24th May

24th of May was the highlight of my stay in KL with Daddy, Mummy and Little Brother before I officially become a Uni Girl. Its the day of shopping!!! 
Mostly shopping for stuff for my room la, but still.
We ate breakfast at Midvalley Megamall food court and its really yummy. I think better than most of the expensive restaurants' food. And way cheaper.
And then off we went! First stop, commuter station. O.O
I have never rode in a train before. Even bus and taxi also can count the number of times I've been on it on 1 hand. So I was a bit stressed out when I saw the amount of people in the station but I still have to learn how to go about buying the ticket and coins and which train to take.
Thank goodness I wasn't alone that time.
The commuter was ok though. It was air-conditioned and not as dense with people as I thought. But I don't see myself using it a lot though.
I went to see the petronas twin towers and KLCC and then went to Bukit Bintang to look around. I think its quite overrated actually, I didn't get the whole ooohhh and ahhhh feeling looking at all the buildings and shopping malls. 
I heard all the wonderful cheap prices in KL compared to KK but I don't think the price difference is that big. Maybe can save a few ringgit on each item la. I bought 2 long sleeved shirts that my university required and I love them! Can wear for anything :D. But that's where the shopping stopped for me lol. 
Maybe I just haven't explored the shops enough. But there's much more of the brands at KL, like Sephora, Forever 21, ZARA, and Makeup Forever.
I really think my accent is too different because wheneverI order something, I always have to repeat it at least twice. After a while, I just spoke in English to everyone.
Then, we went back to the hotel.
I didn't even get to rest before I went shopping for stuff like pail, hangers, pillow, bed sheets, tupperware and alarm clock. Buying all these took up the rest of the day and left us with so much stuff to bring to my college.
Finally, we ended the day with Godzilla which was an okay movie. Again, it is overrated. 
And now, is when I tell you a plot twist.
I was getting ready to go to sleep when a Watsapp message ring came and I found out that the Mara loan results were out. I sat up and checked and....
I GOT IN!
So I told my parents and just like that, I wasn't going to sign up to the uni anymore. I only had while to think about it and wish I had more time to think about which I wanted to go (like google and research and ask for advice)... but we had to book the flight ASAP so I just went with my gut feeling and chose Engineering over Life Science.
I still wonder if I made the right decision and I'm still worried if I made the wrong one. But there's no going back now. Its now Engineering or nothing. Aih... I hope I'll be able to do this.
I'll work really hard! I won't give up. I'm going to go to the  library until late at night ad do all those maths calculations until I become as smart as Albert Einstein. And then I'm going to read and read and read all the books until I can quote the exact paragraph and the page number in each one.
Do or die.
Go big or go home.
Oh God, I hope I made the right choice.

Bla bla bla plane bla bla

I'm waiting to board my plane!

Ooh there is one coming in right now.

I saw my favorite cookie shop here at the waiting area... FAMOUS AMOS. So I bought them and will eat them on the plane.

Just now, my separation from Meow was very dramatic. Soooo kesian oh him! His favorite owner, the human who loves him the most is leaving.

I told Little Brother to take care of him.

I'm gonna miss how Meow warms my feet at night. And how he always crawls on to my lap or chest whenever he can.

사랑해 미아우!!

(That was written right before I boarded the plane on friday. So much happened since then. I've got major news!!)

Last Night

Goodbye KK!!!!!! Its my last night here and I packed a hella lot of stuff. One whole bag filled with my life lol.

Skincare, wet wipes, bb creams, hair clip, contact lens with solution, lip balms and a friend's birthday present for motivation haha. And also some soap and shampoo just in case.

OMMMMMGGGG!!!! I NEED TO BRING MY EXO PICS AND LEE JONG SUK POSTER!!!!

*runs to pack in my official territory flag*

Not weird ok haha. I'm sure other girls hang pictures of their favorite celebrities too. They're actually postcards btw.

I decided to leave Lee Jong Suk's huge poster though.

So... I think I'm ready to leave.

Truth be told, I actually think I'm going to accept the overseas scholarship if I am skilled enough get it. Cause this is a once in a lifetime opurtunity right! Going to a western country worh...

I really really want it acutally. But we'll see next week what happens. If I keep saying things like this and in the end, I'm not even offered then that'd be embarassing.

I've been very busy this week. I did a very elaborate medical checkup that I had to come to the clinic on 2 different days, and I opened a bank account, and made new baju kurungs, and packing my luggage.

