Song Joong Ki Was In My Dream!!

I had a wonderful dream last night! It was so wonderful that I refused to wake up to study for my calculus and organic chemistry quiz that was going to happen 3 hours later.

It was so wonderful cause Song Joong Ki was in it and he was in love with me lol.

Somehow it made so much sense as I was dreaming it and now it feels so disconnected and vague. What I remember was:

1. Song Joong Ki was in a parallel universe on a mission and the only way we could contact was if I was dreaming.

2. Nobody could know that I could contact Song Joong Ki.
     2.5 But someone (my best friend) did find out, and she was freaking out and I dramatically cut off my friendship with her.

3. Song Joong Ki's right hand man in my dream was Seo Dae Young.

Ya, that's all sadly. But I remember that it was so awesome!!!

My alarm totally ruined the whole thing.

Gif Of Chen Winking

I think Chen may have bumped Tao for first place in my exo bias list.



"When you cry, the sun shines"

March 2014 Has Passed Already?!

A no sense post to end March :D If you can tolerate my constant blabber that is.

I can't believe its the end of March already! So much has happened (actually all that happened is getting the SPM results)

First, after getting results is going back to kampung last weekend. By coincidence, that weekend my parents and uncles and aunts and distant relatives had planned to make a family meeting so they would never lose touch.

A lot of people asked me what I want to do what I want to do when I grow up now. I guess I am kinda grown up now, at least grown up enough to have to think about this latest nuisance.

My answer had always changed throughout my life and now I know what the true answer is. I don't know. *lol facepalm

 Basically the general answer is "Whatever that makes me filthy rich in the future". =.=

I need to wake up and be brave. I can't be worried that I might hate my life in the future. I can't be worried about things that I haven't experienced yet, that's just irrational.

BUT I CAN'T HELP HAVING THE NEED TO PULL MY HAIR FROM MY SCALP!

There's that frustrating  feeling of butterflies multiplying in my tummy again. Always there to remind me of the future that isn't predictable. I admire people who would think of this as an adventure and take it all in stride but that's just not me.

I commented on Sarah's blog that everything would end up fine, and if it doesn't then that means that its not the end of things yet.

So, I'm going to try to be positive and optimistic! :D

Another thing that happened is that my taste in shopping just upgraded lol. Suddenly all the cheap items have no attraction to me! In fact, I just bought RM 130 worth of products from the body shop the other day and I never usually spend that much in one go.... Is this good or bad.

I saw a top at Padini that is very gorgeous (*salivate) and I have wanted to buy it for a long time but.... its RM 120! That's more than my usual entire outfit put together!! It's right in front of the shop so every time I pass the shop, I'd be sighing because this particular shirt is almost never on sale.

It was on sale once for 20% but I thought... its Padini. Padini always has crazier sales. Now Padini has a huge sale but that particular top isn't even 10% off. Come on shopping luck! Work!

Btw, I wrote about a pair of jeans a few weeks ago.

I saw these pair of acid washed jeans and they were on a buy one free one sale. I wished I had a friend to share the free one sigh at that moment. I think it was around RM 88 which is super expensive for me. So, I just sorta caressed it and left to the general direction of Etude House where I once again regained joy.

And I bought it!! My cheapskate luck worked and it was on sale and I bought it for RM 35+-+-.

I've also found a new favorite book! Its been a while since I've read a new very good book. I read the divergent series recently because the movie came out but its just not working for me. So to keep myself occupied, I re-read the Harry Potter series. But now, I found a book called Persephone by Kaitlin Bevis. Really interesting eh! My knowledge in Greek mythology has leveled up drastically (hail wikipedia!)! I wanna read more books with greek mythology!

Maybe I should become a greek mythology professor, if such an occupation really exists.

    

I keep thinking of Nana as Aphrodite in my head. Need two pics cause she's so beautiful *starstruck

I read the the whole three books in the series in 2 days. That's how good it is. I know its silly but I've always had a stupid habit of getting too emotionally attached to characters in books I read. Even right now I'm experiencing book-end-withdrawal and I've been moping around goodreads trying to find another treasure.

I should go slow and savour it next time, like when people drink wine.

I'm so thankful that such good and entertaining books exist. Reading is the best on a boring, uneventful day. Sigh, I hope that when I go to school again, I'd have time to read but somehow, I have a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach that I won't because I'll be so busy.

