New URL (Updated) siorlasair.blogspot.com

After a long time of contemplating, and countless Arrgs and Haiyas over taken blog names, I have come to the decision of changing my url to...

siorlasair.blogspot.com

It means, Eternal Flame.

Because purcrystally.blogspot.com is just... lame, don't you think?

chrysalis.blogspot.com (Taken)
iridescent.blogspot.com (Taken)
crystallure.blogspot.com (Available!!) but then it sounded like Crystal Airliur which meant slobber so don't want!

Finally, I just chose siorlasair.blogspot.com because its easier.



Who are these people who takes all the weird names? I checked http://crystal.blogspot.com/, and there was only one stupid post... with 2 words! Wouldn't it be nice to delete that and give me the name? http://iridescent.blogspot.com/ only has one post too, back in 2001. T__T http://chrysalis.blogspot.com/ has no posts all.


I don't know if anyone besides my friends in school read my blog, but I somehow have a lot of russian readers (Hello there! Shoutout to you!!). How did you guys find my lonesome blog anyway? But I know who regularly reads my blogs and those are the one and only, Caroline-unnie, Vanissa-unnie, Sarah-unnie, and Frieda-unnie! I don't know if they would let me link their blogs but if I get their permission, I would put their links on the sidebar.

On a completely different note, I am forced to start tennis lessons today. As they say, as one door closes, another one opens. As in, I stopped being so enthusiastic about fencing and now I'm doing tennis. And its just for the better I guess, I'm gaining weight at an alrming rate. Yesterday, after I had recess, I had to open my pinafore pin because I was too bloated.

Just hope I won't fall down and embarass myself... again. Cause if that happened, that would be twice this week that gravity embarasses me.

Anyway, I will be changing the URL soon so if purcrystally.blogspot.com doesn't work anymore, it would be siorlasair.blogspot.com.

Pronounced as sheer-la-sur.

See you guys soon and bye!



 

 

 



Success Is A Choice

Change the way you think. A parachute only works if it is open.

Today, the counselling unit in my school organized a motivational talk and I loved it!

Everybody is a champion, so you must be thinking. If I am a champion, why am I like this?! Well, its everything around us like facebook, texting, 9gag, blogging, shopping or sleeping that is putting that champion to sleep. So, the speaker told us 17 steps to bring out the champion in ourselves.

Number 1 : Believe
Pick a colour, either red, yellow, green or blue, he said. And I chose..... YELLOW! Because there wasn't any pink, yellow was the best colour I saw there. Which meant I am creative. Could this be any more wrong?? Haha, red would be emotional, blue would be analytical and green would be organized. Aww, I'm creative? I guess in a sense, I could be when it comes to writing. But in art and drawing, I would get rotten tomatoes thrown at me.

Did you know that Thomas Edison only had 3 months of school? Because his teacher told him that he was stupid so his mother taught him herself. She said that he was so smart, that even the teacher couldn't teach him. I think that teacher is stupid. All teachers should study psychology so that they could find out a good method to teach. Like my chemistry teacher, shes a really good teacher, very informative. But when she teaches, the pace is too fast and I end up not understanding a single thing.

And then there is my Form 3 maths teacher. I used to hate maths ever since I got my butt hit by a teacher back when I was 10 because I didn't know my multiplications. Ever since then I refused to do anything with math and ended up getting a B on my UPSR. But my Form 3 maths teacher is so kind and loving. I was never scared to ask her anything and she never gets tired of explaining! I LOVE HER!!!! Everytime she finishes explaining one thing she would stop and thats when we could ask questions.


2. Relieve stress

3. Do It Now.
For this one, he said that we have to act now. Early bird gets the worm right? We can't wait for permission from other people.

4. Unleash The Champion
What makes a lazy person is the ridiculous amount of No's that is said to the person. NO NO NO DON'T DO THIS DON'T DO THAT WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING??!! So in the end we'll just go on Facebook, where we have the freedom to say what's on our mind, or play games where we have the freedom to do the things we aren't allowed to do.