I'm gonna do a "What To Pack To Uni" blog post soon! Just have to go to uni to see if I missed anything.

Ok la! My flight is tomorrow afternoon. Two hours up in the sky yay but there's no movies or songs to listen to anyway so not so yay about that. I guess I should bring a book.

Well, till I blog again! Muah!

Kriseu's Lawsuit

Haihhh...

Kris from EXO is terminating his contract. Worst case scenario is the whole group disbands, best case scenario is Kris will just get a new and improved contract.

I see them as a motivation. Cause they followed their dreams and work hard every day to get better. And I want to be like that too.

But now that Kris is leaving and the whole group is turning their back on him, it kinda shatters the perfect picture I have of them in my head. 

Mmmm so sad :( This is the one kpop group that I fell in love with at first sight. When I saw them in Running Man (a korean variety show), I immediately wanted to know more about them. Ah well, they can't always be perfect.

Something New, Something Familiar

I need to get this off my chest.The last two posts were also of this topic but I'm going to dedicate this one post to one topic :

I am scared and worried right now.

University life is so foreign and I know that I'm not the only one who feels this way. Life goals has been so straightforward up till now. It's always so simple and I only have to take it all one step at a time. Study. Do well in this exam. Do well in that. Join activities. Go to this class. Go do that. Secondary school is EASY. And fun honestly.

It was fun because it is familiar to me. I know exactly what to expect like what to wear, what to do, what to eat, who to talk to.

Hajiman... (but...)

I am going to KL soon... like 2 weeks. Everything is so foreign. I don't know what to wear, what to do what to eat, who to talk to. I don't even know if I should speak like normal or try to refine my Malay a bit cause some people think that the Sabah accent is very harsh.

I am going there ALONE and I think that's what frightens me the most. If I had continued my studies near home, then I could go back home and cry on my friend's/families shoulder. I just want something familiar...

I want to come back home at the end of the day.

Ok, I'm just gonna blabber all the embarassing things ok?

Whenever I have a bad day, I would cry at home, with my mom. (Oh god I'm even crying now). I cry. Its what I do. And let me tell you, I cry very easily. The slightest confrontation and sadness can set me off. Even watching other people cry makes me cry. Thinking of something bad that happened to me 13 years ago makes me cry.

I cried watching Spiderman break up with Gwen Stacy.

Anyway, later at this foreign place, probably with no friends, I'm gonna have to cry alone. That's such a depressing thought... I'm gonna throw away all dignity and call my parents every night! I'm gonna skype, watsapp, sms, call them all the time haha.

Last year, this loneliness didn't even cross my mind. I always thought that I'd be sick of familiar things cause 17 years already seeing the same things right? No, I can't get enough of this. Its really true... you don't realise you love something till you've lost it.

I think that... I'm really not ready to be independent. I'm still a child. I'm not ready to go out to the real world on my own.

My aunt called me just now and I told her that I'm heavy hearted and while telling her, I got even more heavy hearted so its hard... She said that everything will be okay. I'm gonna have to face this sooner or later (although I would wish it was later).

So, I guess I'm diving in these murky waters, unknown of what lies beneath. (Damn dramatic sentence)

This makes me realise how cruel it is to animals when you separate them from their mothers. And I've done that a number of times when I took some kittens back to my house. I feel so bad now!!!!! Btw, that is not the case with Meow, cause he was alone and starving when I found him.

I'm also worried about my inability to make new friends. I've never had any problems making new friends (my trick is to treat them as if they are already your friend, usually people would just play along) before. But! Suddenly my confidence is dropping haha what am I gonna do.

What if I don't find people who click with me? What if they find me weird? What if I become the campus pariah omg knock on wooooood.

So... I went back to basics aka pre-school leveled motivation and remembered this Dr. Seuss poem (?).

I will definitely remember these words when I'm in a slump and when I'm afraid. Like, now lol.

Someday I'll read back this blog post, and laugh and wonder, why I was ever worried. :D

I'm going to make my year in KL fun! And enjoyable! And I'm going to spend my days and nights laughing, cause a second being unhappy is a second wasted right?

So, although I'm sad to leave, I should also say I'm excited for a whole new chapter of my life to begin. And also lots of freedom hoho. I'll update again when I get there and tell you guys all about my first week after orientation.

TTFN! Tah Tah For Now.

Scaredy Cat

I'm scared leh! I read some posts about orientation week and it seems like hell!

I would only get 3-5 hours of sleep???? I would have to get up in the middle of the night???? I would have to go under thr sun???

And then get harassed by seniors!

