Anyway, ever since form 4 when I an education fair was held in my school, I have been worrying about what to do with my life after secondary school. I was so indecisive but back then, I kept brushing the thought away cause back then, I didn't have to decide. That seemed like a looooong time ago and I wish I had more time now.
Cause I still don't know what career path to choose at this moment. I like writing. I like reading. I like watching movies. I'm torn between financial security and total happiness.
Then again, just because I'm doing something that isn't my passion, doesn't mean I'll be miserable. And vice versa.
This little talk by Alan Watts made me think.
So, what would I do. I thought about this A LOT these past few days. I lost sleep over this. I even eat while thinking about this. And the conclusion I have come to is, a blogger. I have dismissed the thought of blogging as a full time career long ago when a lady told me that I absolutely cannot make a satisfactory living out of it. Hmm, I am quite angry when I think about this. Who is she to tell me what would and what would not make me satisfied anyway?!
Being a blogger would mean that I could write and share my experiences to everyone. That I have an extra something to look forward to when I travel or after I eat a doughnut lol. I would also take more risks in life, hoping to make it good blogging substance. And most of all, I have a good venting outlet haha. And after having all those good stuff, I get paid!
But when I ask people for suggestions, they come up with two, that is DOCTOR or ENGINEER. These are literally the only two that has been suggested. Things like, zoologist, biologist, psychologist, teacher, or nurse aren't even considered. And when I ask them why that would suit me, its because they pay is high. =.= What about what really suits me??? When I told my parents I'm considering veterinary, they scoffed (but they said to go for it after that if I really want to :D)
I can't help but think that money is important. Not the most important la, I still have my morals and values, but its important enough to sway me. I don't know, I still have time to think it through but not as much time as I'd like. I really envy people who know exactly what they want to do, like some of my friends.
One wants to be an architect, and she has a passion for art.
One wants to be an actuarist, because she has a passion for numbers.
One wants to be an accountant, because she has a passion for accounting.
One wants to be a pharmacist because she has a passion for chemistry,
And me? I want to be an english teacher/writer because I have a passion for English? I want to be a lawyer because I like to talk a lot? I want to become a zoologist or ecologist or vet because I like animals nature? I want to be a plastic surgeon because I have a passion for beauty lol I joke! *shifty eyed
Its just that I don't have a dominating passion. Everything is just something I enjoy, but not enough for it to actually be my earth and sky.
Well, like everything, this too will pass. And I hope when I read this post 10 years later, I'll be able to laugh and wonder why I'm so worried and uncertain. Pray to God that I won't be crying and wondering why I didn't listen to Mr Allan Watts. *knock on wood hahaha
Another thing that is a mystery is how many scholarships I should apply to. I mean, I thought that I would be applying to like 10, but so far let's just say that the number is very low. But I'm not worrying much about this la cause there's UPU and Matrikulasi as my back ups and a lot of private universities offers generous scholarships sooooo yeap...
I just need to practice on my interviews. My strategy is to be confident in any situation no matter how flustered I feel in the inside. This is all so new to me!
Hwaiting!
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