When Jong Suk Does Aegyo

Found at : http://leejongsukindo.tumblr.com/

Asian Equivalent of Mathias

I think I have found the asian equivalent of Mathias Lauridsen!

I don't know if its just me or what but they look quite similar right? His name is Lee Jong Suk.

His drama, I Hear Your Voice, is soooo nice! My main reason for watching the drama at first was Lee Jong Suk but the plot was so amazing, wah, I don't have words for it. It's different than the normal K-Dramas I usually watch.

Usually, I watch the clumsy lame poor schoolgirl capturing the attention of the cool, rich guy but his parents are against it. Or maybe the girl likes the guy but he doesn't know she exists until something happens and poof they're together. Yeah, its usually things like that isn't it?

But I Hear Your Voice is more than that, its scary and sad and touching and you just feel a lot of emotions a human can't give you in real life. Does that make sense?

Well, anyway, its a great drama.

Move aside Lee Min Ho! I have a new favorite actor hoho. I like his eyebrows and mouth as his best features. Cause his eyebrows look very Korean-like and his mouth looks like Do Kyungsoo's from EXO. If this beauty wasn't man made, then the angels must have sprinkled more love into his creation...

I'm still trying my best to learn Korean. So far, I can only say a few phrases but my reading and writing is getting faster and more imprinted into my brain. Yay, progress. ^^

I hope one day, I can go to Korea and talk to Koreans in Korean. And also, I hope that soon, I can watch my dramas without the need of an english sub. Subs are so annoying, cause I can't look at the actors' faces when reading. And its even more annoying when the subs are in Malay. Its just not right!

Height Complaining

This gave me hope haha. D.O, Chen, Suho and Xiumin are the shortest among the SM boys, AND! If I wear heels, I might be able to reach Chen's height.

Thank God for the invention of heels right?

Dahlah I'm so short, the proportion is way out of balance. My torso is long and my legs are short. Ya, unsexy. But its ok... its ok. Cause I haven't stopped growing yet. I'm only 18 years old this year, I'm bound to grow some more if I stuff cheese and milk and calcium pills down my throat right right?? *nervous laugh

Current height : 157 cm

Plus, I sleep 10 hours a day these days so I am bound to grow taller. I just hope that I'll be able to reach 160cm please please please.

Really, the worst thing that could happen now is that 157cm isn't really my real height and I'm actually shorter wtf that would be damn unlucky for me.

I will not give up! *bang table

I am not destined to be a hobbit!!

I have a friend named Richmond and he's super duper tall, about as tall as EXO's Kris (the tallest guy in the pic up there). I guess Richmond is around 185cm I think. Anyway, he's so tall, he can be a model or an idol. He and Kris have two things in common, height and a deep voice.

If only Richmond could shave some of his height off and give some to me. Though I doubt if humans could divide their height, he would give some to me.

Today, I ate maggi noodles, 2 pieces of chicken, french fries (little bit), chocolate pastry, 2 pieces of chocolate, 1 mug of green tea. I don't know why I wrote that, but somethings missing. My riceeeeeee.

But right now, I want some ppopgi.... yummy.

EXO RUMOURS AND I'M A LOSER

I read some rumours about EXO and my love for them declined dramatically.

Then I realised pshfft, whatever, even if it's true, I'll just fall in love with their on screen personalities. But it's so hard to believe that what I'm watching on TV isn't the real them! The on screen them is so funny and close and kind. And the off screen them could be cruel and mean.

Haihhhh someone slap me cause I feel so loserish right now. No cool person would be sad because their favorite celebrities are accused. Or maybe I haven't seen the sun for so long I'm going insane. Or maybe my life is just so boring that my girl hormones are craving drama?

I'll just continue believing that EXO members are perfect haha. *deluded

Here's what the rumours said. It's not so horrible la, haha I kinda laughed at some things but to be honest I was so disheartened when I read this. EXO WHY AM I SO OBSESSED WITH YOU TO THE POINT OF LOSERISM?! The kpop world might be full of deceptions and I'm ok with that.

Yes it's true EXO-M is much closer in relationship than EXO-K. Absolutely true that the Chinese member stick together, because of being bullied and such by other trainees and SM staff.

