2nd December 2014

It has been raining heavily these past few days and yesterday, it rained the whole day. The weather is so pretty like this! :D

I am back in Sabah now, having my semester holidays and I feel unusual. I was so busy with studying and assignments back in school that I was begging for the holidays to come. But now that I am having my holidays, I don’t know what to do and I feel empty.

And everyday I think, what am I gonna do today? And then I answer myself with nothing or something incredibly boring like sleeping. But before I know it, night comes and my family comes home and yay I have company again.

On a sadder note, I just found out my GPA pointer for the semester and its… not as good as I want it to be. I was aiming for 3.5 and above and I didn’t reach it. I got a 3.31 CGPA.

I am tempted to explain to everyone that the grading scale is high and the subjects were hard to justify my less than satisfactory results, but I think its immature to make excuses like that. So I’m just going to redeem myself next time.

There is a reason for me to want a 3.5 CGPA and that is because it is a minimum requirement for me to fly overseas next august. It is a huge setback for me but nevermind la, just study in Malaysia for another year also ok. :D

I don’t know why I am so desperate to fly next year. I really really want to but then again, there are some silver linings. Like for example, I could grow to be more mature and learn to find myself in a familiar environment.  And I’m still figuring out my life so waiting another year might be a good idea.

So for now, I don’t have to worry about university applications or interviews or anything that’s weighing my shoulders down. The CGPA thing is pretty bummy, but I’ll live.

Oh and also, I am totally loving living away from my family. I know some people who are incredibly homesick, and I myself get homesick sometimes too, but most of the time, I feel more free to live on my own with housemates. I like being able to buy late night snacks, and doing my own laundry without any of it going missing, and I like going to study rooms to study and staying at the library late.

Living in boarding school (although I’m not in a boarding school. I’m in college) is awesome. I can see why people love it.

I have also made some friends who I've really come to love and care for and who I know will always be there for me, so that just proves that I'm not the socially awkward seal I think I am! 

Hi Again

All right.

I have been missing from my blog for close to 6 monthys and have probably lost all my readers by now. Well, there was a reason for that and that reason is...

I went to college!!!

Yup I went to college, and am currently doing a foundation in Engineering.

I don't know where to start because it has been such a while... perhaps, at the beginning? Yeah okay.

First and foremost, it happened. I finally left home and started living on my own. On my first day of living in my apartment, my father went back to Sabah, and I almost cried in public. I don't mean the silent tears falling down my face (cause that did happen) but the full out bawling kind of crying. Then two arese started snickering at me from their car near us and it kinda ruined my moment.

Then that night, I cried in my room while my housemates went out lol.

Any other big news? Well, Meow died. I came back home a total of two times since I left and he was totally fine! Then one night, Mummy called me and she said he died... A WEEK BEFORE. T.T I got news that my cat died one week late....

So, how's life Krystal? Are you enjoying it?

Well honestly, I have been quite depressed (not clinically la lol) because I am taking a course that I have no passion in. And I have always dreamed of doing something I love and that I will have fun with my life that the idea that I probably won't takes so much time to sink in. But then, when it did sink (like a month ago) and I thought "Oh my God what have I gotten myself into?!" I got angry at myself and kinda ruined relationship with the people around me with my bitterness. I've been an awful person lately... sensitive, mean, insensitive, an arse to people gosh I don't like myself.

But you know what, I am getting around to accepting. There are some falls like the other day I got a 39/65 for a pre-calculus test and I broke down in class, sobbing. Only about 3 of my classmates saw me though. They were speechless cause maybe that was the first time they had to deal with an overly emotional girl (they were from an all boys school). I rethought my whole life and kinda melted into the ground haha.

But then I got myself together and scored 62.5/65 on the next test woo!

There's so much going on in my life. University applications are going on all over again. Assignments, presentations, homework are given out every single week. But somehow, I am not drowning. I am pretty bad in my socialisation skills though. I seem to say the wrong things and react the wrong way and offend people. Wanna say sorry also, too cowardly to do that.

I don't know what to do about that except to just let it be and hope time will make things better.

Potterhead *sigh*

Small Of Her Back

I have read many books and have come across the phrase 'small of my/her/your/his back' so many times.

But like most words and phrases I don't know, I never bothered to find out what it means.

Then I saw the phrase again in a new book I was reading and finally decided to go find out where the small of the back actually is.

Answer : The part of your right above the top of the pants.

He rested his hands on the small of her back as they began dancing.

Now I know.