Nope nope nope. Uggghhhhh somehow I want to go to matriks haha.

I absolutely hate unnecessary torture. I read that the seniors would wakr you in the middle of the night just to do a cheer.

Omg.

Please help me.

I hate this kinds of things. Now that uni life is getting closer, the reality is getting clearer.

I was hoping for a peaceful orientation with speeches and chairs.

Not sports and grass.

The thing that gives me motivation the most is EXO. They have worked so hard so long. I need to be more like them.

I Got In!

I got into the university I wanted! But I don't want to say which university it is. I can tell you its not overseas haha.

I feel like this blogging so much about my life! But the things I wanna say are private :(

And I'm scared that these blog posts will haunt me forever. More so that I'm moving to a new school and I say something wrong and have to go to uni court and then get expelled HOW!?

Like this.

But I love blogging! Eottohke.....

I guess I'll just write out my filtered thoughts.

Its so exciting! I really don't know what will happen in one year. I feel like I might miss my mom. Before this I was very sure I wouldn't miss my parents but I am so close to them and I've been seeing their faces for 17 years! It would be shocking going by a whole year without them.

And then I have to leave Meow (cat)... and Hachi (dog)... and Little Brother (human)....

I wanna go... and yet I wanna stay. If I went to Matriks, that would be possible cause I can come home every month with a half hour flight, possibly less. But this one is like a two hour flight. How to afford? And how to make time?

I wanna ask Teacher Dorothy, my english teacher last year how she coped when she went to UK to study when she was young. I wanna send a message to her but I dunno, too shy, too awkward. Should I? All my brothers and sisters did this transition slowly cause they all went to matriks so I don't think this experience is the same.

The only person who could very much understand is Daddy. He left home since he was 13! THIRTEEN. To somewhere as far away as I am going now. Actually, exactly as far away. Then he went to UK directly after that at my age, 18. WHAT IS THIS. IF HE CAN DO IT, I CAN DO IT.

I hope I'll have fun. I wanna make new friends who love EXO (haha major requirement right there) and who I can click with. You know, the kind of friendship that makes you laugh and laugh and laugh.

Then again, I wanna keep in touch with my current friends. I always imagined that my friendships in secondary school are forever. I hope it is. :D

I'm also wondering if RM 500 a month is worth it for an air-conditioned room. Pffft a rented house doesn't even cost that much! Then again... Malaysia is very hot oh... Maybe I should go on a diet for the whole year and spend the money for air conditioning instead. Hold on, don't they have scholarships for these things?

I also hope that I'll be able to catch up with my studies since I basically forgot almost every single thing I learnt before this. I will work hard! I've experienced utter failure before and I will not experience it again!

*determined face/constipated face  .... Shouldn't make such jokes.

Take a calculated jump I guess. 화이팅. 하나 둘 셋 가자!

First Post Of May 2014

Its the start of May already and all of the university results will come out! The rumour is its coming out this week and I have been checking everyday but alas, nothing has come out yet.

Imagine! In a month or two I'll be a UNIVERSITY/COLLEGE STUDENT. *angels singing *big eyes *wide smile

As usual, I am nervous. But I've been through so much waiting (like SPM exam, SPM results, shortlisting results, matrix results and so many other results la) and was nervous in all of them that I am already comfortable with this kind of discomfort lol.

I've reached the point where I just feel like whatever happens will happen and I'm confident in my ability to make things alright no matter what it is.

And I've already been accepted to matrix so now my road to higher education is already confirmed no matter what yay! *optimistic

While waiting for SPM results, I was sure that I wasn't going to get my desired results and even spent a lot of time mentally preparing myself for the devastating news that I created in my head.

I'd imagine getting my results, seeing the horrible B's and then faking a smile and then going behind the hall building to cry lol. It was so dramatic, complete with dramatic camera angles (it rotated around me lolol), sad piano and violin and rain wth . In my head I cry so prettily but actually...

But pshhhh all that worrying for nothing cause everything worked out perfectly. Which is why I don't really worry for my uni results now. So sick and tired emotionally.

So now I know its not because I was actually crappy in the interviews but its all in my head. My head keeps replaying all the scenarios that I did something stupid but somehow conveniently forgets all the things I did right. *scumbagbrain.jpg

I can only pray to be accepted into the university if my choice. If I don't get it...

Its still okay haha. The world won't end. The sun still shines. Maggi still needs to be cooked for 2 minutes wherever I am lol.

*squeals!

I can't wait to find out what my future school will be!