First, I will go through each member and think of something I can share. There is a lot. Quickly, I will say that none of them are dating now, that is something I do know even now, even though some members may be interested in someone or something like that.

Suho – It's not so true that he's an asshole/douchebag, but he does not have any close friends in EXO. Before in trainee life he trained for quite a while so he considered himself above the others. That is why he also gained leader status, because of past experience. But the other members do not respect his experience that much, because he is not really admirable. He did not debut for a while because he was not ready by the company's judgement, so they see him as more of a failure than experienced. The relationship between Kris is mutual respect, not friendship, and only since EXO was formed. As for dating, he has dated within SM a lot. Many of his girlfriends have since left SM or their career didn't work out for them. He had plastic surgery.

Kai – It's not true anymore that no one in EXO gets along with Kai, but around the time of this year until debut, maybe. It's because Kai got too much attention and the other members felt like they were in the shadow. Also Kai used his friendship with Taemin for status. Taemin/Kai is not just PR friendship as they really are friends since before but since EXO debuted they have not been in contact mostly at all. For most of the other trainees there is a big wall between trainee and debuted idol so many of them were jealous of his ability to do that. Since debut Kai's popularity has gone down so it has humbled him to the other members, truthfully. Many people said Kai has a girlfriend after debut, but he does not. He had a noona girlfriend before debut, but he has had a lot of girlfriends anyway. At his age it's not serious.

D.O – His relationship to the other members is more professional, not friends. He is friendly to staff and such, but he is a private person. Truthfully, he does not get along with everyone. The furthest distance is Chanyeol/Baekhyun, I have seen him be annoyed by them quickly many times. He thought he would be chosen for EXO-M and was surprised when Chen was chosen instead. When he thought that he would be chosen for EXO-M his attitude was good and he was prepared to have a life overseas. His dating life is very private, he keeps it to himself and does not let everyone know what is going on. He has a private circle of neighborhood friends and he still puts them above everything.

Chanyeol – I want to say to his fans to believe what you want. For me, I don't like him. He makes life very difficult for all staff because he does not behave well. In life, he thinks everything is a joke. He's very immature. And he is two-faced! There is one member who he really admires, of course, it's Kris. When he's around Kris he acts so different, like a good child. (Actually, many of the EXO members admire Kris). When Kris is not around he becomes the bad child again. I can't say how I know, but he is racist AND homophobic as well. He really thinks homophobic jokes are funny. As for dating, he did date a trainee everyone knows about, but he cheated on her before. His type is the voluptuous club girl with sexy clothes. He had a lot of plastic surgery.

Baekhyun – He is also not nice. He's so two-faced, who you see on TV is not the real Baekhyun. He gets along with Chanyeol so well because they are the same type, so immature and think everything is a joke. Baekhyun is the coldest to the Chinese trainees, even more than Chanyeol. He is not really close to Tao like they say. He felt sorry for Xiu Min and Chen when they were chosen for EXO-M and to leave Korea, but happy that it wasn't him. He really looks at Chinese as lesser than Korean. As for dating, he says he likes the cute type but it's not true, he likes sexy, well-endowed in the right place type of girls. Between Baekhyun/Chanyeol is a wall between the other members. No one will challenge them because they really gained a lot of popularity since debut and so they help promote EXO. On screen, their personalities are the strongest, but off screen it becomes annoying.

Sehun – I know, everyone is thinking of Lu Han, but it is not true that Sehun is in romantic love with Lu Han. During trainee days, Sehun did not have many friends. Lu Han was the first true friend he made in the company, and Sehun becomes clingy to friends easily. Behind the scenes, he is not easy to get along with. Not because he is mean. He doesn't read the atmosphere very well and he is the most difficult case to make camera-ready because his answers are so short and he is always disinterested. The company noticed Sehun and Lu Han's friendship and used that to film the joint teaser. This is the type of thing the company will watch for, which quality they can emphasize to gain public interest. Since debut, Sehun and Lu Han do not talk as much and Lu Han already made different friends in EXO-M, but Sehun is not very outgoing so he is still a little bit alone, even though he is not disliked. As for dating, he has not had a serious relationship beyond girls in school. I do not think he ever dated within SM.

