I have always thought that nice people are cool and that people who are nice to their admirers are cool.

And I have always been afraid to like someone just in case they might laugh at me for it.

I was in my Advanced Composition class last Thursday and we were (for some unknown reason) discussing about crushes and crush-ee.

And this dude in class was talking about someone who admired him. He and his friends basically said that she is a really creepy stalker who wasn't even that pretty.

And I think that's pretty messed up. Although, I am a hypocrite because I have thought that way about some people in the past.

I feel disgusted with myself after that class and I feel disgusted with the boys in much class too.

One of the most recurring thoughts I have once I started college is that gentlemen are rare and if someone would just offer his seat or keep the door open I would be pretty surprised. Although I guess there are one or two kind gentlemen in my class.

One time, a guy complimented my glasses and offered to help me buy food haha.

One of the things I hate the most is when we are supposed to arrange the chairs and tables in class and some people are basically just sitting their doing nothing and criticising! Ugh! That is so annoying!

Okay; I digress. Back to the discussion.

Yeah I was pretty horrified. A person is putting their heart in your hand and you are being careless with it!

And my lecturer was saying how she hopes her son would never go through the same thing. But I disagree. Wouldn't she want her son to be loved?

I would never want my son to be say such bad things and laugh about a person who likes him.

I am trying to be kinder and it is hard when you're not used to it. But its things like this that makes my blood boil and gives me determination to be better.

I'm Going To Be Happy

Ahhhh its been a good day! All I did all day long was eat, sleep, and watch tv shows. And then I did some calculus around midnight.

Luxurious or not?

I've been kinda -what's the word...- tense recently. I felt like I'm slipping in my studies and for a scholar, that screams red lights. Dangerous!

I was losing my mind and that made me even more all over the place. But now I know to relax and just take a deep breath and take things one step at a time.

My sanity is a reciprocal because the limit does not exist. Hehe geddit geddit? No? Okay....

So just breath and put one foot in front of the other, right? Sounds easy enough.

I want to just be excited in life again. I mean, I've been bitter and sad lately and I think that's just a no good state of mind to be in. At first, being miserable felt good but then I realised that that gets old after a while. I grew tired of that gloomy brooding aura.

So I'm gonna be happy. :D

I'm gonna be happy and think as many happy and good thoughts. And since its Lent, its the perfect time to reinvent ourselves for the better.

I'm going back to basics. If you want to be happy, be. There shouldn't be anything else in that equation. Happy equals happy.

I've been worried at how I am perceived. Do people think I'm weird? Do people think I'm stupid? And I realised that's such silly thoughts. People actually think of you much less than you think. I forgot that.

I want to be kinder and make others be happy too. And I want to surround myself with good, positive and happy people.

I once knew a person who was very kind. She was average as far as looks go, but my oh my, her heart shone. I wanted to be around her more and more.

I want to be like that.

And I also want to stop cursing heheeee. I've been saying foul things far too much, its disgusting.

Just A Lil Update

Ok semangat wanna update blog even though I am DROWNING in piles of work! First and foremost, I would like to announce that I hate Twitter.

My lecturer is doing this thing where her students have to post a response of a reading by using tweet. I was like, "Oh duck!" cause I did not have an account and I knew it was gonna get addicting really quickly.

But what to do, just make la and cross my fingers that I have enough self control to use it strictly for education.

Yesterday, I found out that I had no trouble with self control because Twitter sucks imho. I fail to see what's so addicting and great about it. In fact, I feel annoyed by it. I mean, isn't it a little presumptious to think that people are actually interested in every single thought you can fit into 140 characters?

*ahem* This blog doesn't count hoho. *presumptious AND hypocritical hehe

One of the things that I'm annoyed at is that my tweet didn't even come up the hashtag search thingy! Meaning, my lecturer didn't even see the tweet! Meaning my quota was used up in vain. T.T

Life, why are you like this?

I also pulled my first all nighter to finish up my lab report. I stayed up till 5 am and slept till 6am which is an UNGODLY HOUR TO WAKE UP but yeah, I did it. I left the house at 7am to arrive at school at 7.20 simply because I am terrified of my chemistry lecturer. She's scary... So scary that I have nightmares of arriving late to her class which starts at 8am lol. Just give me an A already!

Every week feels so dizzying and theres so much stuff to do! I finish classes with exhaustion and slept through my 2 hour break with sleep. My favorite part of every day is when there is no class.

Then again, I bet everyone else feels the same way too.

I think I'm eating more these days as well. I am never hungry but I eat a lot. Such logic, I know. But I have been eating to make excuses to procrastinate, which I SHOULD NOT DO because there is never enough hours in a day.

And tomorrow I have a calculus quiz and an engineering test and it is already 2:18am! *screamsqueal