Urghhh I don't want to go for tuition anymore! I feel like it's much too troublesome for me and also cause I'm feeling so lazy these past few weeks.

This may be a shitty idea but I've decided to quit my Add Maths tuition even if I don't have a replacement for it. Fyi, I have never passed my Add Maths exams before in my whole two years learning it.

Hm, dunno la, my Add Maths tuition just doesn't feel right for me anymore. I'm pretty slow in my work and I can't seem to understand numbers as well as I understand language and my teacher seems to always semi-lose his patience to me.

I'm a very sensitive person, I need a lot of patience.

So, I've decided to search for a private tutor (hopefully its possible) so that I can ask as many questions as I want and it will completely be my pace.

And also I hate Add Maths, why would I want an extra class for something I hate.

But, it seems like this whole Add Maths is hell thing is getting better because my teacher in class is pretty good! But I hate asking him questions also la, his patience so fast wear thin. :(

But when I'm not asking him questions and just listen and try my best to understand, I pick it up quite fast! Moving forward or not eh eh?

I hope I can get at least a B for this subject in SPM. Haiya, I have never passed and yet, dream of a B for it? Near impossible.... But absolutely possible!

Believe it's possible and you're halfway there right?

Oh, and today I finally applied to go for college!!!! As in, matriculation. *big eyes

I have a chance of getting a ticket out of here!

Sometimes I imagine that I'd be wearing all these clothes that I would never be able to wear and wear makeup and then dye my hair lighter and have a boyfriend, lol.

Ya ya ya I know, even some 10 year old girls do and have those things but I feel that being a woman needs timing. I feel disgusted whenever I see little girls tramping around in 6 inch heels and makeup and looped earrings and waving about their credit card and (God forbid!!!) make out with disgusting boys 10 years older when they haven't even have had their first period yet.

Now, if they were 17 or 18, it wouldn't look so disgusting now would it? Except for the 10 years older guy, that would be disgusting any time.

A weird thing happened to me today.

I was doing my usual business in the library, so immersed in a book that everything around me is blocked out, when something grabbed my knee.

I did the only thing my brain could tell me to do, I gave a little yelp of surprise.

Ok, not little, more like a huge shout.

It was so embarassing, the whole library was looking at me. Not the kind of attention I wanted at all!

Looking under the table, it was actually Karen, a friend and also a relative.

Haiya, then things were made worse when she loudly exclaimed her apologies and made a scene by saying sorry.

Lol, after a while everything went back to normal and once in a while, you can hear a few people yelping, probably from the shock of someone grabbing their knees...