seniors boss me and the others around like he always does, I can. Its just the fact that he has no experience.

It makes me wonder why the hell he is chosen as the director.

Is this just my hormones talking? I can't control what I like and dislike can I? I can't control what makes me annoyed and it just so happens that he is annoying me.

Its not me, its him lol.

Sigh, I hope this irrational feeling goes away soon. Its not good for my brain and I have to endure all this for 11 more days.

And then, I'm free.

Mentality

Today I went to tuition for Add Maths and if you know me, anything to do with numbers is not my thing.

Maths has never been my thing, or at least it has never come naturally for me. My sense of numbers is warped to the extent that a plus could be a minus and a 2x2 could be a 6. (true story)

But why am I such a retard in maths? Not just maths la, but everything that involves calculating. So basically that means my physics and chemistry are screwed as well.

Well, it all started on my first day of Standard 4. I was a happy kid who was neutral about maths. The years before that, maths was all about spelling numbers and 1+1 kind of crap. Until an evil wretch whom we all called Teacher Grace asked me to multiply a 4 digit number with a 2 digit number! I remembered thinking if it was a trick question because I have never seen such a question before and I stood there for a really long time until Teacher Grace scolded me for drying up her ink and then hit me with a book.

That's right! Hit me. On my butt.

Hmph till this day, I still hate her. Anyway, that's the story of my un-mathematicalness.

Back to today, we were doing a few exercises and teacher asked if it was hard and yeah, I thought it was.

By it, I thought the subject.

Then he said, why?

"Because its Add Maths" I said.

So teacher got into this long lecture about trying and everything and it was true and I felt so ashamed! Haih.

Teacher told us about people who never tried (gah... Guilty) and that saying you can't do it is just an excuse. Its all about our mentality, whether or not we're willing to really try or not.

There is no such thing as I'm not born to do maths, teacher said. You fail before you even start if you think like that.

From saying you can't or you're stupid, say you tried.

I felt so ashamed and it was all true! I am just making up excuses and I'm just a really negative person when it comes to things I can't do.

In the end of teacher's talk, we discussed the question and I got it right.

"You say its hard and you got it right?"

"I was talking about the subject."

"=.="

Well, because I never wanted to feel as ashamed as I did again, I'm going to study my arse off. Get smart in those calculations and love those numbers!

I'm gonna scream, cry, bleed, sweat and love every minute of it.

More And More Drama

Well, the drama team asked me to join them 2 days ago.

I was really in a dilemma on whether or not if I should join because they really hurt me and I don't really care much about them anymore.

And the teacher in charge didn't even ask about what I wanted, she just snapped her magic fingers and poof, I'm in just cause she said so.

The only reason I'm in is because Fish pulled out. If he didn't, I don't think they would even think twice about me.

I feel like the unwanted backup plan....

So why am I joining? I can always say no. Why should I care?

Well, I don't wanna leave Sarah alone by herself. And also, there is that little part of me that still love being a geeky drama queen.

I went to the rehearsals yesterrday and teacher said she wanted me to try out being a bitch and she said she doesn't think I can be a bitch because I look very innocent. *scoff

Oh please. I AM a bitch.

Actually, I don't know how to act like a diva sort of bitch, only a mean and a dumb blonde kind but, practice makes perfect.

However, I don't think I'm showing much dedication anyway cause today, I skipped the rehearsal to go for tuition. And even when I went for tuition I wasn't paying any attention to teacher anyway!

I feel so bad for that! So, this is the last time. The whole drama cast needs help cause they suck bad.

I'll make sure they're better in the competition. Until next time then.



Next day..... (Brace yourselves, I have lots to complain about)

Yer yer yer yer yerrrrr! The drama team is so frustrating!!!

Today Sarah and I trained them on their voice projection and I felt so frustrated! I felt like punching something because they're not doing it seriously! A whole hour just to perfect a stupid expression on one person is ridiculous!!!

They were laughing and laughing and laughing and UNTIL THEY DIE LA THEY LAUGHING HAIYAAAA!!!!!! Tell me where the hell laughing is gonna get you on the day of the competition huh? To embarassment and beyond?!!!! *frustrated scream

And the whole thing was so very boring... I was yawning through the whole thing and when it was finally the time to say my lines, I needed that kick in the arse to get me going.

I don't know what's more boring, the tone of the voices or the script. Maybe a combination of both.

AND we're not even rehearsing the amount of time we have to everyday! Only two hours and a half a day.... That's not enough... AT ALL. I'm skipping tuition which I pay RM 20 per day for and I only get to say my lines ONCE during the time. I'm definitely doing something about that. Maybe ask the principal or something if I'm brave enough harhar.

Speaking of saying my lines, I am very embarrassed this year cause of my idiotic lines. They're so embarrassing to the point where I feel the need to puke when I think about it. It's just... so awkward to say my lines to the person I say it to. I wish the guy I say my lines to was someone else.

Well, I guess we're doomed! Good bye world. I'm gonna go crawl under a rock or something now.