5. Physical Mystery
Make sure you are healthy. Eat fruits and vegetables, drink lots of water and all that jazz.

6. Clear Thinking
You have to be confident that you can achieve your goals. Be sure of your goal in life and all that jazz.

7. Positive attitude.
A certain purple annoying person was sitting behind me half the time just now. He kept on complaining how hot it is, how boring it is and acted aas if thatpurple shirt of his gave him license to bother me by tapping my back.

8. Power Of Communication

9. Sharpen Your Memory

10. Power Of Focus.


The speaker also told us to draw a picture of ourselves and write our names underneath. Then he snuck up behind me somehow and asked me what I wanted to be! I actually don't know what I wanted to be when I grow up, so I cracked under the pressure and randomly said PR. Haiya, what is wrong with me!!!

Actually I already have kind of a sense of what I want to become.

Something to do with writing because I think my best subject is English. So I want to write columns for magazines or newspapers, possibly about beauty! Because I love anything beauty!! So yeah, I wanna write beauty columns. Then I will work my way up the ladder and soon become editor of a magazine! Then I will design my own beauty brand and soon I WILL BE RULER OF THE WORLD!!!

Ah crap. My secret is out.

I have always admired the beauty magazines eventhough I have only read Cleo mag, I still love it! I will pour my heart and soul into reading it! I don't know why I haven't thought of it before but I really really really want to do this! I want to write for Cleo someday!!!!

I know my career choice always changes but I don't want to be miserable my whole life because I'm forced to choose my career at 16.

For now, its best to just work hard on homework and exams.

Dreams, Embarassments and Stalking

I feel like banging my head against the wall.

I feel like setting myself on fire.

I feel like going to sleep just to take the misery away.

I just went through my timeline just to see all my past conversations and pics. It was okay... but only for a while. Because then, I saw this conversation which was stupid and that conversation which was worth posting on 9gag and gaaaaah!!! I could die out of embarassment. And to think I only made it till April 2012 before the embarassment made me lose my sanity...

Maybe I should just delete my facebook profile. Or maybe I should just let it die over there. Ugh nevermind la, at least I am secure to the fact that nobody visits my profile. Which I shall keep on thinking is a positive thing!

So I shall digress. Do I have a problem? Yes. Can I do anything about it? Yes, but I'm too lazy. So why worry?

And just like that my embarassment vanished.

Lately, I have been having really weird dreams. Two nights ago was a particularly creepy dream.

You never know how dreams start out, but I remember mine as my lower front teeth being loose. Being 16, that was really weird but in the dream, it felt like a part of daily life. So, I twisted it because I felt that it was so troublesome. Well, somehow, that single tooth became almost four of my teeth and half of my teeth came out!! Then, the teeth that grew out was so out of place that I was desperate to push them with my fingers to their proper place. Then, f(x) which is a korean girl group who was living in my house saw me and rushed me towards the hospital. The end.


Could this be from my subconscious that I really want braces??

One theory is that dreams about your teeth reflect your anxieties about your appearance and how others perceive you. Your teeth help to convey an image of attractiveness and play an important role in the game of flirtation, whether it is flashing those pearly white, kissing or necking. Thus, such dreams may stem from a fear of rejection, sexual impotence or the consequences of getting old. To support this notion, a dream research found that women in menopause report to have frequent dreams about teeth. This points to teeth dreams as being related to getting older and/or feeling unattractive and less feminine. Teeth are an important feature to your attractiveness and how you are presented to others. Caring about how you look is natural and healthy.

Can this be anymore accurate?


Okay, I just read a lot of articles and it mostly have something to do with emotion. Hmm... I have been feeling lonely a lot. I really miss my friends. And I feel imbalanced because of the lck of money spending.

I used to tell my mom that I was dreaming about people dying and she said its okay, as long as I don't dream about my teeth falling because that would mean that someone would die. T___T

*nervous laugh

Hahaha, I don't think anything bad will happen. It was just a dream, right?