Kris – Kris is a private person. When he first joined SM as a trainee, he was very motivated and wanted to learn everything, like a child. But he was told before directly by staff that he wasn't good at anything, even up to this year. He thought he wouldn't debut at one point, but he was too scared to quit the company because of the debt he incurred as a trainee would be hard on his family to pay back. I think for him, middle of 2009 is the lowest point in his life. In the past, he had depression and low self-esteem. Even though now he is a celebrity, he has not forgotten that time. He did not start out that way but until the time of EXO's debut, he became a very wise, empathetic person. Sorry if you want to hear bad things about him but he did not do anything bad. Most of his bad points are within himself. This is why the other members really look up to him like an ideal type of guy they want to become. It's not true that he thought he would join EXO-K, actually I do not think he ever considered not being chosen for EXO-M. When EXO is 12, he is the leader. As for dating, yes he had a girlfriend, but sorry I can't tell more. The girl idols who were cold to him when he was a trainee, you can see which ones they are by the way he looks at them now. 

Lay – Lay was a trainee for a long time but he was treated more highly than Kris because of his dance skill, but not equal to the Korean trainees still because he is Chinese and that is considered lower by the other trainees and staff. Lay and Kris are only somewhat close even after knowing each other 4 years, but Lay had the advantage as a trainee whereas Kris was a low trainee and they did not really become very close. Lay became closer to other trainees. When he danced for SHINee, he looked at them as a fan who got to go on stage with their idol, not like a professional from the same company. Lay became closer to Lu Han because Lu Han was also a more advanced trainee than the low trainees (but still under Koreans). Lay is very tied to Chinese culture, but at one point he did want to debut in Korea instead, because Kpop is so popular and the entertainment scene in China is very structured and more humble. As for dating, he dated a Chinese girl for a long time and maintained a long distance relationship. He never dated a Korean girl, or if he did it was not significant.

Lu Han – There are many things I want to fix besides Sehun. He was not a JYP trainee, also he did not join SM in 2008. He came to Korea to become a trainee, yes, but he was stopped by his parents. His parents do oppose him being a celebrity but he will always save face for them and he would never admit it. He is not a bad person, but he did lie to his parents about why he wanted to come to Korea. That's why they called him back home. He returned to Korea in 2010 and that's when he became a trainee. He went through regular auditions like anyone else. I know there is some "evidence" to show he was a trainee since 2008 but it's not true that he was waiting because of SM. SM does not extend enough to make someone wait 2 years to be a trainee. If you are not available at the time then you aren't a trainee. He does make friends easily, but he is always especially nice to the person who has the most trouble fitting in, like Sehun in Korea or Xiu Min in China. He can't stand to see someone left out or ostracized. He is also close to Lay, but not in the same way. They are truly just like bros. Lu Han really admires Kris, even though he does not show it on screen. As for dating, you couldn't believe it with his face but he is always being dumped. He says he likes quiet and calm girls, but from what I have seen, it's actually the opposite. He will be attracted to girls others would consider challenging. It is true that he almost had plastic surgery on his nose.Oh, I want to say one thing about the scars on his face. It's from a fight. He is not violent himself but he does end up as the victim of fights, because he is small and an easy target. The fight was very cold, because the other guy purposefully wanted to mess up his face. And it's not true he wasn't bullied as a trainee. In fact, other trainees did harass him sometimes. He blames lots of things on himself, which is sad.

Tao – It is true that many of the trainees didn't like Tao. Tao is confident in himself, but he is also so warm and nice that it was sad to watch. Before EXO, out of all the trainees Kris and Tao were considered the lowest. Lu Han and Lay were above them, and then the Koreans above Lu Han and Lay. So, they are especially close, although after debut now that they are all equals their relationships are changing a little. Also, it is not true that Tao smokes or drinks, it's the opposite. He treats his body very well because of his martial arts practice. When he first became a trainee, he would always buy Starbucks, because in China to drink Starbucks is a luxury, but now that has worn off. Tao comes from a commoner family so he was the most dazzled by celebrity life.I forgot to say that part: Tao comes from a commoner family (middle lower class by Chinese standards which would be low class by American standards), Kris comes from a family that was poor in the past, and Lu Han comes from a wealthy family. Kris and Tao send any money they get back home. Lu Han does not. He does not talk about his family life much so I don't know why.

