I think last weekend was one of the most fun weekend in the history of weekends I have experienced. But also one of the most irresponsible.

On Sunday, a lot of students from my school were flying off to the US for studies and there were two people I wanted to send off: Qid and Sarah.

As it happens, their flight was at the same time and they had to check in by 7am O.O

I think when people realized the time, they started to become realistic and most of them couldn't go.

I so wanted to go though! So me and some friends decided to rent a car and stay out overnight on 11pm Saturday night, go to the airport by 6.00am and return to our beds by 9am.

God give me strength.

I thought I would be so tired but I was unexpectedly fine throughout the night and morning. We had some bonding time between Fresnorians in the car.

One of the things I loved to hate was when we shared horror stories. I'm terrified of horror stories especially when it is experienced first hand by the storyteller but at the same time, it gave a kind of adrenaline rush. It was gooood.

We also went to watch Scorch Trials! I get to watch more of Newt hehe and it was a really nice movie. Me and Faidah held hands at the intense scenes while Faris slept through them. But the movie was really frustrating! There are still so many unanswered questions...

We also went to a colorful bridge. Yep, a COLORFUL bridge. I was kinda paranoid while we were there cause it felt vulnerable. Anybody could come and mug us cause we were so unprotected. When I voiced out my concerns, the boys said they could protect us. =.= I think they were imagining harmless wolfwhistling and catcalls. I was imagining being at gun point.

But all was well. :D we got back home safe and sound.

We arrived at the airport around 6am and I got to say goodbye to Qid and Sarah.

But Sarah, sorry I couldn't get to you right before you boarded :( Good luck ya! Stay positive, be happy always and study hard!!! Congratulations for flying off, and if you need anyone to talk to, you can watsapp me anytime. Xoxo exo exo. See you in the US :D

What a busy busy busyyyyy few days, as usual.

But this week is as busy as a midsem kind of week! Let me list out my work for you so you can see just how bad this week is...

Chemistry lab report, mock trial personal report, spontaneous speech for contemporary law, physics AND chemistry AND calculus II tests, programming quiz.

Yay for engineering right?

I have my calculus II test tomorrow and I am slowly losing my noggins but that's okay cause...

Next week is a holiday weee!

Which is a well deserved break for me I think. I will be going back to Sabah and my mom is having a holiday too and we can spend some mother daughter time together, which is my favorite kind of time.

Today is a holiday, cause its Malaysia Day and I think I took it for granted cause I didn't even study much. All I did was eat and read and eat and somehow, its already midnight and the day is gone.

I'm sure that if it wasn't a holiday, there'd be more work piled on us.

So, remember how a post a while back was about me complaining about the woes of singledom? Well, after more and more thinking, do I even have time to think about such bullshit right now?

I am barely breathing, so why do I need to muddle up my mind with 'feelings'. Right or not? So, its better to just push all the unnecessary stuff away for now and focus on more important things such as my calculus II test tomorrow, which I should really start studying for.

 Calculus II.... is probably the best among the worst of the core subjects I'm taking. The best subject would be contemporary law which is ironic because I'm taking engineering, not law. Maybe law is my calling.

Another thing, I have been moping a lot lately because my grades aren't as good as I hoped. I mean, they're really really bad. But I think, my moping around and being sad all the time is just annoying the people around me so I need to stop.

But how?

I am the type of person who wears her heart on her sleeve and every single emotion I feel shines through like a big disco ball in a dark room. Even my lecturer said so, "If she (me) likes something, she shows it." Can't help it leh. Its like reflex for me to express.

I'm trying to learn to control my emotions but hahaha I'm not doing very well.

Any tips? I'm bad at playing cards because of this. When people try to guess who I like pun its so easy cause I suck in my cheeks. When I am uncomfortable I take a deep breath. When I'm lying I act really dumb. And when I'm happy I smile by myself.

Sometimes I just want an air of mystery to linger.

Just a short blog post!

Yesterday, I went shopping, cause how often does an engineering major in ACTP get to go shopping right?

Gosh that's still so weird. ACTP. Engineering. AMERICA O.o

Anyway, there was absolutely nothing out there worthy for me to spend on. All the outfits were boring and the few that were mildly interesting were overpriced.

But the good news is that US dollars are dropping :D but now I've said it I must have jinxed it and it'll rise right back up again.

I did buy an eyeshadow from innisfree cause I have no eyeshadow in my makeup stash AT ALL and I saw other people having a whole case of eyeshadow so maybe I could have at least one.

Today is Merdeka, Malaysia's independence day and I'm cooped in my room trying to do my physics lab report and failing miserably. The only thing stopping me from completing it is the bereftness of a protractor in my pencil case.

See that, 'bereft'. SAT word yoooo.