On to a totally different topic. School is starting next Monday and I haven't done my homework yet!! Haiya, why am I like this. Even when I have nothing to do, I still choose to watch leaves fall rather than do homework. Oh well, I'll just live on the dangerous side. I didn't choose the gangsta life, the gangsta life chose me.

Ahhhh!!! I really don't like school! Eventhough I feel lonely, I would rather be lonely than stay in school. And if they don't give us homework, or  to come to school on Saturdays and ask us to stay till 3pm, I think I would be okay with the classes. And if they didn't do extra class, I would be more willing to attend school! Isn't it illegal to make extra classes or something? I promise I won't fail on SPM!!!

Ahh SPM, I don't know how I'll go about it. Since I am failing almost everything now and I am currently motivated to do nothing when I am in the school premise. Actually, school isn't hard at all. But it is definitely troublesome! Even the recess time which is a ridiculous 20 minutes is troublesome!!!!

20 MINUTES! It takes 5 minutes to get to the canteen. 5 minutes to order your food. 5 minutes to eat. And then you have to be shooed away by the prefects to go wait for the stairs to open and get checked. So when is our time to go to the toilet? Of course la, have to choose between stomach and bladder. But I would choose stomach because I would go to the toilet during class.

That rant didn't make me feel better... it just made me that much more heavy hearted to go back to school. :(


I need something to take my mind off!!! So, I'm going to put in some snippets from my diary back in 2008.

6th May 2008 - Big Brother is going to Matrikulasi! I'm so worried, I'll try to manage. (Tears)

What a drama queen... and not in the good way either. Anyway, 4 years later, which is now, Big Brother is graduating in September!! I get why I was sad, because I had nobody to play with me anymore. It was his first time studying away from home. A year later, he graduated and went to Perlis. And now graduated and about to be the first of us to do real work!

25th July 2012 - Cyde knows I like him. How could this happen!!?? This is not happening to me. He looked angry when I came to tuition.... And I yelled at the. I really hate this. Maybe I should stop tuition with Cikgu Juriah. This is the worst day ever. Now I hate Cyde. I finally saw his true colours. At tuition, me and Tiara hid at the bathroom. Kurang ajar bha diorang tu. They said Tiara and I minta puji. I don't know la about that but tidak sedar diri ni diorang. And I never wanna see Cyde's face again! Never, ever, never! Hate him so much. Siapa bah yang bagi tau dia tu!! This is true! I really hate Cyde!!! Tiara also hate him.

Now I know how stupid I was. Once again, I am inflicting psychological trauma upon myself. Well, you must want to know the story about this Cyde guy.

He was cute, I liked him. A guy named Elzaro liked me, but he wasn't cute according to me. Cyde was a jerk, Elzaro was nice. So naturally, I'd go for the jerk. Then Cyde found out that I liked him and I cried in the bathroom. The end. Well, teenage relationships are insignificant anyway, so I don't care much about that. Oh yeah, I went through facebook and saw Cyde's then girlfriend. I could kinda see why he liked her over me at that time, because hey, have you seen my IC pic? Ugly.... And really, I was a 'minta puji' girl, even now!

But now... Haha! I'm better than her! *I know that's a vain thing to say but I don't care

And since we're talking about facebook. I saw some pictures of girls from All.S and I just hate but love seeing them at the same time! I hate seeing them because they're pretty, obviously privileged, living a dangerous party life, wearing singlets and tank tops and everything I wouldn't dare to do. But I love seeing their pics because deep down, I know I'm better than them haha! I don't know why but secretly, I see some people that I'm jealous of and hate myself for being not them, but at the same time I think I'm better than them. This doesn't apply to everyone though, there are some people that I am sincerely happy for but for people like the sexy girls on facebook (they're 16 like me) well... The only consolation I can think up for myself is that I'm smarter because... I would see their pictures, be jealous on cue, then see the comments and gasp at the way they talk.

16% JEALOUS, 41% SCOFFING%, 23% HATE, 10% LOVE.