Xiu Min – I feel like he is okay now, but in the past he was very depressed about being chosen for EXO-M. Among the Korean trainees, he started out high but dropped to very low. Many people thought he wouldn't be a good type for an idol. He was chosen for EXO because he began to work really hard and show he would not quit. Everyone is very sensitive towards him because of his anxieties. Oh, and it's not because he doesn't like China, actually he was one of the closest Korean trainees to the Chinese trainees and did not think of them as lower. Because the team comforted him he feels better now, but he still wishes he was not viewed as lower than the Chinese members by the media. As for dating, I think he has the least experience out of all the EXO members.

Chen – Chen also did not feel happy at first with being chosen for EXO-M, but it was his only choice to debut as an idol, or else leave SM. Chen was not as close to the Chinese trainees before debut so he is more distant from them than Xiu Min. Chen really admires Kris a lot, and so they became a little closer, but Kris still remembers the time when he was a low trainee and the Korean trainees didn't look at him seriously, so it's a little difficult. Chen did not bully them, though. He joined late so he didn't have a history, it's just that he became with the Korean trainees quickly. When he was chosen for EXO-M, the Korean trainees didn't talk to him as much. The debut period was the hardest on him, and he covered up a lot. He's much more comfortable now. As for dating, he had a long-term girlfriend who he broke up with when he became confirmed for EXO. He had her picture set on his KaKao ID up until debut. I don't think there are any remaining feelings now.

All of them got skin treatments before debut. Kris and Lu Han had their teeth fixed. Chanyeol and Suho had plastic surgery. The company asked Lay to have plastic surgery but he really felt strongly against it. In EXO-K, all of the members come from lower to upper middle class families. The wealthiest member of EXO-M is Lu Han of course. He will always treat the others though and he doesn't like to talk about money. And he doesn't have much interest in designer clothes and things besides accessories. Actually before debut, Lu Han was a fashion black hole. Tao is interested in designer things, not just Gucci but he likes luxury brands. EXO cannot yet afford these things so he will have to wait a little while longer. Chanyeol is also interested in designer things, but more like street or hip hop fashion. He buys many of his own clothes that you can see him wearing even in MVs.The group is not "OT12" and they are pretty comfortable in their own teams. The Chinese members do check the internet for comments about them, but the Korean members don't. Besides Taemin and Kai, none of the EXO members were really close to any debuted idols. Kris became close to Amber because of SMTOWN. They are not particularly close to Zhou Mi and Henry either, there is some tension there.There's more in my head if anyone has another question but this is just a summary. If I said I can't share something then I can't share it, sorry. I won't expose myself."

On another related note, The Heirs has finally ended T___T *sobs What should I do with my life now?? Continue drawing circles in the corner I guess haha.

I wanna get a job sooooo badly but I'm a coward. And also my mom keeps promising to send me to places to hunt for jobs (cough like today cough) but she keeps on breaking those promises haih mommy why u no support daughter's dreams.

And I'm so sick of staying at home only so sick so sick so sick!!!!! I was planning to go to Tiara's prom but it didn't work out and at that time, my head wasn't throbbing like it was going to explode. But now I feel like I wanna punch someone and tear my hair off my scalp.

Daebak this is the power of boredom,

Tomorrow I planned to go to my class party and for a few days before, that was what kept me sane. The thought that I could dress up and make up and go hang out with someone. Then the date changed. Before this the date was changed from 14th to 20th to next year to 15th to 16th and I thought that finally we agreed on 15th. But then people voted on another different date and I thought, ugh, screw it, I'm not going to something with people I'm not close to and pay RM35 for it.

Screw it screw it screw it. You can tell that I'm a 'little' bit upset lol.

Ah well. My mood was good at the beginning of this post then decreased dramatically. See, this is what I said about my hormones craving drama. I'm making a drama all by myself now.

Hahaha, annyeong!

Korean Obsession

It has been a month of post-school-days and I'm so culture shocked by this freedom haha. First freedom-ish thing I did was to dye my hair a yellow brown colour. To be honest, its a bit too yellow for my taste so I'm gonna darken it a bit soon.

No pics though haha, I don't take pictures of myself often.

And with my sudden abundance of free time, I started to learn Korean. So far, I've finished learning how to read it and learning random words. My pronunciation still sucks though.

