What Happened On Tuesday

It was ATUSA night on tuesday!

It was a nice night because all the Fresnorians are there. (Fresno is my class name)

The venue was very very niceeeee. There were these lights on the ceiling that changed into different pretty colours.

And! There was this AMAZING chicken they served as the main course. It was so soft and flavourful *salivate

And! There was this photo booth that you can take photos with on the spot and the best thing was, it was free! Unlimited photos weh, printed and everything. The downside was that the line was super long so I only got to take a picture with Faidah, my crazily gorgeous classmate.

Pics!

Class rep and Zizi

My God, I really need to get a camera. Look at all the pixels these pictures have! And I totally regret not taking enough pictures. After thinking about it, I have no pictures with the boys in my class. :(

Ah well. I'll have to take this case to daddy and mommy.

Another thing happened during the dinner.

The committee asked each class to make a video to be shown during the dinner. So, Aya and Faris represented my class to make a video. But! It was also a surprise for the class because Aya and Faris were so mysterious about it. So, of course la, we were super duper excited to watch the video!

Then, during the dinner, we waited and waited and waited. And guess what? No video *bangs table

What is this!?

We were all disappointed... mostly because there was this band (it was named after a month or whatever) and they played so many songs, and I felt like it was unnecessary. Can't they take 3 and a half minute off to show a little video.

So, when they announced that the last bus back to our hostel was waiting, and that we needed to clear out the ballroom, we were already on our way out. But, we kinda lingered there a bit haha. And when the ballroom was half empty and everyone was scattered, our video played.

And us Fresnorians were right there standing in front of the screen being so syok sendiri, looking at our own video haha. I guess there is a good side to all this. It was just us there together, with almost no one else watching, I guess it made the experience more special to us, well at least to me.

After the video, we went outside to the rooftop garden and held our Secret Santa exchange!! A few weeks ago, Qid suggested that we do a Secret Santa. so that was what we did!

I thought that it was really sweet ho much thought everyone had put into each gift. It was so much fun to see everyone give their gifts and receivng there gifts. There were some people yang setan sikit hahahaha but its ok. My Santa was Umar and he forgot my present in his car =.= hahaha. So I got my present a day later than everyone else.

But after everyone had their gift, he said it was unfair that I didn't know what my gift was so he gave me a jubah which translated to English, is a robe.

This is a cool robe.

Anyway,a jubah is related to Arabic culture and Muslims. Although I am not Arabic or Muslim, I think its still pretty fashionable weh.

So I have been wanting one since the beginning of the year.

When he told me he got me a robe, I was stunned. When everyone turned and made their way to the ballroom, I started to cry. I know I know... so annoying. Its not even silent tears, its the gasping ugly kind.

Saiful saw me and I think he started panicking so I got myself together.

"Crystal??? Why are you crying??"

I'm *sobbbbb* so touched... *sob*" I said rather uglily.

Lol.

Fresnomen and Fresnoritas

When we went back, I was tired, and I was happy, but I was sad at the same time.

I felt like we are going to forget each other someday, and I know that we say our friendship will never end but I'm scared one day, I'll be the only one hanging on when everybody else has let go. Yeah, there's a fear of abandonment there.

Even right now, my heart feels a pang when they said they have moved on. I'm like, DON'T JOKE ABOUT THIS THINGS KNOCK ON WOOD wtf haha.

There will probably be a day when I won't want to talk to them, or they won't want to talk to me. Someday, we will just drift apart and I will have a new set of friends who I will be close to.

Haih, so drama.

I'm so sad that the holiday is over and I have to go away again. And its even sadder to realise that its gonna feel like this for a long time.

The only time when I will truly live and stay in Sabah is when I finish studying and get a job and even then I'm not even sure if I'll work at Sabah.

I know that a lot of people promised themselves to go far far away but Sabah is so beautiful. And it feels like home and I love that feeling.

The air is different at home. The smell is different. The way I talk is different.

I'm not ready to fly halfway across the world!! I don't want to leave.

But its great that I feel like this isn't it? It means that I've had happy moments. Happy enough to make me feel sad.

I don't want to face reality. I don't want to do assignments. Sigh... But I kinda have to. Such is the life of a beast of burden. My heart feels heavy. And my shoulders feel heavy.

I should really do those assignments though haha. Ah! There's so many!!

Drowning Fly

I was having lunch with my family this morning and when we were done eating, I noticed a fly in my aunt's plate.

It was so happily doing dunno what.

After a few minutes I saw the fly drowning in a puddle of soup.

And I was like O.o so kesian!

I have always thought that nice people are cool and that people who are nice to their admirers are cool.

And I have always been afraid to like someone just in case they might laugh at me for it.

I was in my Advanced Composition class last Thursday and we were (for some unknown reason) discussing about crushes and crush-ee.

And this dude in class was talking about someone who admired him. He and his friends basically said that she is a really creepy stalker who wasn't even that pretty.

And I think that's pretty messed up. Although, I am a hypocrite because I have thought that way about some people in the past.

I feel disgusted with myself after that class and I feel disgusted with the boys in much class too.

One of the most recurring thoughts I have once I started college is that gentlemen are rare and if someone would just offer his seat or keep the door open I would be pretty surprised. Although I guess there are one or two kind gentlemen in my class.

One time, a guy complimented my glasses and offered to help me buy food haha.

One of the things I hate the most is when we are supposed to arrange the chairs and tables in class and some people are basically just sitting their doing nothing and criticising! Ugh! That is so annoying!

Okay; I digress. Back to the discussion.

Yeah I was pretty horrified. A person is putting their heart in your hand and you are being careless with it!

And my lecturer was saying how she hopes her son would never go through the same thing. But I disagree. Wouldn't she want her son to be loved?

I would never want my son to be say such bad things and laugh about a person who likes him.

I am trying to be kinder and it is hard when you're not used to it. But its things like this that makes my blood boil and gives me determination to be better.

I'm Going To Be Happy

Ahhhh its been a good day! All I did all day long was eat, sleep, and watch tv shows. And then I did some calculus around midnight.

Luxurious or not?

I've been kinda -what's the word...- tense recently. I felt like I'm slipping in my studies and for a scholar, that screams red lights. Dangerous!

I was losing my mind and that made me even more all over the place. But now I know to relax and just take a deep breath and take things one step at a time.

My sanity is a reciprocal because the limit does not exist. Hehe geddit geddit? No? Okay....

So just breath and put one foot in front of the other, right? Sounds easy enough.

I want to just be excited in life again. I mean, I've been bitter and sad lately and I think that's just a no good state of mind to be in. At first, being miserable felt good but then I realised that that gets old after a while. I grew tired of that gloomy brooding aura.

So I'm gonna be happy. :D

I'm gonna be happy and think as many happy and good thoughts. And since its Lent, its the perfect time to reinvent ourselves for the better.

I'm going back to basics. If you want to be happy, be. There shouldn't be anything else in that equation. Happy equals happy.

I've been worried at how I am perceived. Do people think I'm weird? Do people think I'm stupid? And I realised that's such silly thoughts. People actually think of you much less than you think. I forgot that.

I want to be kinder and make others be happy too. And I want to surround myself with good, positive and happy people.

I once knew a person who was very kind. She was average as far as looks go, but my oh my, her heart shone. I wanted to be around her more and more.

I want to be like that.

And I also want to stop cursing heheeee. I've been saying foul things far too much, its disgusting.