Sigh, I am so pathetic! Ya la ya la! I'm being judgmental today! Stop it, Crystal. Stop stalking other girls' profile and pics! This is why I'm dreaming about my teeth falling out!

Yes, now you see the dark side of me! MUAHAHAHA!



If you're smart, you would've noticed that the percentages doesn't add up to 100% haha.

Simply Overwhelmed

As the title states, I am overwhelmed.

It has been a week since the holiday started and its time to go to school soon. T___T

I really wish that I could get my education over with because I don't want to go to school anymore. Yeah sure, people say that high school is the best part of life and I should stay here as for as long as I can but... I wanna be my own boss!!

Which is why I one of my dreams is to become...

A....


Boutique owner!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Right right right?

Since I love shopping, but I don't really wear the stuff that I want, but I'd feel weird if I don't buy it. And I want to travel around, to shop. And I like the thought of people wearing my style. But of course, I won't just put out my style because then there would just be that type of customer. Which just means that I could buy more types of clothes~~~yay~~~

My motto would be, "Making people prettier one garment at a time", or, "Lovely ladies with lovely clothes". Hahaha that's lame.  Ahh, even just thinking about it makes me drool!

Of course, I would have to take the risk of hiring someone to handle my finances because I don't take accounts. But I can learn that by myself right? Since my friends only took 6 months to learn that... Ahhh, I'll figure those things out later.

Then, the price would be super reasonable because I have felt the pain of seeing something I really want but having to say no, not because I don't have money! But because I'm cheapskate. Oh yeah, I'd also force all my employees to wear a black skirt and baby pink button-up top because I really hate the sight of cashiers or salesgirls with unprofessional clothing. Its really sore for the eyes! Hehe, btw have you seen the girl with the sore eyes? Funny!

Haih, but I would probably have to pass this dream, because I don't know a thing about business and actually, I really hate accounts. Just listening to my friends ask about the homework makes my blood run cold.

I should just be rich and buy clothes and donate those clothes to the poor. That would be easier... just marry a rich man la right! And while I'm at it, I would ask God that my husband will be tall, korean/british, rich, smart, doesn't cuss, gentle and sweet. What the hell, I'm describing the opposite of myself.

Okay la, I have a lot of things to work on myself, because to attract the person we want, we must be the person we want!

On a completely unrelated note..


Tomorrow is supposed to be a holiday...

But tomorrow, my class and the class next to us are going to endure 4 hours of chemistry. CHEMISTRY!!! Can you imagine!? I can't even go through an hour without being sleepy let alone four!

Yer, if I didn't have unnecessary class tomorrow, I could go to Tambunan with my family. Instead I'm stuck here. If I'm the only one who shows up, I would be really pissed! And I wanna go shopping also!!! If I was a boutique owner, I wouldn't do this to my employees. Because that employee would be me!!

Dear Sister

Dearest Sister,

You have just found out my blog name and url. Well, I shall be more than glad to inform you that I shall not surrender! Silly silly Sister. Please, sleep with your eyes open tonight. MUAHAHAHAHA!!!

Love,
Crystal

Building Abs Along The Way

I just watched the movie This Means War this morning. Its about two spies who happen to be bet friends who happen to fall in love with the same girl. And because they're spies, right, they go to extreme means to impress the girl.

And it was so fun to watch!!!! I love spy movies or anything cool like that!!! Like Batman (Bruce Wayne is hot), Mission Impossible (Tom Cruise is hot!!), Avengers (have you seen Captain America???!! I love Ironman the most though!), Spiderman (the first movie was the coolest, but the most recent one.... that ass!) and lots of other action movies la!

Except Transformers. I always imagined that the movie heroes are cool because they never complain and do what they do with such coolness. And they always keep their cool! But stupid Sam always complains... so... don't like!!

Anyway, I super duper love This Means War because they don't have just one hot man, they have TWO!!! *jumps on bed

TOM HARDY!!! I am totally going fangirl for this guy.

I don't know in real life but in the movie, I'd totally pick him over the other spy.