눈 (nun) eyes

보조개 (bo jo gae) dimples

Just simple words but I feel so proud hoho. Korea here I come! But have to get degree, job and money first. T__T And also, I've got a long way to go in learning a new language.

Recently I've been thinking about how awesome university life is gonna be. I've talked to my cousin about it and she said that its not really all that but she talked about carnivals and projects and outings how is that not all that?! I'm so starstruck with the idea of university/leaving home. :D So I'm really excited for SPM results to come out. COME FASTER!빨리!!!!

Ugh, I am so addicted to korean culture. Its just so fascinating!!! The kpop idols are the most fascinating hehe cause they're so beautiful and perfect. Maybe I should go to Korea for university. Then I'd kill two birds with one stone, go to Uni and go to Korea.... meet a Korean man and get married and have korean children haha. Then me and Korea would be connected by blood! *psycho

In fact, I'm so obsessed with Korean culture that I never go out in the sun if I could help it so I could achieve their fair skin look. These past few years, I have turned a bit dark for some reason that I don't know. During the day, I would keep my curtains closed and when night comes, I open it to ventilate my room. I don't notice any difference yet (T_T) but I'm gonna keep trying. Buy whitening products, go to whitening facials and keep out of the sun. And sunscreen. Always suncreen.

I don't know why westerners want dark, tanned, bronzed skin. Its NOT good for your skin and I don't think it looks nice. Well, to each their own.

Except Tao. Tao rocks his dark skin. But Tao isn't korean, he's chinese. He looks so good in that bulletproof vest! <3

EXO EXO WE WANT EXO!

Today I'm gonna spam my blog with EXO. Like A LOT OF EXO.

Sarah loves Lay. I don't know if this guy is Lay actually. I think it is? This was from Running Man episoe 171 when Lay was trying to say 'Jong Kook hyung'

Actually, that episode of Running Man was when I saw (and fell in love with) EXO for the first time. I think its cause they made eye contact with the camera a lot.

(Eye contact makes you fall in love and if you make eye contact for 8 seconds when you meet sometime for the first time, it could lead to love at first sight or hate *fyeah EST student)

BUT OMAIGAWD SEHUN IS SO COOL. Look at the way he sticks his tongue out. He does it so photogenically.

Lay and Tao *faints from gorgeousness

By the way, does anyone else notice that Tao has elf ears? Its pointed at the tip. And his nose is so straight ad his jawline is so defined. If I stand next to him it would look like plastic surgery before and after.

(Revives from looking at Kris) 

And Luhan!!!! He's wearing eyeliner. I like how his teeth is so straight and white. When I earn my own money, its straight to surgery with my teeth. I don't think I can stand waiting for braces to set. That's two, three years! That's one of the things on top of my must-do list, get straight teeth in 5 years.

Oh my goodness, how can these boys be so talented, good looking, charismatic and cute? How can???

One of my classmates looks like Sehun! His name is Li Xuan and when I told him so, he said he loves Sehun. Hahahaha. And when I said I love Sehun and Tao, he said he loves Tao too!!! Unfortunately, Li Xuan is kind of mean and takes jokes too far.

Sehun's ideal type is :

160cm-164cm. Dang it, I missed the minimum requirement by 6 cm! *makes note to drink more milk

Prefers older girls. He's 19 now, and I'm 17. Oppa, don't you like younger girls?

He prefers kind girls. Yeah, well, don't all boys?

He likes Miranda Kerr. Whaaaaat? (I like her too haha.)

Likes pale skin. *goes to bleach skin

WEIGHT IS 99 POUNDS WTF SEHUN YOU'RE DATING BARBIE. Seriously, 160 cm and weighing that little? He must like models. Oh wait.... Miranda Kerr...

HAIYA ALL OF THESE CRITERIAS DON'T APPLY TO ME! Except he likes bubbly girls, and I'm bubbly right right right? And he likes double eyelids and I have double eyelids! And he likes neat girls and I'm neat what!

Hohoho, there's a chance after all. *delusional

And this is for Sarah, who is also a fan of EXO who likes Lay.

1)Kind

2)Respectful

3)Someone who's shorter than he is.

4)Long hair

5)Someone who's cute.

Hmmmm. It's weird cause Sarah has all these characteristics. Sehun-ah whyyyyyy! *moody and dark

But I still love Sehun cause I'm just that faithful.