I Fail

I failed as a Christian.

I was at the gym just now and my mother whatsapped me.

Mother : Did you go to church?
Me.        : For what?
Mother : Ash Wednesday.

I didn't even know it was Ash Wednesday! Dahlah I haven't been to church for how many weeks already...

I feel quite guilty.

No not just quite. VERY guilty.

I don't even go to a Catholic church, but an Anglican one because its easier. I know I know. It doesn't matter as long as your heart is in the right place.

But if that is so, why is my heart so heavy?

I want to go back to a Catholic church. I want to attend a mass that has been so ingrained in my head I can probably do it in my sleep.

I mean, Anglican churches are great and fun but its not the way I was brought up. I will forever be a Catholic and I don't think anything can change that.

But going to the nearest church from my place costs RM20 per trip which is ridiculous hmph and its never safe to travel alone these days. How ah. How ah...

Maybe a sacrifice I have to make.