Yeah la, Chris Pine is cute too I guess.

Actually, I think Chris Pine is cuter than Tom Hardy by about 3.8734813%. But I have grown up! I choose to look at what's on the inside rather than looks! *pat self on back... or rather Tom pats my back

In the movie FDR (Chris Pine) is so arrogant and stuck up and such a playboy. Normally, that would be the guy I would be more attracted to (I'm always attracted to assholes who treat me like shit because I subconsciencely seek their approval).

But this time, (Tuck) Tom Hardy is the guy I was rooting for!!! Or, not rooting for because if the he got the girl, I would be infinitely jealous.

Maybe its the fact that Tuck was British and we all know British guys are sexy. But its more than that. He seemed much more caring and sweeter and his smile and jokes makes my heart melt. Now, if only I can find a guy like that. He has to be my age, speaks English well or there would be a language barrier between us since my Malay isn't that great and I can't speak Chinese at all. And he has to get a minimum 7A's in PMR.

Hmm, wait maybe that is a little too high of an expectation.

Ok ok.... 6A's then!!

Plus, he must have the proper etiquette and not be so rhapsodic as to encompass me with yucky I love you, you MUST LOVE ME BACK OR I'LL DIE OUT OF DEHYDRATION BECAUSE MY TEARS ARE FALLING AS LONG AS YOU DON'T ADMIT WE WERE MEANT FOR EACH OTHER CAN I CALL YOU MY WIFE NOW???!!!! kind of crap. And then.... he must bring out the better ME in ME.

OMG I JUST REMEMBERED!!! When I was 13, I jokingly told Jes that I wanted a boyfriend. Little did I know that she thought I was serious and since she had a lot of contacts at that time, gave a guy my number.

So that night, a guy from La Salle texted me and said Jes gave him my number when I asked who he was. I was like, WHY JES WHYYYY???! So, I just said oh... haha.

It was okay at first. I thought he was just trying to be friend (so naive!) so I got to know him a little. I only got to know that he was Form 5 at that time when...

Then the next text was "Wanna be my gf?" So unromantic!! What happened to chivalry? I want a guy looking into my eyes when he asks me a question as serious as that.

So I said, "No" obviously.

Then he said, "Haiya I go die la if you don't wanna be my gf,"

OH MY FUUUUU---- ENGLISH!

So I said "Fine, go die then!"

And he said, "I really go die this"

To which I wittily replied "Are you trying to get my pity? Because its not working okay!"

To which he UNwittily relpied "Hah? I'm not trying to get pity la"

To which I ignored him.

That escalated quite quickly. I wonder if at his current age which is approximately 21, he thinks it was a dumb moment of his life. The 13 year old girl that got away WTF LOL! Hmm, Crystal aka Heartbreaker lol.

But then again, I probably won't have a boyfriend at this time, as in before college, because, geez boys my age are real swell. *rolls eyes And who knows what I'm going to like in 5 years. I might have clear skin (big shiny eyes), leaner body (bigger shinier eyes) and a more enrapturing personality and intelligence?

But if I truly found the right one for me, the one who brings out the stupidest me, the one who can make me giggle stupidly just thinking about him, the one who gets that I pee a lot, the one who knows I always order iced lemon tea, who knows to shut up when it comes to my insecurities, the one who I will try to make jealous because I'm always like that, the one who I can talk to who will Oooh, Aaaah, Gasp, OH NO SHE DIDN'T and say WHAT A BITCH at the right time, who will watch Les Miz with me, who will embrace my unending dorkiness and who is always peaceful.

Gosh, just describing this dream guy makes my heart melt right now.

And I hope that when I do meet him, I won't screw things up.

And when I do meet him, I will remember this post and read all these impossible things I list down!

As a friend of mine once said...

He's coming to you as fast as he can, Crystal. Building abs along the way.



Purcrystally's Saving Money 101

As most of you well know or if you don't know, I am a money freak. I love the thought of having money stuffed up under my bed.. kinda like a sense of security you know. Anyway, here's a guide to money saving, Crystal style.

