Ranting Rants of A Ranter

Well well well, aremt you a lucky reader. Cause I'm going to do a ranting post today!!

I am stupid.

I'm not even gonna try to sugarcoat it, please. I failed 5 subjects, got only one B and even that's EST, and the rest are Ds. Sigh, I can hear people audibly gasping, 'Crystal! How can you be do stupid?!'

I know, I know. T__T

No, I don't really know. How did I manage to go from straight A student to stupid crap of a half failing student? No, don't tell me its the blogs fault cause I reduced Facebook time lol.

You know what, for your intertainment, I'll list down my stupid excuse of grades.

BM - 60 something C
BI - 69 (first time I had a C in English in my life)
Moral - 62 C
EST - 74 or was it 72. B
Biology - Fail.
Chemistry - Fail.
Physics - Fail.
History - Fail. (45)
Add Maths - Fail (27)
Maths - 60. C

Yeah, I can hear you audibly gasp again, 'Crystal, its worse than I imagine!!)

I think my problem is that I don't know how to answer it. For physics, if I had gotten the format right, I would've passed roar!

I hate formats. Formats sucks. Did the Neanderthals used formats when they discovered fire? No, I don't imagine so.

Margaret Thatcher once said that we care to much about our feelings that people don't think anymore. Our thoughts become our words. Our words become our actions. Our actions become our habits. And our habits become our destiny. Or so I think that's what she said.

I think I am stupid.... oh crap.

I even feel stupid right now.

I guess I'm following my feelings to much nowadays. I study when I feel like studying which is never and I do my notes like never. Which reminds me that I have to finish up my moral kursus and then wrap all my books. Sigh, work work work. When will the work end?

When I'm 60? And then what? By then I'll be an old cat lady!

I won't have the energy to travel or have fun when I'm 60!

My teacher says that I should continue my studies until PhD.... well, I'll be damned if I have to study all my life.

If I study, I'll get good grades. If I get good grades I have good university. If I get a good university, I get good master's degree. If I get my masters, I can get a PhD. If I get a PhD, I can get a good job. Then because I have a PhD, my life would be so busy that I have to work day and night. Then I'll have white hair and wrinkles. Then before I know it, I'll be 60 and retiring. Then when I want to sunbathe naked in the Bahamas people say I should've done that when I was 20. We work so we can have a relaxing life... but to me, it doesn't seem so relaxing at all.

I have insomnia now I think. And it sucks. Lol, so random.

And you know what else is random, the bright side! The silver lining!

I got ahli cemerlang, which means the best club member for Fencing Club!
I became President for St John Ambulans.
I became secretary for Fencing Club.


And that is where my silver lining ends.


I don't mean the things I said about the good grades. I really really really want good grades actually. My life has to matter. I don't want to be a small blip in the world. So, mark my words. I'll make my comeback someday!