Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Dear Santa

Dear Santa Claus,

This year, I have been a very materialistic little girl. I have not murdered, and I have always helped people with their insecurities, eventhough I inwardly roll my eyes. And I always say thank you, which makes me seem like I care, and so I deserve lots of money this year!

Please bring all this stuff for me and the people in my life: For my mommy, please bring Valium. For my daddy, please bring a new Rogaine prescription. For my little brother, please bring Legos. For my doggy, please bring non-surgical sterilization. Oh – and for my mail man, please bring some work ethic.

Now about me! Please bring me all of the Harry Potter toilet paper, and front row tickets to Mathias Lauridsen's fashion shows – plus backstage passes so I can get behind the scenes! Oh, and please don’t forget to bring my Lamborghini Diablo VT 6.0 in pastel pink. But if you can’t, just remember that more than anything Santa, what I really really want is just $100,000,000! For shopping of course.

Anyway, I hope you like the coca cola I left out for you.

Love,

Purcrystally

PS: Please say Merry Christmas to Ralph, the heartless Elfin slavemaster.

PPS: Oh yeah, and remember A#1 and that girlfriend of his? They have been two really homicidal dorks all year long and doesn’t deserve any Christmas presents. So please don’t forget to put dog crap in their stocking. Thanks!








Gasp! Christmas is in 10 weeks! Time just flew by this year didn't it? If you didn't notice, the letter was a joke, obviously. Just pointing it out. And that comment about A#1 and his girlfriend was a joke too. A mean joke but still, its not something serious.

Here's a list of things I want for Christmas! (Most of them are impossible)

1. I want it to snow!
2. I want my christmas to be like when I was younger, full of christmassy movies, songs, all my relatives gathering together.
3. Money, that will never change.
4. Christmas clothes that was better than last year.
5. My skin to be okay for christmas pictures.
6. I would be able to chug a can of beer, impossibru!! And not get drunk.
7. Perhaps, I would dye my hair for the first time?
8. Christmas romance!! Oh! Christmas kiss!!
9. The rambutan tree behind my dad's house will be fruitful so my cousins and I could climb it.
10. Miraculously lose some of my baby fat without working out or dieting.
11. Basically that everything would be all highs and smiles!
12. My whole family would be there for christmas! Last christmas, Big Brother wasn't around. And whole family as in cousins, aunts, uncles and the whole shibang.
13. I get to hug the random santa that goes around in shopping malls.

There's a lot more I'm sure but thats all I can think of right now.

Why do I love christmas so much ah...

Christmas always has that feeling to it. And no, its not about the presents. It is way more than presents and drinking and partying... and money lol. In this case, money is not the thing that makes me happy.

Hmm, maybe its the bond between my family. Since I don't get to see my cousins as much as I'd like to so when we get together, there's always something to talk about. And we never get bored during christmas since theres so many things to do like bake cookies! Tradisional cookies lol. And its so yummy that every morning I would steal some from the big container full of it.

And the rambutan tree is where the fun is lol. My cousins and I used to climb it and pretend that we were power rangers and the random dogs and chicken were aliens. And there was that one time, one of my older cousin buried a dead buffalo calf under our tree and we just watched. We even touched it, gross I know! It just came out from the vagina again that! YUCKYUCKYUCK OH GOD WHY.

Christmas is never complete without....
1. Ghost stories.
2. Hallmark christmas movies.
3. Sneaking a peek at our presents.
4. Church, duh.
5. Christmas carols.
6. Uncles getting drunk.
7. Adventures that I can't mention in this blog or I'll get in trouble.
8. Witnessing chickens being slaughtered by aunts.
9. Babies.
10. Shopping.
11.Some disastor happening and someone crying (quite possibly me)

I can't wait for the christmas season to come! There must be lots of sale in the malls right!? *big shiny eyes I can just see the bright light at the end of the tunnel now!!

Actually, I think the season has already come for me cause I'm already  planning on stocking up on seasonal clothes (green, red and white themed!!) and christmas songs for those rides back and forth from my hometown in Beaufort and KK. What is wrong with me, already spent RM 75 last Saturday, want to spend more money again. Haiya.

But its okay! What good is money if you don't spend it, right? And besides, shopping is contributing to the economy so that means I am a good citizen lol. That's what I tell my piggy bank every night.

To end this post, I shall put a badly taken video of my hometown and me doing some embarassing things and talking too fast.

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