1. Always assume you are poor.
Always assume you are poor because then you'll be more critical to what you buy. Like, you wanna buy a lip gloss, and its RM 10, then you'll say, OMG THIS IS TOO EXPENSIVE! THIS SHOP IS ROBBING ME!!!! Then you storm out, and at the end of the day, you're RM 10 richer! WOOHOO!

And always your own water to school, you'll save RM 1! But I always forge my water haiya.

2. You'll love cheaper stuff more trust me.
When I was shopping a few months ago, I bought a dress for RM 20!!! Such a steal right! And it was gorgeous! I loved it so much not because it was gorgeous though, but it was gorgeous and cheap! And now I have no idea where it is, it got lost mysteriously. But I don't care, it was cheap anyway. Now, if I bought it for RM 100, I would be crying and freaking out right now, whic is not worth it. My RM 20 dress didn't do that to me, so yeah, I love it more now!

So yeah, I have come to be angry at my expensive clothes. I would just stare at it and imagine all the other stuff I could do with the money..

And a few months ago, I started buying mee sup from the malay canteen at school. I don't know if its the cheap price of RM 2 or what, but somehow it tastes better!

3. Minimalist is the way to go.
Only buy what you need obviously.

Like food? Pfft, food is for weaklings. Buy some bread that costs RM1 in school, for me thats already a feast.

Like water? Back to my other point, bring water from home.

Like underwear? Hmmm, this one is tricky.. Oh oh oh! There are some stores that sell underwear for RM 5 each if you buy in bulks! Like Parkson, in 1B, the underwear in the very back are super cheap and super comfy! Trust me, I know. I bought about 6 of them, for RM 30. There are also ones that are equally comfy, for RM 2 each cause I bought 5 of them for RM 10. And you know, you don't even need to buy cute ones cause nobody will see them anyway.

Omg, am I seriously going on and on about cheap underwear? Moving on...

Like clothes? I'm actually notiving clothes that are less than RM 30 now, you just have to know where to find them. :) Oh yeah!! Jevella, my classmate, brought some catalogs from her uncle's store! And they were mostly cheap stuff! I ordered a white top with pink stripes (or a pink top with white stripes) but it was out of stock. And it was only for RM 22 too, haiay, what  a shame...



Kinda like this, but pink, and bigger stripes.





4. Never lend untrustorthy friends money.
I learnt this the hard way. And if someone refuses to pay you, or conveniently forget, you should conveniently remind them. And by conveniently, I mean erupt your anger on them.

5. Don't spend money you don't have.
As in, don't ever borrow money. I have this 'friend' who just simply went through my purse and saw RM 30, and I guess she thought that I had the money to spare and took out RM 10 and said "Can I borrow?" Then she put it into her pocket before I could say anything!!! Although that happened 3 years ago, I am still very much pissed. But being the coward I am, I just decided to let that one go.

6. Don't leave money lying around.
3 years ago, I had RM 150 in my purse. And since that purse was too big to fit into my pocket, I just held it in my hand. Well, that was a bad idea to bring that much money to school because one day, I lost my purse. FML. Then, this year, I left my purse lying around while I went to fencing training. Then after 5 minutes, I realised my mistake and rushed to get my purse. By the time I got there and opened my purse, I lost RM 100. Double FML. Oh yeah, last year, I left my bag lying around somewhere, and it wasn't at school even, and lost RM 300. Triple FML. Carelessly this year, I left my purse inside my desk and that contained another RM 150! Thank God Caroline-unnie took it for me!

Moral of the story is, don't leave your money lying around!! Evil people who steal money are everywhere!!

7. Little by little goes a long way
I used to always leave my coins lying around the house. But now I don't and guess what! In a month, I manage to get about RM 16 worth of coins! So eventhough it soesn't seem like much, a drop of water raises the sea. Lol, where do I come up with that saying.

Repeat steps 1-7 your whole life and soon you will be a millionaire!! Yay!!!!

