I feel like my days are just an endless stream of being worried. I'm worried about my vaccinations. I'm worried about my class registration. I'm worried how I will be handling my money in the U.S. I'm worried about packing.
How do you stop being worried???
In the back of my head, I know that I don't need to be worried. That my worries will sort themselves out. But there's an eviler voice saying, "What if it doesn't?".
WHAT IF IT DOESN'T?!
I am consoled though, by the fact that I felt the exact same thing before I went to study at INTEC.
"This is so complicated."
"I wanna stay home."
"I don't know what I'm doing."
And all those nasty thoughts you get before embarking on a new adventure away from home. So I'm going to write a letter to my 17 year old self.
Dear Crystal,
You're only 17. So young and naive and still a fan of EXO. Well this is (almost) 20 year old you so listen up because I have so much wisdom to impart.
Right now, you're probably struggling to matikan the stamps on your perjanjian, and filling out a billion forms and getting your certificates certified and doing the complicated and expensive medical check up.
For University Malaya.
And all your efforts will be for naught because the night before you're registering in UM, you get an offer to go to America!!
Yay! And after an hour of deciding in the hotel, you decide to take it.
Good choice! But so begins more endless forms and procedures. While doing all that, you will feel like shit.
You're gonna feel insecure and helpless and worried. So worried. Mostly worried about how people are going to treat you there because you think that everyone out of that island of yours is mean and scary. Well, they're not. Some of them will get under your skin, but 99% of then will be kind to you. In fact, its the people from this little island la yang hurt you.
Don't worry about everything being so foreign because soon, that place will be like home to you. You meet these really awesome people and you make some really lasting memories. Some of these people, you call family. After half a year, you don't even want to go back to Sabah.
You will love. Maybe, not in the way you want, but looking back, you loved in all the right ways. Don't think about boys and relationships too much cause it wasted SO MUCH of your time. But you will anyway.
Well, my point is, don't worry because everything will be fine. Even some of the documents that you so painstakingly prepared will be rejected by your sponsor and you will prepare new ones by 2 hours in Shah Alam wtf.
PS : You won't need to buy a pail.
PPS : Don't lock yourself out of your room on your first night there.
Love, almost 20 yr old Crystal.
How do you stop being worried???
In the back of my head, I know that I don't need to be worried. That my worries will sort themselves out. But there's an eviler voice saying, "What if it doesn't?".
WHAT IF IT DOESN'T?!
I am consoled though, by the fact that I felt the exact same thing before I went to study at INTEC.
"This is so complicated."
"I wanna stay home."
"I don't know what I'm doing."
And all those nasty thoughts you get before embarking on a new adventure away from home. So I'm going to write a letter to my 17 year old self.
Dear Crystal,
You're only 17. So young and naive and still a fan of EXO. Well this is (almost) 20 year old you so listen up because I have so much wisdom to impart.
Right now, you're probably struggling to matikan the stamps on your perjanjian, and filling out a billion forms and getting your certificates certified and doing the complicated and expensive medical check up.
For University Malaya.
And all your efforts will be for naught because the night before you're registering in UM, you get an offer to go to America!!
Yay! And after an hour of deciding in the hotel, you decide to take it.
Good choice! But so begins more endless forms and procedures. While doing all that, you will feel like shit.
You're gonna feel insecure and helpless and worried. So worried. Mostly worried about how people are going to treat you there because you think that everyone out of that island of yours is mean and scary. Well, they're not. Some of them will get under your skin, but 99% of then will be kind to you. In fact, its the people from this little island la yang hurt you.
Don't worry about everything being so foreign because soon, that place will be like home to you. You meet these really awesome people and you make some really lasting memories. Some of these people, you call family. After half a year, you don't even want to go back to Sabah.
You will love. Maybe, not in the way you want, but looking back, you loved in all the right ways. Don't think about boys and relationships too much cause it wasted SO MUCH of your time. But you will anyway.
Well, my point is, don't worry because everything will be fine. Even some of the documents that you so painstakingly prepared will be rejected by your sponsor and you will prepare new ones by 2 hours in Shah Alam wtf.
PS : You won't need to buy a pail.
PPS : Don't lock yourself out of your room on your first night there.
Love, almost 20 yr old Crystal.
Hi, almost-20-year-old Crystal
ReplyDeleteFrom your already-20-year-old Caroline