I'm Nervous

Its been a while since I made more resolutions for myself.

One of the resolution that I have unconsciously made for myself is to study more and I really really try to. Sigh, but its not enough to try, I have to actually do it since action speaks louder than words.

(And just to impress you all, I have studied for three hours before writing this post hehehe. I'm really easily impressed. And just to impress you all more, I was doing add maths hua hua!)

My life is revolving around studying now when just a month ago, it revolved around my drama competition. That was hectic and we didn't even win hmph.

But now, I want to win to myself! I want to prove to myself that I really can do anything, that I can be my own personal superwoman. Never in my life have I ever had less faith in myself than now and never in my life have I had as much headaches as I have now. Before this, I've always thought that everything will go alright whatever I choose to do, and it has. But then, shit was shat.

But on Tuesday this week, we had a motivational talk by Sir Ezone Constantine and he said that we can change. Even with 23 weeks left on my clock, I can change to become a straight A student?

It seems really impossible once you take a look in my results.

But if you take a look at my other results, I AM IMPROVING!!!!!

From getting a C in English to an A. From an F to a D in History!! I was so happy to hear that I passed!! From failing my Add Maths to another D as well is just such a happy moment for me even though that was only my First Semester Test.

So, I want to get that feeling again and again and again!

Ezone told us that he was failing seven subjects and he had two months left to study for his own SPM and then he passed everything. Not A's but passed which is still impressive with two months.

And now, he is on his way to becoming a millionaire!

I want to have an amazing story that would inspire and motivate people as well!

So everyone who reads this blog of mine, please pray for me so that my mind can be opened to every single fact and detail needed for SPM because even though its weeks away, I can feel my stomach tied into knots at the thought of it.

Its funny, now that I've seen how hard SPM can be, taking PMR seems easy. I remember that I was a little nervous but I knew I was ready. If you asked me to take my SPM now, I would just be sitiing there blankly looking at my papers haha.

I promise though, that I will do my best! Anticipate it!

I'm gonna go and continue studying now lol. This was just a half hour break from Add Maths. Its killing me slowly, like cyanide.

Oh speaking of cyanide, I love love love my EST classes! Its one of the classes I look forward to the most in the week. I'm glad I chose to take it, its one of those fun classes where we all just talk and talk and talk non-stop about all the issues going on around us.

This week, we talked about synthetic fibres for the clothing industry and about women things like PMS and our menstruation and that using tampons is bad for health so we should stay away from that. And its not bad for health as in taking our virginity or something silly like that but our menstrual blood consists of layers and tissues from our womb that are solid so those stay inside the womb if you use tampon.

Last week, we talked about how animals were slaughtered and I was so sad to hear how cruel it really is. I even turned semi vegetarian as in I try not to eat meat.

Its slowly changing my life! :O

Anyway, if you have the time, do try to check the video out on youtube. If you're up for a disgusting time of course.