When you're...

When you're listening to music using earphones...

And then you hear people talking

pause to eavesdrop

AND THEY'LL NEVER KNOW I HEARD THEM!!!!!



Do you have a problem?

To : Vanissa

This was what I wanted to show you bha that but then Teacher Rosaline came to class. This usually helps me!:D



Hero

Okay, who has been keeping up with the olympics?? Definitely not me... Which is why on Tuesday, I was the only one clueless about Malaysia's defeat in badminton where Lee Chong Wei got a silver medal.

People were so sad and bummed at school that day and I didn't even know Lee Chong Wei was playing that night. Haiya, I fail as a citizen..

Anyway, Lee Chong Wei was against China's Lin Dan and it was 21-19. Chong Wei had an injury and had to take painkillers the whole time. And then when he lost, he shed tears and said sorry to the whole of Malaysia. No Lee Chong Wei, you have nothing to be sorry for! What else could the people ask from him other than his best.

Honestly, I don't see what the big deal is. He got a silver dammit! Isn't that already good enough? Frankly, I was nonplussed that Malaysia could get a medal at all. That fact is so palpable but why isn't anyone seeing it!

But then again, it could possibly be that people were down that day because we were already so close to winning our first gold medal in Malaysian history! FIRST! And to have that hope thrown to the floor and trampled on, well, maybe we aren't seeing the bigger picture.

You know what makes a bad scientist? When making an experiment and imagining only one possible outcome. And when the outcome is different than what we expected, we think we have failed.

But you know what, the world would be so much different if Newton, Einstein, (insert other great scientists here) thought that way. We never would've discovered the telephone if Alexander Graham Bell thought that way. We wouldn't know of flying contraptions if the Wright Brothers thought that way. And nobody could be successful thinking that way.

Which brings me to my next point. I believe that people won't find true happiness without gratitude. Because if we aren't content with what we already have, then we would never ever be satisfied, right? We would just keep wanting more and more and more but it will never be enought. Lee Chong Wei has tried his hardest to make Malaysia proud, and eventhough he really actually did, he thought that he failed. Sure, being in second place is a shitty place to be, but its not the worst. The worst would be the quitter's feelings. And I have experienced that first hand.

It was last year, in a fencing tournament. And I was put into the epee fencing match when in truth, I hae never even held an epee blade. So after my first match and losing miserably, I quit. And the feeling was horrible.

Maybe the Negaraku wasn't played this year, never mind la! Our flag was waving up there too!

Maybe we got second place. But hey! WE GOT A PLACE!

Maybe our hopes were too high... BUT HEY WE HAD HOPE!

I AM PROUD TO SAY THAT EVENTHOUGH I DON'T CARE MUCH ABOUT OLYMPICS OR SPORTS, I AM STILL A PROUD MALAYSIAN, SAYING THAT LEE CHONG WEI IS AWESOME AND INSPIRATIONAL. HE HAS BROUGHT THE WHOLE OF MALAYSIA TOGETHER.

Lee Chong Wei's spirit in the olympics and his determination is really moving.

As the commentator of ESPN said, skill wins you medals, but attitude wins hearts. Or something like that.

The Confidence Test

My Self-Made Confidence Test

Eyes
I do sometimes look at people in the eye conciously, but I don't know for sure!! The eyes are the window to the soul and looking at someone in the eye will indicate your willingness to be open and allow people to access your thoughts and feelings.

Facial Muscles
My default expression is... nothing! When I'm not doing anything my whole face would be super relaxed and I wouldn't even be smiling. But when I'm angry, it definitely shows because my eyebrows would be scrunched together. However, I'm working on this by stretching the muscles in my face vigorously every morning.

Breathing
Confident people have a calm breathing and a very zen aura. But I know that because my class is way up high on the building, I would be huffing and puffing when I arrive.

Limbs
They say that when talking, your hands should show how ope you are. But my default position is with my arms crossed and one leg slightly forward. That's just because its so comfy! There are also times when I feel like people, especially boys cross my personal space without my permission.