Hmmm, I should take a break and watch a movie. What movie to watch though when I have no internet connection here? Running Man pun cannot watch T.T

Or read a book? :D I have always preferred books as my favorite pastime leisure activity. And books with chocolates snacks combined  are God's gift from heaven I tell you.

I feel so pampered with those two!

Aiyo now I wanna go and get some chocolate coated popcorn... but popcorn is so expensive la how... or maybe just YOLO and buy em? Hm hm hmmmm...

Its a saturday!!

On a saturday, my heart beats in anticipation of doing absolutely nothing. I can just laze and chill and waste my time on reading books or if I'm lucky and the computer room is open, I'd go watch a movie.

Speaking of books, I just read Eleanor and Park and it was a roller coaster of emotions! How can Park want to be with an emotional wreck like Eleanor?! Why why whyyyyy? She's not nice. He deserves better.

Hmph.

Which makes me wonder about this funny little thing called love. I've been thinking about it quite a lot these past few weeks because I am noticing people acquiring it so easily, it's like buying love from the 1 dollar shop. Cheap to get. Easy to break.

How?? How can people go into relationships so easy and here I am practically living the past 18 years and a 11 months single. Of course its not a bad thing to be single, but it makes you wonder if there is something wrong with you. Ugly? Annoying? Gedik? B.O???

Buttttttt I have a consolation.


"Girls are like apples...the best ones are at the top of the trees. The boys don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they just get the rotten apples that are on the ground that aren't as good, but easy. So the apples at the top think there is something wrong with them, when, in reality, they are amazing. They just have to wait for the right boy to come along, the one who's brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree..."

Terima kasih ja la. Its not much of a consolation but ok, it's something hohiho.

Also, imagine all the missed oppurtunities you have. Imagine all the times you have liked someone and never said anything or even gave the slightest indication of your feelings. Or even times when you glance at someone or talked to someone and go, "That's cute," and "That's attractive." There has been hundreds of those times right? Now, imagine all the times that other people have thought things like that about you and you never got to know those times.

There has been hundreds or thousands of moments like that and we don't have the privilege to know! Sigh, this is a world bereft of justice....

Ok ok, the truth is, I think I know why I have such a nonexistent love life: cause I'm a snob. There, mystery solved. Woop dee doo. The first impression people have of me is usually stuck up, cause I'm so difficult to approach.

"Crystal, are you a gamer?" someone asked me one day as I was eating lunch.

"Nope. Why?" I asked, perplexed.

"You have a gamer feeling. Cause gamers are so hard to socialise with," the person replied and without another word, walked away. You can imagine me with a gaping mouth, trying to register what he said.

"Wha- what? I'm hard to socialise? Hey!!" I stuttered to his back.

I always hear stories about people fighting and quarreling and saying harsh things, like a guy friend of mine did. Lets call him Wheel.

He was having a verbal showdown with his friend and I wondered aloud, "I have never been close enough to a person to ever say such things to them."

"That's cause you never open yourself up to anyone," he pointed out.

"Well, maybe people just don't want to get to know me," I countered. After a while, I asked, "Am I really that difficult to talk to?"

"Its just that the first impression of you is that you're full of... (after a minute of thinking for the sugar coated word) integrity. People are afraid to talk to you in case they won't click with you."

Which translates to, "You're snobby looking." I wish I can deny it and say I'm just really shy and introverted but maybe I am a snobby bitch who is antisocial as a rock. Actually, I think I am just moderately antisocial. I wouldn't attempt to make small talk, but if you were to talk to me, I could keep up a conversation with you.

I won't eat you...

Alive hahaha joking joking. I totally would hahaha.

Don't Worry, There's Time

Omg, I have been such a procrastinator lately! And this is a critical time in my education so why am I like this!?

 I do my homework 2 hours before class, that's how bad I am. I just spend my time on my phone all the time.

Haih, so badddddd.

Happy Raya!

Friday night was so much fun! But I was so underdressed! Everyone was dressed up to the nines and there I was in my jeans. 

I ate so much food for RM5 which was crazyyyyyyy. I am a VERY happy girl. There was sate, lemang, ice cream, rendang, sate *throbbing heart shaped eyes

Of course, the best part of it all was the company hehe.

But I was so tired this week. Its like the life is drained out of me everytime the lecturer speaks in front of the class. But its weird cause I sleep quite early. Maybe its the restlessness while I sleep that gets me.

I am always always always sleepy at my 2pm-4pm classes and it is not good cause those classes are usually calculus. So far, my favorite class is C++ programming ^.^ I love my programming lecturer. She's always understanding of us students struggles.

But most of the time, my soul barely attaches itself to my physical body.

Dunno la how I'm going to survive five months of this. T.T

I'm just that lazy.