Embarassing!

Oh, woe is me!

Today, as I was shopping, something embarassing happened...

I wanted to get some new jeans, and since jeans is something I wear almost every day, I thought I should invest in them.

So I went to Gap and bought a pair of jeans for an "expected" price. It was like RM215, which is not so bad considering everything like the quality and brand. Plus, my 2014 New Year's resolution was not to be so cheapskate and buy low quality stuff.

But I didn't have enough cash on me so I had to use my card, and the horror of horrors happened. My card was denied FML.

I was so flustered I couldn't even finish my sentences! And I said, "I'm gonna... I'm gonna...*points to the general direction of the exit*." And the cashier said, "To the atm?" "Yeah."

I don't even know why I'm so embarassed because things like this happens sometimes right right?? But I felt this irrational urge to tell the cashier that I had loads of money.

In the end, everything went fine though. But I have new jeans! I have been wearing the same two jeans for the whole year, so cannot! Time for new ones hoho.

A while back, my results for school came out and as expected, I did badly. But I feel like I grew a thicker skin and learnt to accept failure better. I didn't cry over it or told people about it and I forgot about it the next day haha.

Thinking about that made me think more about how I've grown and not grown this year.

I've grown to be more independent, I think because I found myself not thinking about home or family as much. I've even gone to a point where I don't call or text my parents anymore. And I looooove being able to make my own decisions about where to go and what to do whenever and wherever.

But at the same time, I still feel like a little child. I still have severe regret inducing spending habits. Like on Chinese New Year, I didn't go back home to Sabah, and I spent about RM 100 every single day for 5 days. 😥😥😥 So wasteful!! *knocks head

And I am sometimes tactless in my conversations with people. I noticed that I hurt people's feelings a lot a lot and I wanna say sorry but its too awkward because I'm not sure if their feelings are even hurt and don't wanna make it a big deal if its not.  Y'know what I mean?

I'm also still socially awkward ngeh. Some people say I look antisocial and others say I'm friendly, so it can go either way I suppose. But I admire nice and friendly people in my school and I wanna be like that! Hmm, like Jesus? 😄😄

Yes! Just like Jesus.

10 things I wanna be/do
1. Kinder.
2. Nicer.
3. Gentler.
4. When people do wrong to me, I want to respond in kind. Like turning the other cheek when people slap you and to forgive even when people are not sorry.
5. Not judge.
6. Be more grateful.
7. Generous. I wanna be generous not just in the form of money and material things, but also in my time and kindness and friendship.
8. No more gossiping! I am guilty of this this year. I feel like my mean words are just as bad when the person in question isn't there.
9. Not be so kedekut with compliments and love.
10. Be more motivated and positive. This year I was very pessimistic, almost borderline asshole lol. And I think the negative thinking actually makes me more annoying because I keep bursting people's bubbles.