Head
Hahaha! I pass this test because I alwayshold my head high.

Smile
I don't really smile if there isn't a reason to. Normally, I would look bored. Smiling puts people at ease and it makes others happy too!

Shoulders
HAHAHAH I PASS THIS ONE NO PROBLEM! My shoulders are pushed back 95% of the time. And my posture is straight. Yeah I would know because I've practiced a straight back for ages until its as natural as breathing.

Hands
I don't bite my nails. I never understand why people would do that. Plus, when I'm nervous, my energy is mostly channeled to my foot tapping and my hands would be relaxed but then sometimes, my hands shake when I am nervous. When I shake hands though, its kind of flimsy, like handing someone a fish.

Dear Crystal,

Dear Crystal,

What is the saddest you have ever been?

When my dad walked me to the gates in primary school, and the whole way, I was sad because I won't see my dad for 6 more hours. Then at the gate, I told him to come study with me lol.

When I was being mean to my little brother and he said, "I wish Mommy was here..." with no anger at all on his face.

When I have to go to boring Sunday school to be taught over and over again about the many ways I can sin.

When I am mean to people, after I walk away, I always feel very very bad. Especially to my parents.

When my friends got 5A's in UPSR, and I got a measly 4A's.

When my aunts or uncles don't give me recognition for getting straight A's on PMR. Then, remembering how a huge party was thrown with the whole village invited for my cousin who got straight A's in just UPSR.

When I see my grandpa being sick.

Yeah yeah! Boohooo boohoo! Stop wallowing on self pity Crystal!

Librarians Nowadays Sucks

What has come to the world?

You know the generation has gone crazy when librarians are running and screaming in the library. Unfortunately, thats the case in the school library.

When I first became a librarian in Form 2, it was okay because the librarians are disciplined and hardworking. But then yesterday..

Two afternoon classes students who were librarians were in the library when they were supposed to be in class, helping Vanissa and me tidy the books.

Me : Are you guys in the afternoon session?
Them : Yeah.
Me : Then what are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be in class?

And they didn't even say anything!

HAIYO WHAT THE HELL?!

I don't care if they're helping me or not, they can take their kind ass somewhere else because I don't want it.

And they were okay, at least they were helping, there were some librarians who were just sitting there doing nothing. And when the prefects told them to go back to class they just said, "Librarian."

And how stupid can todays prefects be to accept that kind of stupid answer? Pretty stupid I guess...

I just need to do a facepalm to myself with a chair or something.

Even the teacher also didn't do a single thing, eventhough it was in plain sight.

AND ANDDDD! The other day, Caroline was in the library after school on Friday while the afternoon session kids were still on duty. And I heard that as soon as teacher was gone, they were like monkeys doing some primate ritual or something. Even though they weren't supposed to allow any afternoon kids in, they just brought their friends in!! O.O How can??! Because apparently their primate ritual can't initiate without their friends.

After that if teacher was going to come in, they would yell, "HIDE!!!" and then hide between the bookshelves. If I was there, my head would've exploded.

Where did all those discipline and fairness among the librarians go?

Every Hour Has Come To This

Last year, Big Sister showed me a truly tear jerking video of a proposal by Timothy Tiah to Audrey Ooi. They're Malaysian bloggers by the way.

And this video is so sweet!

After that, I began to visit Audrey's blog, fourfeetnine and really fell in love with it too! She was the one who spread her wtfs to me and I began to use it in my daily life. But I try to reduce it now.

Through fourfeetnine, I began to read other blogs like Qiu Qiu, Xiaxue and Cheesie.

Then one day, I was chatting with Sarah, Frieda and Jessica when Frieda said she has a blog. So I thought that I could make one too! Just for giggles.

So almost everyday, I would read people's blogs and thats my new hobby!

Okay back to Audrey and Tim. Just now, I visited her blog as always and was excited to see a new post that she got married! I don't even know her but still, I feel happy for her!

Here is the wedding video!

And this is even more tear jerking!!